Caught up in the Moment
by Aeedriedge
Summary: Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, other boy gets jealous and all hell breaks loose. Who said finding true love would be easy? VashXMerylXOC (main) KnivesXMilly (secondary) Contains: Sappy lines, endless whining and passionate, sloppy kisses but in all honesty, what do you expect in a Romantic/Comedy/Drama? Language, petty fights and sexual content included :) Three Part Story


Part I

The Meeting

Disclaimer: Yooo! So, as we all know by now, none of us dedicated and creative souls known as Fan Fiction writers own these wonderful characters that we put our blood, sweat and tears into obsessing about! Vash the stampede, Milly Thompson, Meryl Stryfe, and Millions Knives all belong to the inventive and gifted writer Yasuhiro Nightow and you know what? I'm ok with that! So I hope you enjoy the story and if you don't well…that's ok too J

**_Writer's notes and rubric_****:** Ok, so there are some confusing things in this story and I just wanted to clarify some things. First off, Meryl and Milly's ages are never specified. Along with Matt's or any of the countless characters I have created while writing this, so I wanted to just break it down a little.

Meryl's age in the beginning: 27, by the end 28

Milly's age in the beginning: 26, by the end 27

Matthew's age in the beginning: 30, by the end 30

Vash and Knives age in the beginning: 137, by the end 137

Rubric: _/_…_/:_ time that has gone by

**/""/**: television, radio, movie, and answering machine speaking

-: end thought of one person and entering into a new

******: same person's point of view, but in another scene

~~~: dream

*speaking*: indicating people's emotions and facial expressions.

/-/: end of part (sections)

_/_/_:_ letter being read from writer's perspective

There you have it! I hope this story is liked by someone….I mean, I took me an entire month and countless sleepless nights to finish! This is also my very first fan fiction, so be gentle…very, very gentle. Lol! Also, the majority of the story has language but by the end, it has a brief moment of course language interwoven throughout certain situation, so you have been warned. Same with the sexual content. Subtle…but still at times detailed in a tactful way. Enjoy!

"…Meryl…its Meryl…"

What the hell am I doing? Why am I talking with this man, whom I've only known for less than an hour, like I've known him my entire life?! Why the hell am I blushing?! Crap…I hope he didn't notice.

"What a pretty name. It matches that lovely face of yours."

"Umm, thanks…"

Oh no…I'm doing it again! Why do I keep blushing every time he speaks! Hold it together meryl…he's just a guy, who you barely know, trying to get a reaction out of you…a tall, gorgeous-what the hell am I saying! I need to get away for him...he's going to make me do, or say, something I'll be regretting later...

"Well, Matthew is it-"

"Yes."

"Well, um, it's getting late and I think I should go. It was wonderful talking with you-"

"Do you really need to leave?"

"Yes, I have work in the morning and my roommate will be worrying about me if I don't get back soon. I really enjoyed our conversation-"

"Will I be able to see you again? I would really like it if I could…"

Oh crap! What do I say to that? Oh gosh…if only he wasn't so damn handsome! This is isn't supposed to be happening! How did I go from drinking away my sorrows about that good for nothing outlaw to sitting here talking with this charming, attentive lady killer?! This doesn't make any sense!

"I-"

"Just say yes. What harm could a dinner do anyway?"

If only he knew…

"Matt, I, uh, well, you see…"

Damn it! I wish he would stop staring at me like that! Doesn't he see how hard saying no to him right not is!

"8 o'clock Friday. At the rodeo inn restaurant. Wear something nice."

"Wa-"

With that he got up, left some money on the table for his drink and proceeded out the door…what the hell just happened….did I just get asked out on a date? And did he just force me to agree to it without even giving me a chance to object!? I could feel my nerves throbbing from the sudden realization that I would have to try explaining this to milly…whom would be just as shocked as I am that I was going to be meeting up with practically a stranger for dinner on Friday….

"I must seem desperate for a date or something…I wonder if Vash…"

What the hell am I saying? He wouldn't care, I'm just that annoying 'insurance girl' who always follows him around to make sure he stays out of trouble. Nothing more…he doesn't even look my way half the time, let alone pay attention to me. Why should I care what he would think about me going out with this guy? I mean…it's not like he cares for me…in the way…I stopped myself from finishing the thought…

"Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why did I have to fall for a guy like him?"

The image of bright, piercing eyes and a wide smile flooded my mind…that damn goof….why did he have to be so perfect…

"Uh miss?"

My daydreaming was suddenly cut off by the bartender whom was staring at me questionably while he continued closing up for the night…

"Oh, my apologies! I didn't realize how late it was. I'll be going then."

I quickly jumped up from the stool, placed the money and tip for the drink at the bar and left…as the cool air hit my face the memory of the guy with the great smile came flooding through like a movie that wouldn't stop playing…

"Friday at 8…oh boy…"

"Wakey, wakey! You'll never get anything done laying around like that!"

The sound of shuffling feet and my door slamming open caused me to wake from my much need rest….he proceed to yank the covers down from over my head and stare at me with that dumb look as if I should have known it was time for me to get up…uuhggg…I knew I should have locked that damn door last night…

"Vash, what the hell are you-"

"Wake up meryl! If you don't hurry you'll be late for work"

"Oh no!"

I looked over at the clock and could feel the blood drain from my face…how the hell did it become 7:30 so damn quickly?! I proceeded to tumble out of bed and run towards my closet…

"If you need any help-"

"GET OUT!"

I quickly pushed him out the door and slammed it…damn idiot didn't seem to see the urgency in me getting dressed…what did he think, I was just going to let him sit there and watch?! I swiftly grabbed my uniform and ran to the bathroom...

"7:35, jeez! I only got 25 minutes!"

I turned on the shower, undressed and hopped in…no time for lollygagging…if I was late again they would be taking the time out of my paycheck…damn it! How did I over sleep again?! I really need to stop staying out so late…

"That was rude…"

I stood in front of the door for a moment and listened as she began rummaging through her closet until the swift sound of another door closing was heard from the opposite side of the door…

"Second time this week…I wonder what's bothering her…"

I made my way downstairs to the kitchen. Milly was still preparing breakfast and she turned and waved to me once I sat down at the table…

"Hi Mr. Vash! Sleep well?"

"Good morning milly! Yeah, just fine actually! How about yourself?"  
"Like a rock!"

I slightly chuckled at the big girls comment…I guess that makes two of them…

"Where you able to wake Meryl? I tried a little earlier but she just rolled over and pulled the covers over her head…she's been sleeping in really late lately…I wonder if it has to do with all her late night escapades…"

She became lost in thought as I looked at her questionably and began to answer…

"Yeah, it took me to slam her door open for her to actually stir from her sleep-she's been staying out late, lately uh?"

"Yeah, I think this is her third time in two weeks she's been coming in around 2 in the morning…I wanted to ask her about it but haven't gotten around to it yet."

She picked up the skillet and placed a large helping of scrambled eggs with bacon and green onions down on my plate…three times in two weeks…I wonder why she's been staying out so late…

"Well, if I get a chance I'll ask her about it! You enjoy your breakfast Mr. Vash! I have to get going now!"

She then untied her apron and set it down on the table as she grabbed her hard hat and boots. She gave one more assuring smile and proceeded out the door to work…

"Have a good day milly!"

"Bye!"

Well I guess I'll have to wait to find out…or ask her myself….to tell you the truth, I don't really like either option…knowing meryl she'll probably give me hell if she thinks I'm prying into her personal business…but the thought of not knowing seems worse...

"Maybe if I…"

I lost my train of thought as the smell of vanilla and sandalwood filled the air…she made her way to the cabinet and pulled out a small box and started filling it with some of the breakfast concoction milly prepared and a batch of grapes. I watched her inquisitively as she reached for another item from the middle shelf; she suddenly turned around and caught me staring and gave me an annoyed look…I guess she is still mad at me…

"Hey, I'm sorry about this morning, I was-"

"It's ok. I'm thankful actually. If you didn't wake me I would still be sleep right now and my paycheck would be dwindling away with each passing minute."

She gave a brief smile and I could feel my heart rate quicken a bit. When did she let her hair grow out? Was her eyes always this bright? Or did they suddenly illuminate more with each passing day…the slight blush and tinted chap stick gave her a radiant glow that complimented every angle of her face…was she always this beautiful? I couldn't help but get lost in her blue-violet eyes and not notice the awkward expression that was starting to form on her face….

"Uh, earth to Vash…are you ok?"

"Wha-oh yeah! I guess I got lost in thought! Have a good day at work then!"

I gave a quick smirk, grabbed my plate and headed for my bedroom…I hope she didn't notice how I was looking at her…if she knew what I was thinking at the time she would have probably uppercut me into nothingness…I proceeded down that hall, walked into my room and closed the door…

"Meryl are you listening to me! I said that table needs some more coffee and napkins! Meryl!"

"Wha-oh, I'm sorry Mr. Greensworth! I'm on it!"

Caught daydreaming again…I swear, if I don't get a grip I'm going to be out of a job…

I quickly grabbed the mug of coffee and spare napkins and headed towards the table…

"Sorry about the wait; here are the items you requested."

I sat the napkins down on the table and began refilling their cups. The old one was smiling at me with a look I didn't particularly like while the middle aged one continued to read his newspaper as if I didn't exist…charming pair…

"Thanks gorgeous"

"Umm uh, your welcome sir"

I finished, gave a slight nod and walked away…I could still feel his dazed eyes undressing me…old perv, if I wasn't on the clock I probably would have given him a piece of my mind…and a solid slap…

"Meryl! Tables five and six needs their orders!"

"Ok meg!"

I ran towards the kitchen; almost tripping over some damn idiot's leg that was sticking too far out from his chair and proceeded to grab the orders…

"These are tables 5 and 6 right?"

"Yep"

"Ok"

I picked up the plates and headed out the double doors…

I selected this place because I heard a beautiful raven haired woman was waitressing here….when I saw her striking eyes and cheerful expression I knew she was the person my colleagues were speaking of…the short violet eyed girl made her way towards me with my order and as she turned to look me in face she almost dropped my food…

"Mat-tt-thew!"

"Hi sexy"

The blush that spread across her face was well worth the comment…she placed my meal down on the table and began to try and regain her composure…

"I would have never expected to see you here!"  
"Well, a man does have to eat doesn't he?"

I laughed briefly at my remark and could see she was flustered…time to make this moment not so awkward….

"So, how long have you been working here?"  
"I uh, well…"

I guess I was making her nervous…

"Do you not feel comfortable answering the question?"

"Oh no! Not at all! I just was trying to remember the exact date is all! I believe this month will make it 6 months since I started."

She gave a nervous smile and I could tell she was really surprised to see me…I smiled reassuringly to let her know I wasn't purposely stocking her and she continued with the conversation…

"Do you work around here?"

"You could say that"  
"I've never seen you come in here before"  
"I thought I would try something different"

I looked her over once more and began to feel a familiar feeling creep within my stomach…I noticed the same thing happen last night but with a little more anticipation...even though I was slightly tipsy I could tell she was attractive…but now without the influence of alcohol I was really able to focus in on her natural beauty…the way she wore her hair in a medium length bob to the way the light hit her blue-violet eyes…her curvaceous figure which hugged all the right places and how she spoke with such presence and assurance…it was all so captivating….I never met someone quite like her in all my days on this barren desert…if only I could be able to swim in those eyes forever my time here wouldn't seem like such a waste….

"Meryl! Your break is coming up! Hurry up with the customers so I can take mine next!"

She snapped her head back and yelled out an ok to let the other girl know she was listening. She then turned to look at me once more…

"Well you enjoy your lunch. I hope it isn't so terrible you never come back again"

"I think it will be fine, besides, even if it is terrible ill still come back, so I can see you"

Her whole face turned a beet red and she laughed nervously again….my flirting must be becoming too much for her. She mumbled something under her breath before bowing slightly and turning to head towards the back…I watched her walk away and thought to myself how she would look in something tighter and slightly more revealing…the image made me smile wickedly…

"I'm looking forward to finishing our conversation Friday"

I then lifted my fork and began eating away at my now half cold meal…

"How was your day at work Meryl?"

Milly's happy smile and positive demeanor always made it nice to come home after a long day working. She was once again in the kitchen preparing some strange dish with whatever she could find in the fridge…I was almost afraid to ask what exactly it was when I noticed the can of corned beef and sardines being thrown together in the skillet…I'll probably be skipping dinner tonight…

"Fine, exhausting but surprisingly decent for once."

"Did you have to slap a couple of customers again today?"  
"Thankfully not"

I could still see the pervert who thought my ass was the perfect groping toy, play vividly in my head as if it happened yesterday. He and his buddies found out the hard way that putting your hands on a person's backsides would lead you getting a hard backhand to the face. Luckily my coworkers vouched for me and I didn't get reprimanded…the three perv's weren't so lucky…

"How about you Milly? Did you have a good day today?"

"I sure did! We were able to find another water source near the courthouse which means we can now have two fresh water reservoirs instead of just one! Maybe we can start our own garden or something if we can finally have decent soil."

She was so hopeful in making this place into a better and more productive town…they have already done so much…I really hope all her hard work pays off and she can reap the benefits. The thought made me smile along with the image of her planting fresh veggies and herbs in the small lot of our rented house…

"Do you want some onions in your helping Meryl?"

She looked over at me as she continued putting together the frightening meal she thought would be suitable to eat. All I could do to prevent myself from gaging was make as if I had something else I needed to doing and ignore the question…

"Well I think I'm going to go upstairs and unwind. I have a bunch of paper work I still need to do and I actually just nibbled on something before I got home."

"Really? Do you want me to save you a plate?"

"No, that's ok. If I get hungry again I'll probably eat something small or light like a carrot stick or something"

"*head in the refrigerator* but we don't have any carrotsti-"

"Ok milly, I'll see you later!"

I jolted out the door before she could protest and made my way towards the stairs…

"Finally. Now for a quick shower and a nice book…"

I found myself stopping at the foot of the stairwell to look down the hall at Vash's room…

"The door is still closed…I wonder if he is even in there."

After Knives left and got himself a two bedroom apartment six blocks away from us, he more or less spent most of his time over there; It was surprising to see him here this morning. The image of him waving hello to me as I made my way to my room caused me to sigh softly…

"Vash…do you realize how much I miss seeing you…"

I looked over at his room one last time before I continued my trek up towards my room…

"Maybe I'll make that into a long shower instead; it should help to alleviate some of the stresses hampering my life…"

I turned the knob to the room, entered and quietly closed the door…

"Was I out THAT long!?"

"Yes you idiot! You slept practically the whole day since you got here! When I left to go to that damn hell hole I call a job you were asleep and now that I've gotten back you are STILL in the same exact place I last saw you! No wonder those two women kicked you out! They probably got tired of seeing your lazy ass not do anything but eat, sleep and urinate! Get a job for crying out loud before I throw your ass out on the street myself!"

"*watery eyes* that's so cold knives!"

He was looking at me as if he was ready to pop while I continued giving him my teary, puppy eyed expression…the girls didn't throw me out! I was still staying there even though most of my things were here in his apartment! And I have a damn a job! Watching over him and making sure he didn't convert back into a raging lunatic was a pretty hard ass job! Plus, I take little side work here and there so I don't come off as too much of a leech and still he isn't appreciative! I knew I should have crashed in my room instead of the couch…

"Knives, I didn't mean to sleep all day. I was just exhausted from the late night security job I had the other night and couldn't stop myself."

"*grumbling* If you weren't my brother I swear I would have killed you and left you in a gutter some place by now."

"*gasp* you wouldn't!"

His expression changed from that of malcontent to indifference in a matter of seconds….

"Just clean up all this crap you left around here and go to your own space. I'm tired and just want to relax before I have to get up in the morning and repeat this nightmare I call my life."

"It's not all that bad kniv-"

He shot me a dirty look and I quickly started to pick up my things…jeez, for a guy who practically got a second chance at life thrown in his face he sure wasn't very grateful...some people just don't know how to smile and roll with the punches life gives you…at least somebody was willing to hire his evil ass…

"You're moving to slow Vash! Hurry your ass up!"

"Jeez, what crawled up your butt and died today!?"

He shot me another dirty look as he proceeded to shove me out the way so he could get to the kitchen…

"What the hell happened to my leftovers?! Did you eat them again you glutton's moron!"

"…I got…hungry"  
"THAT'S IT! Get out you lazy, overeating piece of garbage! You can go stay at those damn women's house tonight for all I care! I just don't want you in my presence anymore!"

"But I'm not finished cleaning-"  
"OUTTTT!"

Before I knew what was happening I was being violently pushed out the front door with my clothes thrown in my face and a hard slam echoing through the hallway as well as my ears…

"That was rude as hell KNIVES!"

Wow, I didn't think I could get thrown out of two places in the same day….damn uptight brother of mine…the food wasn't even that good to begin with! I probably spared him the time of having to throw it away, anyway! Jackass…I grabbed my spare clothes and headed down the hall to the stairway…

"He could have at least thrown my box of donuts out with me"

The cool air was refreshing as it hit my skin once I stepped out the stuffy apartment complex…

"Hopefully someone will be up once I get there…the jerk also forgot to throw me my spare keys…"

I walked in the direction of the girl's house all the while thinking if maybe she would be the one to answer the door when I arrived. I wonder if she would be wearing those cute flannel jammies with the bunnies all over them…I smiled to myself…she probably didn't think I seen her in them the last time I came in late. I was pretty hammered that night on the kitchen table but I could still make out the silhouette of her small figure tiptoeing towards the cupboard to get a midnight snack…she looked so darn cute with her hair tied back in a messy ponytail and that surprised expression plastered across her face…she probably thought I was too drunk to notice…those cute little pj's and the fact her shirt was practically unbuttoned from the neck down to her…the memory of her lacy lavender bra sent shivers down my spine and other area's they had no business being…

"Maybe I should change the subject..."

I continued to walk in the direction of the house when I saw the sign for a late night donut shop illuminating the other side of the street…

"IM SAVED!"

I swiftly ran over and proceeded to buy a dozen of their finest looking glazed and old fashioned styled donuts. The old man behind the counter looked rather shocked someone would actually be up this late trying to buy donuts…the fact I only had on some pajama bottoms and sneakers probably didn't help matters much either…I mean…he looked like he was about to pass out from sheer fright! I didn't know my scars had THAT type of reaction with men too…I could see the ladies freaking out but I would think a guy would be used to seeing a couple of knick and bruises…ok, maybe mine looks more like someone was having a little too much fun with the scalping knife but dang…did he have to make me feel SO self-conscious? With the little money I had on me, I bought the donuts, waved goodbye and continued down the street to the girl's house a little happier and a lot more discomfited…

"You would think he seen the reincarnation of Frankenstein the way he was looking at me…"

I let out a loud sigh and stared to munch on half of a glazed donut…the soft porch light of Meryl and Milly's rented house could be seen a couple of houses ahead and I stared to slow my pace as to not make too much noise once I hit the front steps…

"Dang, they must both be asleep…I don't see-"

As I got closer, the faint light from their living room could be seen from behind the curtains…

"Oh man that was close. I thought I was going to have to sleep here on the porch for a minute."

I walked up the three small steps to the front door and knocked gently…

"*soft tone* Milly…Meryl…it's me! Vash" I was almost whispering; I really didn't want the neighbors to see me like this…

"Milly! Meryl-"

Suddenly I heard the soft shuffling of feet approach the door...a sleepy voice could be heard from behind it…

"Who…who is it?"

It was milly…

"It's me! Vash!" I said a little louder to make sure she could hear me clearly.

"Oh!"

She unlatched three locks and began to slowly open the door…I guess to make sure it was really me…

"Oh Mr. Vash! It is you! What are you doing here so late? Did something happen over at your brother's house?"

She could always pick up on things so easily…it was a great trait to have but in instances like this…it was kind of annoying…I mean, not to sound mean but I really didn't want to have to get into how knives threw me out at this very second…

"No, I just thought I would come back for the night because the bed here is way more comfy than the piece of crap knives has me sleeping on."

I placed my hand behind my head and gave a fake laugh. She seemed to buy the explanation and let me in…

"Are you hungry Mr. Vash?"

She relocked all the latches and turned to me with half opened blue eyes. I just quickly answered her no, convinced her that I was fine and that she should just go back to sleep. She gave me a quick smile, clicked out the living room light and slowly made her way back to her room…

"Looks like she's been crying again…"

Sometimes she stayed up late talking with herself…almost as if she was communicating with him directly…even though I knew that was physically impossible. It had almost been five and a half years since Nick died and I could still recall more than one occasion I've heard the faint sound of sobbing coming from her room. It was normally when she thought no one was around or a sleep…but I thought with this new guy she was seeing things would be getting better for her. I guess some things are just too hard to get over no matter how much time has passed…

"I hope she's ok in the morning…"

I made my way to my room and once I was inside, placed my clothes on the small, wooden chair closest to the door…

"Maybe I should shower…yeah, I think I will"

The house had a total of three bathrooms, two of which were already taken by Meryl and Milly respectively. The final half shower was located up the stairs right next to Meryl's room…why the people who built this house felt compelled to put the last blasted bathroom up there is still a mystery to me…

"I hope I don't wake her up…I really don't feel like being lectured right now…"

…unless the lecturing lead to something more…interesting….wait! What am I saying! I shouldn't be thinking like this…she would kill me if she even thought I was fantasizing about her in a sexual way! But…the thought of her soft skin and supple body underneath mine made me forget about all the nonsense that took place earlier…I could feel myself grinning madly and quickly shook my head to dismiss the notion.

"Like that would ever happen…"

I grabbed my towel, slowly walked down the hall and once reaching the stairs, softly started walking upwards…I stopped in front of her door to see if I saw a light coming from under the door frame but everything was pitch black and I felt safe enough to continue to the bathroom…

"Shower time…"

I slightly closed the door and began to strip down; turning on the water as I adjusted it to the desired temperature I wanted…I then stepped in and allowed the warm water to wash over my naked form and melt away all my anxieties and wondering thoughts….

"Shoot! I'm out of toilet paper!"

I was looking desperately for a spare when I suddenly heard the sound of running water coming from the room next to mine…

"Is milly taking a shower up here?"

I placed my ear to the wall to get a better listen but couldn't really make out if she was saying anything due to the loudness of the pipes and the constant beating of water…

"Well, since I can't seem to find any toilet paper in here, I'll just have to go next door and get it from the cabinet in there. I better hurry though, I don't think my bladder can take much more of this!"

I made my way to my door and opened it….the sound was a little louder out in the hall then in my bedroom…

"We should really see if we can get someone to fix that faucet. It sounds terrible…"

I could feel myself starting to sweat as I quickened my pace to the spare bathroom. The door was slightly opened and I could see the steam rising to the ceiling due to the light seeping through…

"I'll be quick so I won't disturb her"

I opened the door and stepped inside. I had to stop and pause for a moment because I could feel myself trying to release the pressure growing in my stomach; I closed my eyes and did a quick pee dance as to stop myself from going all over the floor…I didn't even notice the shower curtain opening and two aqua-blue eyes glaring at me until it was too late…

"Ahhhh! Meryl! Wha-what are you doing in here?!"  
"Wha-VASH! Oh gosh! Oh no!"

He almost slipped trying to wrap the curtain around himself…I could feel the hotness of my blush radiating throughout my entire body as I stumbled backwards and dashed out the wet bathroom…

"Damn it! When did he get back?! And didn't he know how to lock a door!"

I fell into my room and used my leg to close the door…I tried to calm myself down as the image of a wet, slick Vash began surfacing into view…

"Oh gosh…did I just see that! I thought he was milly! Oh gosh!"

Blond hair plastered to a flushed face kept playing in my mind…his freshly cleaned body dripping and shimmering from the light hitting the multiple water droplets made my head fill like it was floating…I only got to see a slight glimpse of his torso before he wrapped the curtain around himself; causing me to freak out and him to scream…

"I'm so embarrassed…I'm glad he covered himself up before I could see…"

The clingy curtain still gave an outline of his fit, sculpted physique and I couldn't help but notice the huge bulge protruding from behind it…I didn't mean to look but it was practically screaming hello! I could feel the hotness of my blush deepen and the sudden urge to hide under a rock and die came creeping into my thoughts…

"How am I ever going to be able to look at him again without seeing the image of that!?"

I tried to push it out of my head by picturing him as an old, out of shape pervert who was balding…As soon as I felt my heart beat lesson and some of my composure coming back, a soft knock on the door made the uncomfortable hotness come back across my face and my heart jump into my throat…

"Meryl, are you ok? I'm sorry for screaming. I-I didn't mean to scare you. Meryl?"

Damn…what do I say?! I can't talk to him like this! I tried to get some words out of my mouth but the feeling of someone chocking me prevented me from saying anything…damn nerves! You weren't even in there for five seconds and you're having a breakdown! Ok so, he's hot and to see him like that just made you have multiple convulsions but get a grip damn it! I sat up and placed myself up against the bed as I once again tried to regain my composure to speak…

"Can I come in?"

"NO!"

I found myself shouting that louder than I anticipated but I didn't want him to see me like this…a moment of silence followed and then he began to talk again…

"Ok…I just-well I just wanted to see if you were alright"

"…..I'm *cough* I'm fine…."

He was silent again and only the sound of my heartbeat could be heard in my ears…I was about to say more when he beat me to it…

"Well, have a goodnight then…"

I could hear the guilt in his voice and it made me feel even more ashamed… I almost cried out for him to wait but, of course, I didn't and the sound of his footsteps making their way towards the stairs and slowly start to descend down flooded my room…

"Why couldn't I say anything…why do I always have to act so foolish when he is around me? I'm tired of being so damn weak!"

I hit my head on the bed and gave out a faint yelp; rubbing the place where my head made contact with the hard substance that should've been mattress…

"That hurt…stupid bedframe"

I stood up and the sudden urge to pee came back with a vengeance. How the hell did I forget to do the very thing I went into that bathroom for! I opened the door and hurried back towards the now vacant room…I gave out a sigh, walked up to the cupboard, picked up two rolls of toilet paper and then proceeded back to my bedroom…

"All that for some damn toilet paper…"

I shook my head as I entered the room and closed the door behind me once again…

"What's…all that noise?"

I woke up hearing screaming, feet running above my head and then a door slam…Vash must have done something to meryl again…those two always end up in the most awkward of situations…I groggily smiled to myself before falling back into my pillow and passing out….

"I didn't know a woman could blush that hard…"

I laid down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling wondering to myself if I had permanently scarred the poor girl for life…

"No…she didn't look as if she was afraid…more like she was shocked and embarrassed…"

Her big bluish-violet eyes widened to almost impossible size when she realized it was me she was looking at…it took everything in me to stop myself from practically falling over to the other side of the circular tub…thankfully I had that curtain to wrap around myself or she would have seen just how excited my body reacted to seeing her….which, by the way, I had no idea could get that aroused in only a matter of seconds…

"Now I'm never going to be able to look at her the same way again"

I shifted in the bed and continued thinking …this was becoming too confusing for me…I didn't want to see her as anything more than an colleague and even a friend, so… how did the feelings of delight and nervousness creep into the equation after all this time whenever I got around her? I was always so busy…busy, anxious and worried before I came here…I never had time to think about much of anything when knives was still homicidal…so as time passed and things started to calm down I began to notice her more and more…it wasn't this sudden rush of emotions but it was still there…the way she smiled or ran her fingers through her hair…how she became agitated whenever I teased her…how she was always caring and understanding…never losing faith in me or that damn brother of mine…how was it someone so small could come across being larger than life? She never knew how much I appreciated everything she has done or all that she was still doing…the more I thought of her…the more confused and uncomfortable I became…not because I was disgusted having her around or seeing her everyday but…but because of the way I was starting to feel…almost attached to her…

"Do I deserve to feel anything for anyone? All I've ever done was bring sorrow and pain to anyone I ever got close to so…is it right for me to desire something more out of this life than drifting aimlessly alone?"

Seeing her blushing face looking at my naked form brought a hot feeling back into my body…I shouldn't be getting so worked up over something I knew would never be able to manifest into anything more than a friendship…

"She's just a friend…just a friend…"

I rolled over and buried my face into the soft pillow…allowing it to engulf me as the sound of her sweet voice lulled me into the comfort of sleep…

For the first time in almost a month I was the first person to be in the kitchen before 6 am….it felt nice to brew myself some fresh coffee and sit down in the quiet room before the normal hustle and bustle of the day took hold. I didn't get the best of sleep last night, the replaying of him screaming and me running over and over again made me toss and turn the whole time until I woke up agitated and ready for a shower…

"I really hope he sleeps in today. I dread if I see his face so soon I'll have another panic attack and go dashing down the hall to my room…"

Suddenly the memory of a handsome man in a business suit, smiling tenderly at me crossed my mind…what the hell? How did I go from thinking about that goofball to seeing an image of Matthew in my head?

"What's in this damn coffee?"

I set the mug down and began looking over the ingredients, when a familiar voice called out my name in between a yawn and good morning…

"Morning milly" I smiled, "How did you sleep?"

"*rubbing eyes* fine I guess….I had the strangest dream about aliens and pancakes…"

Wow, leave it to milly to have random dreams about absolutely ridiculous topics that didn't make the slightest bit of sense…I wish I could sleep like that…I probably would wake up in better moods…

"Oh….well I guess I can see how that would be strange"

"*smile* YEA! So, did you know what you would want for breakfast? I still have leftovers from last night…"

That is probably why she had that stupid dream…it's a miracle she's standing here right now and not in bed hunched over from food poisoning...

"…..and then there is some pancake mix left over from the other day-"

"Pancakes will be fine. I'll help you make them."

She smiled at me and I smiled back…at least I know pancakes won't leave me with indigestion or terrible, uncontrollable gas….

"Do want some fruit mixed in?"  
"No, plain is fine"

"Do you think Mr. Vash would like some fruit in his batch?"

Hearing his name brought flashbacks of last night back into my head and I almost dropped the pancake batter…

"You ok?"  
"Yeah! Clumsy me, almost dropped the mix! I guess I'm just off this morning!"

She cocked her head to the side and gave me a confused look and I nervously laughed. She then shrugged her shoulders and continued preparing the skillet for the pancakes while cutting up some fresh bananas…thank goodness she didn't press the issue…speaking of issues…

"Milly, before I forget, I have this, ummm, date Friday night."

"What did you say Meryl?"

She had the water running in the sink and didn't hear a word I said…she quickly turned it off and nodded for me to begin speaking again…

"I said I have a-a date on Friday."  
"A DATE!?"

Her mouth gaped open and she almost dropped the spoon she was using to scoop out the pancake batter…

"*angry tone* is it THAT unbelievable I would get asked out on a date!?"

"N-no not at all Meryl! It's just…"  
"JUST WHAT?!"

"I mean…I didn't expect him to ask so suddenly…I didn't even know you two had made it past first base yet."

"What? What the hell are you talking about milly?"

"Vash of course!"

"VASH!"

She gave me another confused look as my expression turned into one of bewilderment and I began to rub my throbbing temple with my free hand; trying to find a simple way of explaining this…

"Vash is too dense to ever ask me out on a date let alone make it to first base with me."

"Then who-"  
"This guy I met at a bar the other night. His name is Matthew."

"*sharp gasp*so-so you're going to go meet up with some strange guy you just met Meryl!?"

I knew she was going to react like this. I really would've rather it be that mush for brains down the hall but hey, we can't always get what we wish for…

"Meryl?"

"Yes milly… I'm meeting up with this strange guy Friday, at the rodeo inn restaurant, by 8. I just wanted to let you know so you wouldn't be worried about me when the day comes."

"Are you sure it's safe?"  
"Of course it's safe! It's down the street for crying out loud! I've run into him on more than one occasion and I think I am a pretty good judge of character when I say I know this guy isn't going to try anything funny with me."

"Oh well then…I guess I should just say have a good time."

She turned back around towards the now over heated skillet and proceed to turn the knob down; waiting for the temperature to cool off before beginning the process of frying the pancakes…I really hate it when she shuts down like that…

"Milly, I promise it will be ok."  
"Do you think Eric and I should accompany you? I mean, I know he wouldn't mind."  
"No, I don't need you guys escorting me. I'll be fine. If you two have plans for that night than just go enjoy them and I'll see you when you get back in Friday."

She looked at me and I gave yet another reassuring smile…she halfheartedly smiled back and put the batter in the skillet; the sound of grease popping filling the small area…maybe I should just let her and Eric come with me….no, no I'll be fine on my own. It's just a meaningless date…the worst thing that could happen is it'll be awful and I will leave there feeling stupid and like I wasted my time. Plus, if he did try anything I had no problem with taking out one of my derringers and busting a cap in his ass…

"Ok, well, I'm happy for you Meryl! I know everything will work out fine! Do you have anything nice to wear?"

"Well, not…exactly-"  
"Then we should go shopping Friday morning! You'll need to look good on the first date you 've had in…how many years has it been Meryl?"  
"*grumbling* does it matter…"

"What did you say?"

"Six years…"  
"Wow, really!? It's been that long? I thought it was more recent than that!"

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious milly."  
"What's that Meryl?"  
"That I have no life."

"Oh you're so funny ma'am! I never said anything like that!"

"Uu uh, yea."

I gave her a solemn look and she smiled brightly…how she could be so smart in certain areas yet so dense in others amazes me…

"I think I hear footsteps coming from down the hall"

"Oh no!"

Before I could make a dash out the opposite door, a familiar blond, spikey haired man came dragging slowly into the kitchen. He looked like he had as rough of a night as I did….thankfully I didn't have to be at work until noon today…

"*groggily* Good morning…"  
"Morning Mr. Vash! Meryl and I are making pancakes; they should be ready shortly! I put some bananas in yours, so I hope you don't mind."

"Pan…cakes…"

He flopped down onto the seat closes to the door, placing his arms, and then head, down onto the table…this is my chance! I slowly began to sneak my way to the side door leading to the living room while they both were distracted…I was almost there too…until he sat up and looked at me with half dazed eyes, making my stomach churn and heart almost beat out of my chest…

"You don't want…any pancakes?"

All I could do was give a dumbfound look as he stared at me with those clueless aqua orbs…did he really think I was trying to sneak away from them because I didn't want any pancakes?! Did he even remember what happened last night!? The irritation was starting to set in as I chose to turn around and walk back to the sink to get some more coffee….damn idiot….

She became irritated; I could tell because she just turned around, walked back over to the coffee maker and poured herself a huge helping of the steaming liquid…was it something I said?

"Here you go Mr. Vash! Do you want some juice or milk to go with that?"

"We have juice?"  
"We sure do! It's not very sweet but it's still good!"

"Juice then big girl"

"Ok"

I started rubbing my eyes to try and get the last remaining traces of sleep out of them as I looked down at my plate. It's been a while since I had pancakes! Warms ones to boot! I smiled to myself, picked up my fork and knife and began diving into the tasty smelling meal …

"Oh man! It's been a while since I've had something this good! Thanks girls!"

"You're welcome Mr. Vash! It was Meryl's idea!"

I looked over to Meryl who was trying her best to ignore me. She continued to cut into her pancakes without even looking up…yep…some ones in a really bad mood this morning….

"Well thanks Meryl for thinking of this great meal"

She looked up at me for a split second before focusing back down on her food…well at least she gave me that little acknowledgement….too bad it was so damn quick if I wasn't already looking her direction I would have missed it! Damn, she could be so cold sometimes…

"Oh my! Is it 7:15 already! Well I guess I should go get dressed then! You two enjoy the rest of your breakfast!"  
*harmoniously* "Milly wai-"

Before we could finish our sentences, the door was moving back and forth and we both came to the unsettling realization we were now alone together…I looked back towards her but her head was already facing downwards, promptly ignoring me; after a few more minutes of awkward silence, with the only noise being that of utensils hitting plates and cups being set back down, I decided I had enough of the silent treatment. I cleared my throat and started to speak…

"Soooooo…you off today?"

"…"

"Like, not going into work?"

"…"

"Ooook…" *irritated half smile with twitch*

"….."

"Well *cough* if you were, I was going to ask if maybe…"

How annoying…I stopped to see if she was at least paying attention and noticed she lifted an eyebrow in response…ok, so she is listening to me…she couldn't just say something then?!

"Maybe what?"

Startled at the sudden sound escaping her mouth, she finally looked up at me but the first thing I noticed was how her body language was screaming for me to hurry up with the question so she could go back to her meal in peace. Why do I even try with this girl?

"Well, if you aren't too busy, I was going to ask if you could, possibly, help me patch up my work shirt for this security job I have tonight. The sleeve is partially torn open from this tussle I had with a drunk Monday night and…"

She was looking at me with that irritated expression again….what the hell was I saying that was warranting all these evil looks she was throwing at me?!

"You want me to what"

"Fix my work shirt that got tor-"

"DO I LOOK LIKE A PERSONAL MAID TO YOU!?"

"Of-*sweat drop* of course not Meryl!" I waved my hands in protest, "I just thought, since you sew so well and did such an incredible job on that old jacket I used to own, you would help me out aga-"

"NO! HELL NO! YOU, YOU SIMPLE MINDED IDIOT!"

With that, she slammed her hands down against the table, stood up and stormed out the kitchen; her eyes glossy from the threat of tears falling from them….I sat there, speechless. I didn't mean to….I didn't mean to offend her so badly…

"Meryl…"

That was all I could get out before I stood up myself, grabbed my sneakers and headed out the back door…confused and bewildered…

"Idiot! That stupid, empty headed idiot!"

I was so furious I didn't know what to do. For twenty minutes, I sat there on that worn out bench in the back of the restaurant fussing and yelling at the wind. I could feel my body tense up as his statements kept entering my mind like an annoying song that wouldn't go away…

_….if it was possible…help me patch up my work shirt for this security job I have tonight…_

_….you did such an incredible job on my old jacket…thought you would help me out…._

"Bastard! He only seen me as an old ninny who was to cook, clean and fix his crap as it became worn and useless! Well not this 'girl'!"

My head throbbed and my muscles ached thinking about his stupidity….he didn't even have the decency to ask how I slept or if I was ok! He just acted as if…as if nothing ever happened! I could feel tears trying to come up again but forced myself to keep my composure…

"I won't give him the satisfaction!"

A homeless man started looking back and forth and then back at me in awe as he realized that I was cursing and yelling to no one but myself. I am going crazy, even he notices it. Vash was going to drain every last ounce of whatever sanity I had left until I became nothing more than an old, absent minded nut job!

"NO, I can't let him do this to me! I can't let him drive me insane!"

I started hammering on the bench to try and relieve some of the tension…a raspy voice attempted to speak out to me as I continued pounding away at the dulled, cracked wood…

"Hey, missy! It will be alright! No one is worth you going crazy over. You're an attractive young lady; there are thousands of men out there who would be more than willing to appreciate a women like yo-"

"You're right…"

I stopped beating on the seat as I cut him off before he could finish…looking up to the sky as a sudden epiphany came to me…

"I'm a little hard of hearing, what did you say miss?"  
"I said your right."  
"Oh-I mean, of course I am!

I looked over at him and he was smiling at me with whatever teeth he had left in his mouth…I couldn't help but smile back as he laid himself back down and proceeded to place a newspaper above his head…

"Now if you would be so kind as to keep it down…I'm trying to get some shut eye over here…."

I shook my head and chuckled to myself….I can't believe it took a partially sober homeless man to make me realize just how silly I was actually acting. I had a date with a charming, articulate and not to mention, attractive, man this Friday and for me to be pinning over that dense vagabond was pointless. Ok, so I know I brought most of this anguish onto myself; falling in love with an infamous gunslinger and then desperately hoping he would notice me was just asking for failure…it was foolish to begin with but...I thought that maybe…If I could just get him to see how much he truly meant to me…I could convince him to finally open his heart and allow someone to genuinely care for him…but who was I kidding? He didn't so much as show that he liked me, so how could I possibly ever think he could actually…fall in love with me. It was my own fault I was sitting here feeling like an emotional wreak, crying over a man I should have never even fallen for to begin with…but it doesn't matter now. I would just move on and allow whatever was going to happen, happen. I won't feel bad anymore about accepting that date…or actually looking forward to it. I'm going to go and not careless about Vash the Stampede…I think I deserve to just be happy…for once.

"Hey Meryl girl, you alright darling? You're late coming back from your break; I thought you ditched us or something"

Meg was standing in the doorway looking at me worriedly. I gave her a slight smile and nodded yes…she waved for me to come on and I grabbed my small lunch bag and headed back inside…

_/Friday_/

"That dress looks wonderful on you Meryl! I really think you should buy it!"

"You don't think it's a little too…revealing?"  
"Not at all ma'am! These types of little black dresses are all the rave right now! He will love it!"

She was grinning so hard I felt compelled to go on and make the purchase…I thanked the clerk as she proceeded to hand me the dress along with the additional bags containing the new stilettoes and clutch I bought earlier…all that was left was to find some earrings that matched…

"Come again!"  
"Thanks!"

We waved goodbye and made our way down the street to the jewelry store…I hope this will be our last stop…I like shopping, don't get me wrong, but milly always felt she needed someone to try on every little thing until the whole allure of getting something new was replaced with dread and yearning for it to be over. The bell above the shop door rang loudly as we made our way inside...

"Oh my! Look Meryl! Isn't it lovely?"

She was staring at a blue pendent on display; she ran over to the owner, who was just about to greet us and started asking about it…

"Yes, it was hand crafted here in town and is going for a reasonable price of 1500 double dollars"

"Really…"

"*sweat drop* Yeahhh, well I'm really not trying to spend that type of money sir, plus I was just looking for some earrings actually"

Milly must be losing her mind if she thinks I'm about to pay for something that expensive! It's just a first date for crying out loud! I don't even know if I'll even seen him again after today and she got me out here looking at the most expensive stuff she could find! I got to hurry up and get out of here before she puts us into debt…

"Oh Meryl! How about these?"

She pointed to some simple yet, stunning, stud earrings…they were a light shade of blue with a hint of purple specks intertwined within; the purple only coming out when the light hit them in a certain angle…they really were beautiful…

"65"

"Wha-"

"If you would like them, they will cost you 65 double dollars."

"Oh ma'am! Get them! That's a great deal!"

I looked them over one more time and sighed…they are nice…and I guess 65 double dollars isn't too unbearable…

"Ok, I'll take them."

They both smiled as the owner grabbed the studs and relocated himself back behind the counter. I made sure to grab milly and bring her up front with me as to prevent her from picking out any more expensive items she would try to convince me into buying. I then paid the man the exact amount, grabbed the bag, nodded thank you and stared towards the door, all the while dragging milly behind me…

"Thank you again so much sir-ow Meryl! You're pulling too hard!"  
"Have a lovely weekend ladies!"

I nodded once again as we exited the store…finally! I can get home and actually start getting ready! How this took over 4 hours was beyond me…

"Are you excited ma'am? You're first big date in six years! I'm still so happy for you!"  
"Do you have to keep making me sound so pathetic milly?"

"Is that how you think I'm making you sound Meryl?"

"Yes, very"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to…"

"*sigh*It's ok milly. You can't help how I chose to spend my life up until now. Thanks for always being supportive of me."

"Anytime meryl!"

We continued home as the clock on my wrist watch hit 3 o'clock….only 5 more hours to go…

"She sure has been up there for a while, hasn't she?"

"Who, meryl?"

"Yeah."

"Oh that's because she has a date tonight!"

"A-a date?!"

I almost spilled my drink in disbelief, as the big girl started giggling at the sudden reaction…since when did Meryl go out on dates!? Didn't she have better things to do? And plus, who the hell was she meeting up with were it would take her damn near 3 hours to get ready?! My thoughts were cut short as the sound of Meryl's voice could be heard calling out from her bedroom….

"Hey milly! Can you come her for a sec?"  
"Here I come ma'am!"

The big girl smiled at me and made her way up the stairs to see what it was the smaller one wanted…I kept my eyes fixated up the stairs in the direction of her room…waiting to see if they would be exiting out of it anytime soon….

"Ok, there! Now turn around and let me see!"

I turned to face her and the smile on her face grew ten times larger than I ever seen it before…I could feel the hot sensation of a blush start to form on my face and I immediately looked down to the floor…

"Oh Meryl! You look stunning!"

She looked as if she was about to cry as she ran up and hugged me hard…I could feel the room start spinning, indicating she was hugging me a little too tight and I began to struggle…

"*muffled tone* Milly! Let-let me go! I can't-BREATH!"  
"Oh, sorry Meryl!"

She set me down and quickly wiped her eyes…I didn't know me getting dressed up would cause her to get so emotional…

"Is he picking you up?"

"No, it's just down the street so I told him I would meet him there."

"Really, he didn't offer to walk you or anything?"  
"*smile* Of course he did milly! I just turned him down because I felt it was unnecessary. Besides, I would rather he be waiting there in anticipation for my arrival. It's more interesting that way"

I gave her a wink and she looked at me as if I was crazy…I just smiled and walked over to the dresser to put the last touch ups on my hair and makeup…

"Well, if you say you'll be ok…"

"I'll be fine Milly, I promise"

I rubbed a dash of my best perfume onto my wrists, behind my ears and neck, picked up my heels and proceeded towards the door…

"Well I guess this is it! Wish me luck!"

She ran in front of me to open the entrance for me instead. She gave one last teary smile as I made my way into the hall and turned to go down the steps….

I was still sitting there in the living room, confusion written all over my face when I heard the door to her room open and I jumped up…my eyes grew wide as she made her way down the steps into the living room; I didn't know if it was the way she had her hair half pinned up with loose curls, the enhancing makeup she graciously put on her face as to not over power her natural beauty or the clingy, slightly low cut black dress that accentuated her curves, that caused my body to lose all function and stand there in the middle of the living room frozen. My eyes transfixed on the gorgeous figure standing before me, I could feel my cheeks grow hot as she looked at me and smiled…my mouth still unable to say anything and legs unwilling to move…

"Um hi…"

She slightly blushed and it took everything in me not to grab her and force her not to go…to make her stay here with me so I could just marvel at everything she was…who the hell was she going to see….looking like this?!

"She looks great doesn't she!"

Milly was now standing next to her with a huge smile plastered across her face…my eyes looked over to her then back to Meryl but my mouth still wasn't allowing me to say anything…

"Well, I better get going then. Goodnight milly. Vash"

She looked up at me but I was still deep into my thoughts…replaying her coming down the stairs over and over again as if to engrave the image permanently into my subconscious. She then slipped into her heels…damn she was wearing heels too?!...walked past me and made her way to the door…I stayed with my back to her as she opened the door and then softly closed it. I could feel my mind screaming for me to do something but my legs still wouldn't function correctly…it took milly to give me a good shake for the spell I was under to finally break and to snap back into reality…

"Mr. Vash! Are you ok? You're scaring me!"

"Milly I…who was she going to see…"

I looked at her and she gave me an empty reply…

"A man I am guessing. Who, I don't know"

"You-You don't know this guy?!"

Suddenly I could feel my heart rate quicken and agitation set in, as her response to my question settled into my head and caused me to reanalyze the situation...

"What do you mean you don't know him?! You mean to tell me he's just some random Joe she picked up off the street and decided to go out on a date with?!"

"With the exception of the street part, yea, that is pretty much what happened."

"Exception to the street part?!"

"Yea, she said she meet him at a bar…"

"BAR!?"  
"Yea…I thought it was strange too and very unlike her but she reassured me everything would be ok-"

She was finishing her sentence when I grabbed my coat and was making a dash towards the door…what the hell was she thinking picking up some random ass guy from a BAR?! Was she that damn desperate or did she want to get raped!? If she wanted to go get a bite to eat with the opposite sex she could have just asked me, damn it! I was half way out the door when strong hands began dragging me back inside…

"No Mr. Vash! I promised her I wouldn't do anything to ruin this for her and that includes letting you interfere! If she says she'll be fine, then she'll be fine!"

"Like hell she'll be! Let go Milly, don't you see how foolish this is?! What if she gets kidnapped or something!? We wouldn't even know the first place to look!"

"I do know where she is Mr. Vash! Please don't go mess this up for her! Why do you all of a sudden care so much?"

The last sentence made me stop in my tracks and turn to look at her…her expression being one of frustration and genuine curiosity…

"…..It's not what you think milly, it's just…well….you guys are my friends and if anything was to happen to you I wouldn't know what I would do."

I looked straight into her eyes and could tell she was fighting to believe me…it wasn't that obvious that Meryl was starting to get to me in a way I never intended for her to, was it? I gave her one more reassuring glare and could see her slowly coming around to trusting me…

"Well, as a friend to another friend, you shouldn't try to mess up another one of your friend's chances at happiness. She's getting older Mr. Vash and whether we like it or not, she doesn't always want to stay Miss Meryl Stryfe forever. We have to let her go and find her own piece of something…so she can feel like her life is still worth living…"

"But…"

She gave me a stern look and I could feel my body grow heavy, as if it just gave up, and allowed her to pull me back inside. As much as I hated to admit it…Milly was right…and as long as I continued trying to view her as only a friend and nothing more, I couldn't get in the way of her trying to find some form of happiness…because she was just that…a friend…and I couldn't make her feel things towards me that I possibly was starting to feel towards her….

"I'm sorry milly…I don't know what came over me…"

"It's ok Mr. Vash…we all have to learn to let go sometimes."

"Milly…have I ever told you how great of a friend you are? Meryl and I are quite lucky to have someone like you in our lives."

I smiled at her warmly and she blushed slightly…

"Oh well, I'm flattered you would say something like that Mr. Vash. I really appreciate it!"

She gave me a big smile and I made my way back to the fold up couch in the living room…I slumped down onto it before continuing our conversation…

"Sooo…I thought you had a date tonight as well milly. Did Eric cancel on you?"

She was finishing putting the locks back on the door and answered...

"Well, something came up where he had to go visit his parent's in December immediately, so we will have to reschedule for another time once he gets back. It's ok though! I had a whole bunch of movies set a side just in case something like this happened!"

"You're always thinking ahead aren't you big girl?"  
"Yeah, I guess I am!"

She sat down next to me and proceeded to pull out some videos from under the coffee table…

"I invited your brother over as well!"

"You did what?"  
"He should be here any minute now. I thought he would be lonely in that big ol' apartment of his and so invited him over so we could all watch movies together! Is that going to be ok with you Mr. Vash?"  
"Of course *smile* that's great milly!"

Since when did ol' sour butt enjoy hanging out, watching movies with people? I guess he really has mellowed out…well…as much as can be expected from a person like knives anyway. I then heard a hard knock on the door and Milly jumped up to see who it was. Once it was confirmed that it was knives, she opened the door and allowed him to come inside. Well, isn't he dressed up nice for such a casual occasion…I guess he didn't know we were just going to be watching movies…unless he thought….

"I didn't know you were going to be here too, brother."

"Nice to see you too knives!"

I slightly laughed and he just shrugged his shoulders, indicating he could careless…but I knew better…

"Well I'm glad to have such great company tonight! I'll go get us some popcorn while you two pick out a movie you would like to watch!"

She left us alone while she entered the kitchen to get us some refreshments and snacks. He walked over and sat down next to me then started looking through the variety of videos…the smell of his cologne filling my nostrils and making me chuckle silently…wow…he even wore cologne…

"What are you laughing at?"

He shot me an evil glare and I just shook my head as to say nothing…he went back to looking at the videos as milly arrived back with the drinks and popcorn….

"So have you two decided?"

"I-"

"Yeah. Let's do this one."

He cut me off as he handed her some movie with aliens in it; as I looked closer it suggested that the movie was somehow about aliens romancing humans…what the hell? I tried my hardest not to bust up laughing right there…why would he pick that? I would never take him for the romantic type…

"Ok! Let's try it!"

She stood up and popped the movie into the VHS player…we watched as the screen started to fizzle slightly and then regain its focus as previews began to play across it. I slyly looked over at the two figures sitting closely in the dark as they shared the bowl of popcorn and couldn't contain the slight smile that crept across my face. I could see the screen grow dark again as the feature film began to play…I closed my eyes and allowed my thoughts to drift to the small girl in the fitting black dress…who was now in the presence of another man….

"Matthew…you are too much"

I caught myself gazing yet again at the beautiful woman who sat across the table from me…the way the candlelight made her flawless skin glow like a radiant amber to her sweet aroma that engulfed my every senses…everything about her was perfect…I couldn't have asked for a better date…

"Matt…please stop staring at me. You're making me nervous."

"I can't help it…I never laid eyes on a lovelier creation in all my days being here on gunsmoke…I feel like the luckiest man alive, just being able to be here with you"

The loud snort and nervous laughter took me by surprise. Even like this she was still extremely charming. I was utterly impressed on how well she got fixed up when I first caught sight of her by the entrance…I was already here by the time she arrived and as the hostess brought her back to our table I couldn't contain the huge smile that crossed my face again as I rose to greet her. The little black dress definitely hugging all the right places like I thought it would. She wasn't overly endowed…probably landing somewhere between a large B, small C cup…and her posterior was well toned and stuck out to a desirable distance...all in all, she was very well proportion for her small stature. Her hair pinned up allowed me to also see every angle of her…the sultry makeup that enhanced her already present beauty to the splashes of color coming from her earrings down to her light blue stilettoes, it all worked so well. I was still amazed that no man had come along and swept her away by now…well, I guess I shouldn't be too worried about that…if someone had I wouldn't be able to be here with her…just like this…

"How is your meal coming along sir? Madam?"

"Fine thank you"

She also smiled with approval…

"Would you care for some more wine?"

"Meryl?"  
"Oh, no thank you. I think I'll just settle for some water instead."

"Very well. I'll be back with your water shortly. As for you sir?"

"I'll take another glass of the sauvignon Blanc please"

"Alright. I'll return with both."

The waiter left us and I tried to strike up a conversation that wouldn't lead her to another set of uncontrollable fits of laughter…

"Do you get out much?"

"I don't think I quite understand the question."

"What I'm trying to say is do you travel?"

"Well, I used to but…not anymore."

"You seemed hesitant to answer that. Is there some particular reason you don't travel anymore?"

"Well no, not really. To put it bluntly there isn't really anything out there to travel to. I mean…the only desirable places located on this barren planet are the ones like where we are now or major cities like December, New Neo Jersey or Little Arcadia. Everything else is just desert for as far as the eyes can see."

"You have a valid point. There is nothing on this planet. But if there was a way to go above it…to see it from the stars perspective…would you do it?"

"If that form of technology still existed today I probably would but, that is just a fantasy all of us here have had at some point in our lives."

She continued nibbling away at her salmon and I could see the topic was making her somewhat somber, so I believe it is time to liven things up…

"Come dance with me."

"Excuse me?"

"I said…"

I stood up and walked over to her side of the table; gently grabbing her hand and lifting her up…

"Dance with me"

A her face flushed to several shades of red as I guided her to the dance floor and pulled her close; as I began the dance, I could feel her body tensing up under me and I leaned down and softly spoke in her ear…

"Relax. I won't hurt you. Just let the music guide you and I'll do the rest."

She looked up at me and shyly smiled as she began to relax…allowing me to wrap my arm around her waist as she placed one of her hands on my shoulder as the other stayed intertwined in mine. She gently laid her head against my chest as we continued, our graceful movements taking us to a place where no one else existed but us….we stayed like this for about twenty minutes before I looked down at her to see if she was sill ok. She looked back and gently smiled, her blue-violet eye shining as the soft light danced across them…I muttered something under my breath; debating within myself if I should kiss her tinted lips. There was nothing to lose and if she pulled away I would understand. I then began moving my face closer to hers, lessening the distance until I felt nothing but her lips between us…she was hesitant at first…but as I continued to press my mouth against hers, gliding my tongue against her lips as to allow me entry, she finally broke down and allowed the moment to take place. I kissed her slowly…savoring the taste of her mouth…the feeling of her tongue engaging with mine…just taking her all in; I began to deepen the kiss, placing my hand behind her neck as to draw her in closer, until she broke away to catch her breath…she was panting as she looked at me, her face darkening yet again to a deeper shade of red, and motioned for us to go back. I obliged and walked back to our table; the check was waiting there for us as she sat back down and I pulled my wallet from my suit pocket, opened it, and placed one of the credit cards inside. I then leaned down and whispered something into her ear which created another shade of red to blaze across her beautiful face, causing me to smile warmly. I sipped my wine and waited as the waiter took the check and ran the payment, never taking my eyes off her…I just wanted to explore more of her…to see her in the way my mind was envisioning her being…I could feel my body grow tense with anticipation and I quickly grabbed the pin to sign the receipt. I then grabbed my coat, reached out my hand to help her rise and then headed towards the exit of the restaurant. I looked back towards her, waiting to see if she still wanted to do this and she smiled lightly, reassuring me. I proceeded to open the door and allow her to pass; walking in the direction of my black Maserati and entering into it as I started the engine and began down the darkened streets towards my home….

A sudden cold chill awoke me…readjusting my eyes to the darkness, I looked over to the clock on the end table…

"3:15"

I laid my head back against the couch and then looked over at the two passed out figures…Milly's head was laying comfortably against knives shoulder with his head placed on top of hers…both resting soundly as the faint hums of their breathing could be heard. I wouldn't have known if she came back in yet…I would just have to wait until morning to see; I quietly stood up, doing my best not to awaken the sleeping pair besides me, and tiptoed back to my bedroom…

"I don't know how they do it…my neck is killing me."

I entered the room and closed the door…still trying to be extremely quiet while doing so. I took off my shirt and jeans, pulled the covers back, and crawled into bed….allowing the soft material to lull me back to sleep….

All I could remember was dancing…my cheek pressed against his firm chest as I became lost in his embrace…everything after that seemed like an endless dream….his kiss….him whispering into my ear to come back with him….me driving away in his car….and then winding up here, lying next to him…in this big ass house, in his equally big ass bed…staring up at the ceiling, as his naked form stirred slightly; rolling over to his left side. I couldn't place were my clothes went…I just knew they weren't on me…I turned my eyes over to look at his scar less back….images of the nights events coming back into view, as I laid their silently…all I knew was his mouth felt good against mine…he tasted good…he smelt good….and as he laid me down and began taking off his dress shirt and tie, he looked good….the firmness of his touch as he began to undress me…placing kisses where ever skin became visible…felt extremely good…I never pictured myself being here…in a man's bed that I only met earlier this week...visualizing his naked body on top of mines…exploring me and making me call out his name…yet still wishing…it was someone else….someone taller…blonder…with a lot more scars…but a lot less brains. I breathed heavily through my nose at the irony of it all and then turned back up to face the ceiling…I didn't know how I felt…a part of me was happy I came back with him…feeling his warmth radiate around me, gave me a sense of comfort I hadn't felt since I broke up with my very first and very last boyfriend almost eight years ago…the experience, coupled with work, made it easy not to jump back into another relationship but another part of me….the part that was still pinning over that empty headed outlaw, felt like a heavy weight had just come crashing down; that I couldn't lift off and could never take back. A sudden sadness washed over me as the memory of his handsome face appeared once I closed my eyes…I shouldn't be here…but, at the same time, I should be…why did everything always have to be so damn complicated!? Why is it that now I'm falling for one guy, I'm still secretly longing for the other? I placed my hand over my face as I tried to rub away the throbbing that was starting to form inside my head…I didn't notice when he rolled back over…nor when he started to look at me with those topaz colored eyes…the only thing that let me know he was awake was the sudden sound of his deep voice saying good morning….

"Good morning" I answered back.

I was now on my side looking at him…his haunting eyes looking me up and down as a familiar warmness tinged at my cheeks as he stopped to smile at me…he really was handsome…stood about 6 foot with soft, jet black hair cut short…his lightly tanned skin detailing his unique features and the contrast between his unusually dark hair and golden eyes…he was in great shape...I could see each well-defined muscle as he laid there with his head propped up against his hand…what really amazed me was how smooth his skin really was….I didn't see a scar, cut, knick or even graze anywhere on his body…even I had at least one slight scar on my left arm from when I fell down as a child but from the looks of things…from his house, to his cars, to his clothes, to how well manicured and polished he was, I could tell he came from wealth….so he probably hadn't had to work hard a single day in his life…which made sense why his body was so well preserved…but I also knew he still worked…probably some CEO of one the big companies around here, than a actually blue collar worker like myself. Why he would be interested in a lowly, working class girl I couldn't understand…seeing all that he had, how charming and irresistible he could be, I knew he could have any well-to-do vixen he wanted…all he had to do was turn on the smile, show a little skin and they would virtually be throwing themselves at his feet…yet…something told me he wasn't the type of guy who would fall for a woman who acted like that at all….

"How did you sleep?"

"Fine. How about yourself"

"I think that was the best sleep I had in a long time and to top it off, I got to wake up next to you"

I blushed harder this time and couldn't contain my widening smile. Even in the morning he flirted…if he doesn't stop his constant bombardment of compliments soon, I think I'll die from embarrassment….

"Umm, well, I don't really know what to say after that"

"Then don't say anything at all. Your presence is enough for me"

Oh gosh make him stop…I don't think I can take much more of this... I was then greeted by a hand gently rubbing the side of my right thigh…producing jolts to circulate throughout my body as it begun to breakout with goose bumps from the tenderness of his touch…he closed the distance between us as I could feel his warm breath blowing against my ear, causing my body to jump again as he moved his hand from my thigh, to up my back and gradually down again. He then proceeded to kiss the side of my neck, softly and then more forcefully as he began to suck at the sensitive skin…making my body melt and my mind drift back to a place of nothingness all over again…

"Where the hell could she be…"

It was 3 in the afternoon and there was still no sign of Meryl. I had been sitting in the same spot on the couch, trying to watch TV, since knives left to go home around 11 and milly decided, after she showered, that she wanted to go window shopping for a while around 12. I was starting to lose patience, when the thought of those two and this morning lightened my mood a bit, a smile formed on my face while remembering back to the interesting event…. when I woke up and was making my way to the bathroom, I found the occupants of the living room still there on the couch but in a much more…incriminating position. Knives had somehow wrapped himself around milly with his head buried in her breast while she had one leg wrapped around his back. Now if I was an evil person, like say knives, I would have snapped a picture and kept it as propaganda against him if he ever went into another one of his lunatic mantras about how all humans had to die and they were the scum of the universe and yada, yada, yada, same old, same old but since I wasn't that type of person…I just snapped a shot to keep for the sheer humor in it…I mean the expression on his face was priceless! After the excitement from that passed, I made my way up to the bathroom but stopped in front of Meryl's room when I remembered that she had gone out on a date and I didn't see if she ever made it back safely or not. I gently tapped on the door, hoping to get an answer, but nothing happened. I tried again, louder this time, but still there was no reply, so, I took it as if she was in one of her deep sleeps and should just peek inside to take a look… what I saw, or better yet didn't see, made me almost collapse to the floor. There it was, her bed, but with no one in it! I looked around her room to double check to see if maybe she was in the shower and just got up early and made it but when I saw the bathroom door open and it vacant, I panicked again. I ran out of her room and started checking everywhere I thought she could be but after I was through, she was still nowhere to be found. Of course, by then, milly and knives woke up due to all my running and screaming. I let them know what was going on and they told me to get a grip and just wait for her to call, this, in turn, enraged me further and I began to lecture them about the dangers of just sitting there idly not taking action, how wrong it was for them not to be worried about her and how we had to go find her! Knives just gave me an irritated look and said he was going home, while milly smiled at me and tried to reassure me that she was fine and could take care of herself….so that was how they wound up leaving and I was sitting here…flipping through channels, waiting for her to walk through the door but it had already been three hours and I could feel my nerves starting to go wild again as all kinds of scenarios of what could have happened to her or where she could be, was running through my head like the changing channels. I was going through a number of emotions as I looked over at the clock and seen it was now 3:25; I don't know if I can take this much longer…if she didn't come through that door in the next ten minutes I was going to go to find her! Damn all that "she can take care of herself" nonsense. My muscled tensed as I continued to look at the clock, the minutes slowly ticking by as I stayed fix to it. 3:30…still no Meryl…3:31….still no Meryl…it edged its way closer to the ten minute mark and I tightened my grip on the remote...as it hit 3:35, I stood up, threw the device on the couch and began to make my way to the door…

"Hell with this, I'm going to go find her"

I grabbed my spare keys, put on my shoes, turned the knob and swung the door open and as I looked down, there she was… bent over with her keys in her hand, looking up at me; her hair now falling loosely around her shoulders, heels in one hand, keys in the other…she stood up and tried to pull down her dress as best as she could as she opened her mouth to say something…

"Vash I-"

Before she could finish her sentence I grabbed her and pulled her close…squeezing her closer as all the worries and terrible images started to leave my subconscious now that she was back home. I could feel the tears coming as I chocked up and spoke…

"I thought-I thought something terrible happened to you...Meryl, I was so worried…"

I kept repeating the last phrase and could feel her heart beating rapidly as I continued to embrace her…I didn't care if she was uncomfortable or if she yelled and punched me once it was over…I just wanted to hold her…hold her and not let her go….I almost lost my mind worrying about her….

"Vash, I'm sorry…I-I didn't mean to worry you so much"

I slightly pulled away and looked at her small form, her face riddled with guilt. My eyebrows burrowed as I looked away and broke the embrace…

"Where were you? Why are you just now getting back?"

"I-I lost track of time-"  
"How the hell do you lose track of time until almost 4 in the afternoon?!"

"Well, I mean…I don't-don't know how, I just did!"

"*raised voice* what the hell Meryl! First I find out you barely even knew this guy and then you come back in the evening the next day!? Do you regard safety so little that you would purposely put yourself in harm's way! What would've happened if he was a mass murderer or serial rapist! I couldn't have done anything for you because I didn't even know what the asshole looked like or what type of car he was driving or anything! This was so stupid Meryl!"

I slammed my fist against the wooden frame of the door and she jumped back. I was getting angry…how could she be making me so damn angry….

"Vash, look, I'm sorry, I really am. I made a bad decision on my part leaving you in the dark about this but I didn't think you really needed to know."

"Oh, so you will tell milly about it but leave me clueless because you didn't feel like it would be something I needed to know!?"

"Damn it Vash, she is my best friend!-"  
"So what! Do I matter so little to you as a person that you couldn't at least tell me where you were going so I could know you were safe?! You couldn't even pick up a damn phone and call! I can't believe you! Of all the selfish, childish-"

I was shaking…why was I shaking so uncontrollably…did she not know what she just did to me…did she not even care enough to think of my feelings… I had to get away from her…before I did something I would regret…

"Vash-"  
"No, just-I need you to stay away from me for right now."

I looked up at her again and she was trying to reach out to grab my shirt but I aggressively pulled away…

"Don't touch me! Just…just leave me alone."

I could see the hurt in her eyes as she backed away…I just looked away and pushed past her but she grabbed a hold of my hand to stop me…

"Please Vash! I didn't want you to react like this! Please don't leave because of me…"

I kept my face down and she squeezed my hand tighter…pleading with me…

"I'll do anything Vash…just please…don't leave…"

"Why should I stay? You just proved I don't matter much to you…not even as a friend"

"Vas-"

I grabbed her hand forcefully and pinned her against the porch wall; I was losing it…all the anger…all the pain, was starting to bubble up and I was having a hard time controlling it. I looked at her face as I squeezed her wrist tighter….her soft cries resonating in my ears, as I began speaking to her in a monotone manner..

"You want this Meryl…you want me to hurt you? Just let me leave…let me go so I can regain my composure again..."

I then let her go and walked down the steps…hurrying in the direction of Knives apartment and the various bars littered throughout and past that area…my cheeks were wet…the tears were flowing freely as I continued down the street until I knew she could no longer see me. I never looked up…I just kept walking…

I buried my face in my pillow and cried…cried from the overload of emotions weighing on me…crying because in a million years I would have never expected him to act so out of character. How could he be like that? I never seen him so angry….so different…my puffy eyes looked at the slight bruises forming around my wrists, his strong hands almost crushing them under his grip...

"You jerk! Why did you suddenly act like what I do in my life effects yours!?"

I wanted to scream….why do I always end up crying, angry or frustrated whenever I dealt with him? I had no idea he would take the news of me going on a simple date so out of control…the only person I felt needed to know was milly. He should have listened to her…she said I was ok…I did call! I called her and let her know where I was and that I wouldn't be home until late…she knew I wasn't in any grave danger yet he didn't want to see it or listen to her…so now here we are, distraught and enraged at one another…for what? Because I didn't want to tell him I was going to be at a man's house overnight? Because I wanted to keep some things to myself and not feel the guilt of having to explain them to him? If I didn't love him so much it wouldn't matter. I'm so confused! He doesn't even like me! I wasn't his girl! To over react the way he did would be something people in a relationship would do….but we're not…the love I felt for him was one sided….so why did he act like I had done something so wrong!?

"Argggggggahhh! Damn you Vash for being so damn complicated! Why can't I just get you!?"

I pounded the pillow one last time before collapsing on top of it….I was tired…I could feel it in my whole body…I cried so much, I couldn't anymore. I was just laying here limp and depressed…everything hurt. If I had the strength, I would have wrapped by body in a ball and stayed like that…but I knew I didn't even have the energy to move my head, let alone bring my legs to up to my chest. My eyes were growing heavy and I could feel myself drifting to sleep when I heard a faint knock on the door…

"Meryl? Can I come in?"

"….sure"

I heard the creak of the hinges as she stepped inside the room and sat herself down on the edge of the bed…I didn't move…only shifting my head slightly so I could see and breath better…

"Meryl, I know you're not in the best of moods...but I think you might benefit from opening up about what happened today."

She was really worried about me. When she arrived home not twenty minutes after Vash's and my altercation, I was already in my room with the door locked…balling profusely. She tried to talk to me then but I kept yelling for her to go away…I didn't want anyone to be around me, I was hysterical. I still didn't know what to say or how to say it…it all seemed so senseless; the entire situation shouldn't have even taken place…but it did…and now I had to muster up the strength to explain what happened to milly; I was hesitant at first but remembered, what was the point? She would poke and probe me until I finally told her everything anyways so saying it right now wouldn't make much of a difference…

"….alright….."

She sat quietly as I began speaking with what little voice I had left. I told her everything; from his embracing me and almost crying….to his shift in demeanor and act of coarseness soon after and how he stormed off and didn't disclose when he would ever be coming back. I could feel my voice grow weaker and more strained with each word I spoke….she never interrupted me once…just allowing me to speak until I came to my own conclusion and just laid there being silent once more. She sat there for a moment absorbing everything I said…finally taking a deep breath after the long silence, and speaking…

"That must have been difficult for you…being so helpless like that. I'm sorry ma'am. I'm sorry things ended up for you this way after your date last night; you didn't deserve it."

She kept searching her brain for the right words…her sadden expression painted all over her face…

"I tried to tell him…that you were fine, like you asked me too. I just couldn't convince him to believe me. He really thought something happened to you; I know Mr. Vash's heart was in the right place…I just think he couldn't control all of the strong emotions he was experiencing at the time. I think if you both just give it time, you'll be able to speak with each other again and this thorn in your friendship will work itself out. For now, rest and feel better."

She gave me a nod and stood up. I watched her turn out the light and gradually close my bedroom door, the click indicating she was no longer there…she was right….if we just give it time….

"…..Vash…."

I closed my eyes one last time as I allowed the heaviness of sleep to come down upon me…taking me away to dreams of a different time….and another place….

"Hey! Get up!"

I was being shook…I could make out the sound of a man's voice but couldn't place it….as the buzz from the alcohol started to wear off it was replaced with the pounding of a headache and sensitivity of a hangover. The sound of his voice was becoming clearer as I began to wake up; I shielded my eyes and began to focus…knives…it was knives yelling…

"How the hell did you pass out on the door with your keys still in the lock?! How many damn drinks did you consume?!"

With every word he said, the stronger and more violent my headache became. I needed him to shut up…I grabbed onto my head and started to talk slowly…trying not to slur my words…

"Knives-can I *clears throat* can I just go to my room…I have a hangover and your voice is killing me…"

He growled at me, pulled me inside and slammed the door…another painful kick proceed to attack my brain and I held onto my head again….how many drinks DID I have? I remember going to the bar…ordering several shots of whiskey and then another set….and another…and another until the whole world started to spin and everything was numb. I don't know how I got to knives apartment and I don't remember passing out on the door with my hand up holding my keys...he left me on the entryway floor lying there; the feeling of nausea slowly kicking in. I tried to put my hands under me and push myself up but I was still too weak to do even that….I was starting to taste bile rising up my throat and I motioned for knives to help me…

"Bath…room!"

"What?!"

"I need to…g-go to the…bathroom!"

I put my hand over my mouth, trying my hardest not to go all over his carpet. He seen the expression on my face and quickly lifted me up and escorted me to the bathroom…thankfully I made it to the toilet before I started vomiting…

"Your pathetic you know that. How you would allow yourself to get so damn drunk you can't even function, marvels me."

My head was still looming over the toilet and I let out another round of chunky, liquid substance…it felt like my insides where going to come up. I waited a second to see if I was going to vomit again, then flushed down an entire three days' worth of food and fell backwards. Lying on the tile floor as the wave of nausea finally subsided…I felt like hell two times over….

"You better not get any of that crap on my rugs or floor!"

"Alright…"

He was staring at me from the doorway before he walked back into the living room…I tried once again to get myself up but this time my headache knocked me back down…well…at least the tile floor felt good against my sweaty back…

"Here"

I opened my eyes and he was standing over me with some sort of beverage. I reached up and grabbed it from him, placing it on my chest as I continued to lie there…annoyed, he reached down, yanked me upwards and laid me against the bathroom wall…

"Now drink the damn drink, it's supposed to make you feel better."

I looked it over; it was almost the same color as the bile I just flushed down the toilet…smelt almost as bad too…

"How is this going to make m-"  
"Just drink it idiot! It's for hangovers"

I cringed my face upwards, pinched my nose and allowed the lukewarm concoction to slid down my throat….I handed him the cup once I finished and sat there waiting for it all to come back up…miraculously it didn't but the nasty ass after taste was getting to me regardless…

"Now just sit there and let it settle. If you move and barf it all up, I'm going to make you lay in it."

I shook my head yes…still waiting to see if it really would come up, as he proceeded to leave me there to go back to whatever it was he was doing. I wonder what that stuff was made of…all I need now was some aspirin for this damn headache. I closed my eyes again and laid there motionlessly…all this trouble over a damn girl…why did I let her get to me like this anyway? She was a grown woman…she could do whatever the hell she wants to…so why did I feel so betrayed? Why did I worry myself to a stupor when she wasn't there like I would have wanted her to be? My headache throbbed more violently with the memory of the last couple days…all we ever did was argue…if people didn't know us any better, they would think we were some old, unhappy, married couple…it's amazing we are even friends but, with all these damn emotions popping up out of nowhere, I just seemed to be complicating matters. If I would just get a grip, then I wouldn't be sitting here having to deal with things like this…getting drunk just to calm my nerves…she was going to be the death of me…I just knew it…

"I shouldn't have hurt her though…I shouldn't have let myself get so angry that I lashed out…"

I still saw her frightened face as I hovered over her…all the hurt and rage seeping through where I could no longer contain the frustration I felt; I hope I didn't damage anything in her wrists. The feeling of guilt came back to me and I slouched further down the wall…I should go apologize…but how could I? Would she even want to see me? Or would I just make matters worse…I didn't even know how to approach it…

/Just say sorry, damn it! I'm tired of hearing your whining in my head! /

My eyes shot open and I looked around to see if he was standing there…no…he was saying this telepathically….

"I don't know how to say it though…"

/ you open your mouth, say it and then let that be that! Stop being so damn annoying /

Words of wisdom from none other than the hater of all things, Knives. He probably hasn't apologized about anything to anyone since he can even remember yet he thinks he can tell me how to go about doing so….didn't he know how unpredictable Meryl can be? If I let her, she would exact revenge on me the moment I walked in the door to say sorry…if she didn't shoot me, she would probably decimate me with some sort of pot or something…I winced at the thought….

"She could be so damn evil at times…"

/ I hope she chops off your testicles /

"WHAT!?"

/ thought that would shut you up /

A sweat drop dripped down my face; by reflex, my hand went to cover my scrotum…I'm not letting him near me anymore….

"That's just sick knives"

/ *laugh* idiot /

I found the strength to finally pull myself up onto my feet. I had to hold on to the sink for leverage while my legs got use to the feeling of blood being pumped into them again and then I looked in the mirror…she got me looking like hell twice over too…

"If I'm going to go back over there, then I should at least shower and shave"

Careful not to fall on my ass, I slowly walked over to the door, holding on to everything I could grab to help me do this, out into the walkway, past knives room and into my own…I proceeded to open the closet to find something to wear…

"Maybe I should wear something nice…torn jeans and a t-shirt may not cut it; at least if I look presentable she might take my apology seriously *pause* at least I hope so…"

A vision of her shooting me came to mind…I once again reached for my privates….

"As long as I still had my balls intact, I think I can handle a gunshot wound"

I winced at the thought; shacking the image out of my head and went back to finding some clothes…

"Jeans…more jeans…old ass work shirts…I need to get rid of this, when the hell did I get this? No, no….damn I need to get some new outfits…"

After five minutes of searching I came across something half decent and threw it on the bed. I went back into the hallway, opened the spare cabinet and pulled out a towel…

"Here's to hoping she's in a good mood today…"

I then walked back to the bathroom, turned the water on and shut the door.

"You're funny Mr. Matthew!"

"Just call me matt"

I smiled at the unusually large woman and she gave a bright smile back. We had been sitting in the kitchen getting to know each other for the past hour; I didn't mind it though, I was in no hurry to leave and I informed Meryl the day before I wanted to meet her roommate. I was enjoying our conversation so far…

"So do you live around here Mr.-I mean matt?"

"No, I live a couple of miles away from the main town, up on willow's hill"

"Willow's hill…I think we did some landscaping over there once…do you live in one of those big houses over there?"

"Yes, I think mine is the biggest"

"Really! Oh wow! You must have a lot of things to need that much space!"

I laughed. She wasn't the brightest bulb in the bunch but she had a good heart. She was quite refreshing, actually, from most of the other people I spoke with on a day to day basis…I could see why Meryl had her as a friend…

"Do you like spaghetti matt? I was thinking of making that for dinner tonight"

"Sure, that sounds great"

She smiled again and went to finding the items she needed to make it…I was about to ask her how much longer did she think Meryl would take in the shower when a familiar scent entered the room. I turned around to see her standing there looking at us…

"Sorry to keep you both waiting"

I got up from my seat and walked over to her…

"Its fine, I rather enjoy speaking with your friend"

I leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek, causing her to blush slightly and looked over to milly, who was still chopping some vegetables and acted like she didn't notice. Meryl then proceeded to look back at me and motion for us to go sit down at the table; I took her hand, making her face become flushed once more, and strolled back. I then pulled out her chair, pushed her in and sat down next to her…

"Meryl is really lucky to have such a gentleman like you around!"

"I guess you can say that"

Milly and I both laughed while Meryl continued blushing…I cleared my throat and began speaking…

"Do you like to cook Meryl?"

"Well-"  
"Oh yes matt! Ma'am is really a good cook!"

"Is she…"

"*sweat drop* Well, I wouldn't go as far as to say I am really good but I think I am fairly decent"

She was becoming anxious again; I think I'm starting to figure out she doesn't do well with compliments…

"Don't be modest Meryl!"

"Yes, don't be modest"

"Really, I'm not that great!"

"Do you cook matt?

"Actually…"

They both looked at me intensely and I could understand why Meryl was starting to feel uncomfortable with us both ganging up on her. I nervously smiled and continued…

"Well, since I live alone I do, do most of my own cooking"

"You don't have someone else to do that for you?"

"*smile* no, my helpers might prepare something for me once in a while but I don't really like them doing everything for me"

"You have helpers?"

"Yes, yes I do"

"Wow! Are you rich matt?"

"Milly!"

"Um, well…"

I felt like I was under interrogation all of a sudden. I was about to begin again when a sudden knock on the door stopped me. Both women looked towards the direction of the sound, Meryl being the first to make a move to go open it, but milly stopped her and said she would get it instead. By their expressions, I came to the conclusion they were not expecting anyone else this evening….we both listened as she undid the bolt and chain locks and then opened the door…

"VASH! Oh, I wasn't expecting on seeing you so soon!"

The atmosphere in the kitchen took a drastic shift as a sudden wave of tension started radiating from her small frame. She was beginning to shift uneasily in her seat and my eyebrow raised…I wonder what was wrong…

"Um, sure, come in…I was fixing dinner…"

She seemed to freeze as the sound of two additional feet could be heard walking towards the kitchen…Milly entered first, followed by a man who appeared to be in his late twenties, of well-built stature, with blond, spiked hair. I assumed it was her boyfriend…as he took notice of Meryl and I, his eyes grew large and he didn't come any closer; he just stood there a couple of feet away from the swinging door…odd…milly then spun around to face him as if she forgot something…

"Oh Mr. Vash, I forgot to tell you, we have company! This is Meryl's friend Matthew."

He was glaring at me and I couldn't help but notice the frown plastered on his face; I stood and walked over regardless and introduced myself…

"It is nice to meet you Vash"

I out stretched my arm to give him a handshake. He looked me over and then proceeded to shake my hand…

"Yeah, nice to meet you too"

I nodded slightly and then took my seat next to Meryl. He still wouldn't sit down with us, opting to lean against the sink instead….

"Would you like anything to drink, Mr. Vash?"

"Yeah, I'll get it"

He walked over to the fridge, opened it, took out a beer and then closed it back….milly continued prepping the meal while he unfastened the top to his beer and leaned back against the sink. Meryl hadn't said anything since he walked in the room; silence ensued and I was starting to feel uncomfortable with how dreary the mood of had become…

"Are you the guy she met up with Friday night?"

Meryl looked up at him at his statement, her eyes cut to indicate she didn't appreciate his question. I answered him anyway…

"Yes."

"*low tone*…hmm…"

He took a swig of his beer and fell silent again. I looked at him and back at Meryl and then at milly…none of them where looking at each other…what the hell was going on between these three? Something must have happened here that I wasn't aware of; well obviously I wouldn't be aware of it, I don't live here. I looked over at the clock and it indicated it was now going on 7...I think this will be a good time for me to head out…

"Meryl"

"Huh?"

"I think I'm going to go. I have a meeting in the morning"

"Oh, ok…"

I pushed my chair out and rose to my feet; she did the same and milly looked over at us…

"It was wonderful meeting you milly"  
"You're not going to stay for dinner?"  
"No, I have some things I have to take care of for work so I have to cut my time here short. *smile* thank you for being a great hostess and speaking with me"

"Oh the pleasure was all mine, matt! Please come and visit us again when you get a chance!"

I smiled and looked over to Vash who was still taking swigs from his beer…his body seemed to tense up more after Milly's comment and I chose to just leave him alone…

"I'll walk you out"

"Alright"

She walked out with him; heading towards the front door. I turned my body to look out the window, trying to focus on something else. I heard the door close and waited to see if she was going to come back into the kitchen but instead saw her walk with him to his car that was parked across the street. He leaned in and said something to her, which was rewarded with a smile; I snarled and clenched my teeth…bastard…I was about to turn away when I caught in the corner of my eye them kissing. My head snapped back towards them and I looked on in disbelief…it was a long kiss…not just a quick peck but a long, passionate kiss; I could feel something deep inside me twist and turn and I couldn't look on anymore. I shut the curtain and made my way to the table, slamming down into a seat and laid my head against my hands...I felt like I was about the throw up…

"Vash, are you ok?"

I looked over to milly who was now boiling the water for the noodles…she still had a disappointed tone in her voice, as well as expression on her face, as when she first opened the door. Meryl must have told her what happened and now they both are upset with me…I put on a fake smile and answered her…

"Yeah. I was just thinking I should go as well-"

"No, I think you should stay."  
"*curious expression* Why is that milly?"

"So you can apologize to her for what you did. That is the reason you came by isn't it…"

I dropped my fake smile and looked at her seriously…she had caught on quick…

"Yes it it…"

"Then stay and follow through, Mr. Vash"

She then looked away and placed the noodles into the boiling pot. I thought this was going to be easy…I thought I would walk through the door, say I'm sorry and get back to having everything ok again but that asshole had to be here…sitting next her and…once again I could feel my blood pressure rise at the thought of them kissing; what the hell Vash! Stop it! She is just your friend remember! Stop over reacting! I hit my head against my hands…I have to get a grip…even if it kills me…

"Meryl"

I looked up and saw her standing there with her hair in a loose ponytail, with tight indigo jeans and a wife beater on. Her expression was still somber and I could feel the pain of guilt come back up when I saw the dark blue bruise marks on her wrists…she looked down at me and I stood up; I'm just going to say I'm sorry and leave…

"Meryl, can I talk with you in the other room please."

She nodded ok and walked back out the kitchen; I followed closely behind…

"Where would you like me to sit?"

"Right there is fine"

She sat down in the wooden chair I had closes to the bedroom door and folded her legs. I closed the door so we could have privacy and then walked over to my bed; sitting down on the edge of the springy cushion and then looking up at her…she was gazing at me as if I was going to start talking and so I did…

"Look I'm *long pause* what happened yesterday…."

Oh no…of all times to choke…just say I'm sorry! Don't go into a long, drawn out explanation, just get it over with so you can leave and stop thinking about that pricks mouth being all over her…

"I-"

"Ok."  
"Wha?"  
"It's ok. I know what it is you're trying to say and I accept your apology."

"But I-"  
"I know you over reacted and made a mistake. You were not being yourself and acted unacceptable because of it so I just wanted to tell you it is ok"

She was looking at me as if she was a drone…there was no emotion there and I felt as if what she really wanted to say would have been much worse than what she actually wound up saying. She then stood up and turned her back to me; opening the door and walking out back in the direction of the kitchen…

"Thanks for accepting my apology…."

I sat there for a little while longer, feeling hollow and unsatisfied…she took the words right out of my mouth and then walked away…the issue was resolved…no longer did I need to say I was sorry…if I left now I would feel at peace…I chuckled softly. I was lying to myself…I knew I felt like there was more I needed to say…I wanted to explain myself…I wanted to get whatever it was off my chest so I could make sense of it all….but I choked…I never could find the words to say it…I just couldn't say anything…

"I should get going. I think It would be best for me to leave for a while…"

I lifted myself from the firm mattress and walked out in to the quiet hallway…as I passed the kitchen door I could hear milly saying something casually and Meryl laugh lightly. I continued to the front and grabbed my coat from the arm of the couch. I then opened the door and left…

-/-/-/-

Part II

The engagement

"Do you like it?"

"Yes! It's beautiful matt, thank you."

He clasped the diamond bracelet around my wrist and kissed me…he was so wonderful…it still amazed me just how wonderful he really was…

"Happy birthday, babe"

He smiled at me and then continued our kiss…had it already been three months since we started dating? It seemed like only yesterday I was talking with him at that crowded bar…him giving me butterflies by just looking at me…pestering me until I finally allowed him to buy me a drink…wow…that was three months ago…funny how time flies. He then broke our kiss for the second time…

"Wait, there is something else"

He rolled off of me and stood up; running over to his bookshelf. He reached up and pulled something down from the very top and then ran back over. He joined me back on the floor and then handed me a small bag with a little black box inside….I looked at him with confusion and he just smiled at me again…

"Just open it"

"but-"

"Go on"

I took the box out of the bag and proceeded to untie the ribbon around it…it couldn't be…I slowly opened it and a wave of relief came over me as I seen it was only a set of silver keys…I thought it was going to be something else…

"Oh, I don't understand. Why are you giving me a set of keys?"

"They are the spares to this house and my office. I wanted you to have them"

"*long pause* Matt…why would you give this to me?"

"Because…I wanted to show you how special you are to me. I think by allowing you to have access to all that I own and have worked for would do just that."

"Matt…"

He pulled me close to him once more and brushed some loose strands of hair out of my face…my eyes became heavy as he began to caress my face…inching his way closer to my lips. He then proceeded to kiss me passionately, his tongue entangling with mine…causing me to moan softly into his mouth, which led him to kiss me even deeper. I was on my back again; I could feel his hand slowly lifting my shirt…gliding his fingers across my skin and generating another moan to escape my mouth. He lifted himself off of me so he could pull my shirt over my head and then went back to what he was doing…moving from my mouth down to my neck…every kiss igniting a fire deep within me. I began to tug on his shirt and he promptly took it off, exposing his toned torso; the light making his tan skin shimmer as he moved back down on me. His lips worked their way down…placing soft kisses down my neck, across my shoulders and then the tops of my breasts, while he slid the elastic straps of my bra down my arms and reached behind me to undo the garment completely. The sudden feel of his tongue grazing over my exposed nipple as he enclosed his mouth over the sensitive mound, caused my body to jump as my moans became louder and longer. His hands went to unbutton my jeans and I lifted up to allow him easier access…I suddenly felt the coolness of the room come over me as my pants were discarded and then tossed to the side; I laid there almost nude and he gazed down upon me…his topaz eyes hazy as he looked me up and down. I was breathing heavily; my flushed skin feeling like it was on fire as, he leaned down and pressed his moist lips against mine… guiding one hand down to my panties as the other caressed my bare breast. My mind was swimming and as his thumb rubbed against the thin fabric, I could feel the world slipping away as I lost myself in everything that was him….

"New guy, remember, when your shift is over you have to bring your time slip up to the front office so the chief can sign off on it. If not, your pay won't come in right."

"Thanks for the reminder, sir!"

"You're welcome. You can put your arm down rookie, this isn't the military"

"Alright, sir!"

"And quit calling me sir! I'm the same age as you!"

"Oh…"

I placed my arm to my side and the lieutenant shook his head; it was my first day at the prison and I was extremely nervous. This would be my first stable job in…hell, I think this will be my first stable job since I first came to this planet 137 years ago. I was forced to get something more permanent when knives threatened eviction if I didn't pull my own weight more. I couldn't even use the 'but you're my job' line either, seeing how he now was a head at the plant facility and hadn't shown signs of going postal in over two years; so I had to force myself to leave my comfort zone and apply for anything that would allow me to utilize the skills I did have to offer. The police station seemed like the best fit and when I saw the opening for a prison guard I had to take it. The lieutenant signaled for the lead guard to come down and show me the ropes for the night shift; he was an older, burly man, with yellowed teeth and a throat problem…beside from some physical downsides, he seemed like a pretty nice guy…

"You're on graveyard tonight, so pay attention"

He spit on the ground and started moving ahead of me. I had to walk fast to keep up…

"You only have ta look after cell block 3 tonight because we have another guy here. This isn't normally the case but 'til we know you can handle being alone with these guys, we will have Stewart patrolling with cha…"

He spit again and this time it was a huge, yellowish-brown glob that hit the floor…I think this guy should lay off the cigarettes…

"When your break comes you will take it in the back room down the hall. Don't be late coming back or we will dock it from your pay. Lights out at 9 and after that it just becomes a babysitting gig. If any of the cellmates gives you a problem, you have your night stick and in the office we have some electric rods you can use to cool them down. If you have any otha questions, Stewart will answer them for ya."

"Alright…"

"You can call me sir"

"Alright sir."

He continued giving me a tour of the facility; half way through Stewart came over and introduced himself and then the lead bid us farewell as he walked back to his office, grabbed his coat and left.

"So you have any more questions?"

Stewart looked at me and smiled. He seemed like a cool kid; he was much younger than the other guys I met and, if I hadn't known any better, could have still passed for a teenager. He was about the same height as me but with a more muscular build. Something about the way he was smiling at me I didn't particular care for but I brushed it off and answered him…

"Yea, where do you get food around here? The lead sorta forgot to mention that"

"Oh, the cafeteria is around the corner. It closes after lights out though so if you want to grab a bite you have do it before your shift starts or bring your own meal. I normally bring a lot of food so if you need something just let me know."

He smiled at me again and I could feel myself grow slightly uncomfortable; I smiled back nervously and continued to walk with him down the hall. We made our way back to our designated post and he finished the tour by showing me where most of the things were kept in the office. He handed me my night stick and badge and then pointed out the small, glass observation box I was to start in. I was heading out the door when he stopped me to ask one last question…

"Hey, you got everything you need?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"And really, if you need anything, just let me know ok"

"Uh, yeah, ok"

I made my way out and hurried to my assigned spot…that kid was giving me the creeps…I looked down and caught him staring up at me and I had to stop myself from shooting him a dirty look; why the hell is he gazing at me like that!? I waved nervously at him and he smiled at me once again; I really hope I don't need anything else from that guy. I took my seat as the prisoners where guided back from their last meal for the night and locked into their cells. The lights one by one began shutting down and after about 30 minutes the only lights illuminating the building were the dimly lit hanging fixtures and the ones coming from my post and the office. Stewart was walking back and forth as I continued sitting in the booth watching the monitors…

"*Yawn* gosh this is boring…"

I wiped the tears from my eyes and got up to stretch…I looked over to the clock and it read 1 am….

"Four more hours…I hope it goes fast."

I turned on my communicator and informed Stewart I needed to go use the restroom and he answered back ok. I made my way out the confined booth and down the stairs towards the latrines; I stood in front of the urinals and began to relieve myself when Stewart came up beside me…of all the empty stalls to take a piss, he chose to pick the one right next to mine…

"How is everything going up there?"

"Ok, I guess"

Chuckling nervously, I turned slightly away so he could notice I wasn't trying to talk. He looked at me again and I could feel his eyes examining me…this was so damn awkward! I finished and then flushed; walking over to the sink to wash my hands. He followed shortly after and I tried not to look in his direction…I was drying my hands off when I felt the presence of him standing behind me; my body then went into full freaked out mode when I felt his hot breath whispering into my ear…

"You're really cute you know. I love the way your eyes look in this dark light…"

"W-w-what!?"

I felt his fingers glide up my arm and I lost it. I grabbed his hand and twisted it hard as the sound of bone cracking and popping out of socket entered the confined area; he let out a loud scream and I continued to twist harder...

"Look, I don't know what you thought you were going to get from me but let me ensure you that it's not gonna happen!"

I twisted a little harder and he fell to his knees in pain. I then proceeded to toss his hand to the side and leave him in the restroom holding it, crying…

I was fired on the spot. Apparently Stewart was the warden's son and he didn't take too kindly to me breaking his son's wrist and crushing his hand to almost unrepairable conditions. Well none of this would have happened if the asshole didn't try to butt rape me in the bathroom! They handed me my pay for the night and I left…damn…knives wasn't going to be happy about this…

"What the hell do you mean you got fired!? You just started yesterday! How the hell did you get fired in one day!?"

"Well…"

I held the back of my head and laughed anxiously. I knew he wasn't going to take the news very well…

"Well what!? If you don't give me a good ass explanation for this, I'm going to stick my foot so far up your ass you'll need surgery to get it out!"

"Ok! Jeez, this guy at work came on to me and I had to forcefully turn him down"  
"What do you mean forcefully!?"

"Well, I broke his wrist and sorta crushed his hand at the same time. I mean, I wasn't trying to do anything to him but he touched me and I lost it!"

He looked at me and I could feel the beads of sweat drip down my face…oh gosh he's going to blow. I hope they can at least find my body once he was finished with me. I prepared myself for the inevitable and closed my eyes with my arms above my head…..wait, what? I moved my arm slightly down and opened my eyes to look at him when nothing happened…he had his hand to his face; rubbing the bridge between his eyes and nose, trying to calm himself down…he then sighed loudly and looked at me…

"*dryly* so you're telling me some gay guy tried to put the moves on you and you broke his wrist"

"Yeah"

"Figures"

"*angry expression* what do you mean 'figures'!?"  
"That some stupid ass crap would happen to you the moment you get a stable job. It's like god is punishing me for all my past sins"

"Don't you think that is a little mean of you to say knives?"

"No. you're like a lingering headache that won't go away no matter how many drugs I take."

I was giving him my puppy dog expression and his right temple twitched madly. He then turned his back to me, making his way back to the kitchen…

"*innocent tone* does this mean you're still mad at me?"

He shot me a death glare and I could feel the blood drain from my face…yes, yes it does…

"*nervous chuckling* Ok, I guess I'll start looking for another job then"

"Start looking now"

His back was still facing me as he prepared himself something to eat…so damn evil. I walked over to the computer and turned it on, the familiar start up melody played though the speakers and I waited for the password screen to flash on the screen…

"Can I use your account again? You have more access to the web than I do"

"Whatever"

I typed in the password and the screen changed to knives home page…It was amazing what a couple of years can do to a place; they had tapped into some of the old technology from the golden years back on earth and was able to harvest it and give the towns what they called the 'internet'. Rem used to tell me all about the interesting technologies back on earth but that the internet was one of the most cherished and well used. The memory made me smile and I clicked on the browser page to begin…

"If only she could see us now"

I let the memory pass me as I typed in my location and then 'jobs' and a list of openings popped up on the screen…

"Let's get started….again"

I sighed heavily and then clicked on the first listing….

"Goodnight!"

"Night meryl!"

I pushed open the heavy door and stepped out onto the sidewalk; it was freezing and all I could do was hold on to my jacket tighter as I made my way back home…

"We have two damn suns on this planet! How the hell is it so cold right now?"

Then I remembered…

"Oh yeah, that's why"

Some damn freak phenomenon that could only be explained as 'extraordinary' was taking place. We were having some type of eclipse over one of our suns so we were experiencing some changes in our typical, dry and arid weather. For the first time since anyone could remember it rained…it was so strange to everyone that they called for a nationwide emergency just in case it caused damage to businesses and people's private property. Of course nothing like that happened but it was amazing to watch anyway. Then came the cold…It was so awful…I never felt this cold in my life. I mean, It did get cool once the sun went down before but nothing like this…I thought I was going to freeze to death were I was standing…

"I hope milly turned on the stove so the place will be warm once I get there"

I quickened my stride as I pulled the jacket even tighter against my shivering body…

"FINALLY!"

I shut the door and laid my back against it; breathing heavily as the warm room brought relief to my numb face, nose, mouth and ears…

"Meryl is that you!?"

"Yeah milly, it's me!"

Who else would it be…I took off my jacket and hung it up on the coat rack then kicked off my boots; I stepped off of the cold floor way onto soft carpet and could feel the sudden relief wash over my feet…

"It's so nice to be home"

I walked into the kitchen and noticed her sitting down playing word puzzles; she looked up at me, smiled and then asked about my day…

"It was long, cold and tiring. You would think people would have better things to do than stay at a restaurant all day and all night."

"So you didn't like closing tonight then?"

"*monotone* No milly. It was terrible."

I slouched down into the chair, pulling over the fruit bowl we had in the middle of the table. I peeled back a banana and took a bite…my head was throbbing from all the added stress of overtime.

"So have they hired anyone to replace the three that left yet?"

"No. they said they are having a hard time finding people who would fit well into the schedule."

"What do they mean by that?"

"Well milly, most of the people who are applying for the type of job I do are either in high school, college or retired. The ones in school can only work when they have time and the retired one's are extremely picky about what times they come in and stay out. So they are having to stretch the whole hiring process a bit longer"

"So that means…"

"Yes, I'm stuck working practically all day until they finish"

I wanted to cry…I was so tired and the thought of having to go back and do another 12 hour shift was making me want to pull my hair out. I kept saying to myself I should quit and find a new job but I have been there so long now and I hate having to get re introduced to new people and new environments…it seemed hopeless…

"Why don't you request the day off? I think they will be ok without you one day this week."  
"I can't. We are so short staffed right now, they are threatening anyone who takes off to just stay off. I don't want to lose my job…*hysterical outburst*, WHY MILLY! Why are they trying to put me into an early grave!?"

I was shaking my head back and forth; holding my face while doing so. I don't want to die!

"It's ok ma'am! Don't freak out!"

"I can't, help, it!"

She started shaking me; trying to snap me out of the breakdown I was experiencing…

"They're trying to kill me! I know they are! Why are they doing this to me!?"

"Meryl! Meryl!"

She continued shaking me until the loud vibration of a telephone penetrated my subconscious…the ringing persisted and I was brought back to reality. I looked up at milly with a 'you should answer that' expression and she quickly let me go and ran over to the phone. I then placed my head down on the table and listened…

"Hello"

/person on phone/

"Oh, hi matt!"

So it was Matthew…

"Well, she actually just got in…"

I sat up and shook my head no; letting her know I didn't want to talk at this moment. I knew once I got on the phone he would pick up on the stress interwoven in my voice…I didn't want him to worry…

"Mmm, hmm. Well she is in the shower right now, could I get her to call you back later?"

/person on phone/

"Oh…oh ok. I'll let her know."

/person on phone/

"No problem matt! Take care."

She hung up and walked back over…I waited for her to say something about the conversation, as she sat back down across from me…

"What did he say?"

"He just wanted to ask you if you wanted to get together this weekend. He also wanted to know if you were interested in seeing a play and then he wanted me to tell you that he was sorry he missed you tonight."

"So he isn't calling back later?"

"No, he said he was still at work and that it was really important he finished tonight."

"Oh"

"You can always call him back Meryl"

"*pause* No, I think this is best. I don't want him to get distracted because of my work situation."

"Ok"

"Well, I think I will go take that shower; night milly"

"Night ma'am!"

I then stood up, threw the banana peel in the garbage and left milly to her word puzzles...when I got to my room I started to strip down in the middle of the floor; tossing the smelly work uniform in the dirty clothes hamper and made my way to the shower. Once I had it where I wanted it, I stepped inside and allowed the hot water to relax and sooth my aching muscles; emptiness encircling my thoughts as the water pelted away at my tense skin...It felt wonderful…unfortunately, the moment lasted for only a second when my mind became flooded with memories of the last time I seen matt…nothing had been unfortunate about the experience ,however, it had been two weeks already since he gave me his house and office keys and I had yet to use them. Well, I knew work was demanding a lot out of me lately and when I got off I just wanted to get home, but still…I could have just called him and asked to use his car or for one of his chauffeurs to pick me up after work so I could get there….so why hadn't I? Another flash back to the reaction I gave in regards to receiving the special gift, brought a wave of guilt over me as I stood there in the shower…

"I didn't know what to say. I should have been ecstatic….most women in my position would be….but all I could muster up was a 'matt' as a response. Why wasn't I happier about him giving me something so important to him? Why was something in my heart always holding me back when it came to fully allowing myself to care for this man?"

His face was what answered me….that caring grin and those aqua eyes…for some reason whenever I tried to convince myself matt was the one I wanted, his image would come in my mind and stop me; why was I still in love with him? Why wouldn't my dumb heart just let him go so I could move on to someone who genuinely cared for me and wanted to make me happy?

"He hasn't been by here for so long; how does he still manage to haunt me like this…"

After that day, when he came over to apologize, he never came back. He stayed away from us…from me….I hadn't seen him in over three months, going on four…I never knew I would be living my life without him; without his stupid remarks or goofy smile…I never…I found myself crying…I placed my hands on the warm tile as the tears became heavier and gave way to quiet sobs. It wasn't fair…even with having someone like matt in my life, I still wound up crying for him….

"Damn you Vash…for always making me feel… like this…."

"Wake up idiot. You're drooling all over my keyboard"

I groggily lifted my head after feeling the soft impact of a pillow being thrown at my body; my head was aching and my neck felt like it was going to be stuck in a sideways position for the next week…how long was I sleeping there? I looked over at knives who was laying silently on the couch with his back propped up on the spare pillow…he was obviously trying to sleep and the light from the computer was disturbing him. I slowly lifted myself up and pulled away from the computer; turning it off as I dragged my way toward my bedroom…once there, I peeled off my heavy clothes and fell onto the bed with a loud thud, proceeding to look over at my clock on the end table…

"Damn, it's three in the morning….no wonder my neck is killing me; I was sleeping there for almost five hours…"

I turned my head and begun trying to adjust my eyes to the darkness surrounding me…looking for a job was so damn stressful…not to mention boring…I wish I could just find something and be done with it. I readjusted myself again and looked over to the fogged window on the opposite side of the room. The moon was shining brightly as the cold wind blew the outside shutters back and forth….it must be another storm coming; this would be the third one in two weeks….I was looking forward to it. I sighed; the brightness of the moon brought to mind a certain woman with illuminating eyes and porcelain skin…I continued to stare as the image of her standing before me came into view…her raven hair and slight smile capturing my thoughts and bringing back the buried yearning I tried desperately to ignore….

"Not again…why does she always come to my thoughts even when I try so hard not to let her in…"

Three months had passed since I had last seen or spoken with Meryl. It seemed like a bad dream that I never awoken from…just a continuing cycle of the same routine each day that passed…living alone here with knives; wishing the emptiness which hindered me would be wiped away with the sound of her soft voice…or the comfort of her tender embrace. The more I tried to forget about her, to force myself to not see her beautiful face appear in my thoughts and stab at my soul…the stronger and more intense the desire to be around her became…these damn emotions just wouldn't let me be…

"She has her prince charming; why do I keep subjecting myself to this? How many times do I need to remind myself we were never meant to be anything more than just friends? Why do I keep wishing…?"

Something inside me knew I wanted to end this…to run and see her and tell her all that I was feeling and hoping for…but it would be to no avail. She would probably scold me and turn me away…running into the arms of that bastard she was seeing; I had no reason to dislike him. He seemed like a good person with more to offer her than I had but I still hated the mere thought of him being with her…touching her…caressing her….it drove me insane. How could I allow myself to fall….to fall so deeply in love with a woman I could never have? It took me so long to finally admit that was the reason I worried so much and wanted no one else to be near her….why I fantasized about her when no one else was around…I loved her….but she would never love me…the tightening of my stomach and sudden ache in my chest caused me to turn away from the window and roll into my pillow and lie there…

"I need to discard these feelings….I need to let her go…"

I should accept the hand god has dealt me; I thought I did…so why was I lying here fighting? Every other night tossing and turning…desirous to just have the one thing in my life that made any sense. I buried my head deeper into the pillow and squeezed my eyes shut…a resolve had to be made…I can't keep doing this…something had to change and I knew what it had to be. It wasn't going to be easy; I knew it was wrong on every level and I shouldn't even be considering it…but it was the only way…the only way I knew for certain…to stop the aching in my heart…

/firm knocking on the door/

My eyes darted back and forth behind their lids as I turned my body to its side…I must be dreaming…no one would be knocking on my damn door at this time in the morning…

/firm knocking on the door/

I was starting to get pissed off. The constant tapping caused me to stir once more; slitting my eyes open as I looked over to the front door…the knocking continued. I was annoyed by now at the fact it was defiantly not a dream and the person seemed to be getting loader with each tap that made contact with the wooden surface...

"*angry tone* I'm going to strangle whoever that is and then I'm going to hang him from the roof"

I slowly sat up and pushed myself off the comfortable couch; stupid ass ingrate was going to regret disturbing me this damn early in the morning. Walking towards the door, I looked over at the hanging clock and it read twelve in the afternoon…ok, so it isn't as early as I expected it to be…I'm still going to kill him for the hell of it. I stopped in front of the door and angrily started to unlatch the top lock; quickly opening it to see who I was about to sock in the face, when two bright, surprised, blue eyes looked at me and smiled…what the hell…why was she here

"Good afternoon Mr. Knives! I brought you lunch and those tools you asked for! Did I wake you?"

I shut my eyes and rubbed them, as I slowly started to remember our conversation from the previous day…I asked the large woman to bring me over some tools I needed to fix the damn sink in my bathroom. I proceeded to open them back and look her up and down as she continued smiling at me with that bubbly expression I had grown accustomed to…

"Are you ok Mr. Knives?"

"Yeah, come in"

I stepped to the side as she made her way into the apartment; closing the door then turning back to look in the direction she last passed, I watched her place the items on the kitchen counter and un wrap the packaging to whatever food item she had brought over to make lunch with. I walked back to the couch and grabbed my loose fitting long sleeve shirt; it was freezing due to me forgetting to close the bathroom window before I fell asleep last night and I was assuming my idiotic brother was still in bed since he hadn't closed it either. I laid back down and waited for the large woman to start speaking again…

"Would you like the usual on your sandwich Mr. Knives?"

"*dryly*…..sure…"

"Ok!"

She started humming and I could feel the nausea surfacing; her innocence making me want to gag. She was too damn nice…never complaining and always there when you needed her….stupid woman…I closed my eyes as she continued, not admitting it was, in some ways, soothing to hear…

"Here you are knives"

I looked up to see her standing over me. I grunted and sat back up; giving her room to sit down beside me as she placed the plate on the small coffee table….

"It's your favorite!"

"I don't have a favorite anything"

"Oh, well…I guess since you eat this the most I thought it would be your favorite."

"*hmph*"

I lifted the sandwich up to my mouth and took a bite; she proceeded to pick up one of the various work books I had scattered across the table and open it…

"Hmm…how are you liking it? Being a lead I mean."

"…..it's fine. I don't particularly care for the constant interactions with those damn co-workers of mine now but I enjoy being closer to my siblings; I can help them survive better this way."

"That's great Mr. Knives! I'm glad you like it"

She smiled tenderly at me and I could feel my face grow hot…damn female was getting to me again! I looked away and continued eating on my lunch without any further conversation…

"*sleepily* hey milly…I wasn't expecting to see you this early today…"

We turned our heads to see a half sleep Vash looking over at us…fool didn't realize how late it really was…

"Hi Mr. Vash! I guess 12:45 in the afternoon is early but I thought it was as good a time to be here!"

"12…45…"

He looked over at the clock and his eyes grew wide…

"OH HELL! IT'S THAT LATE! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUT THE HOUSE BY 9!"

He rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door. We could hear the sound of running water being turned on, as various items were being dropped on the floor and cursing could be heard through the thin wall…sometimes I wish I had been an only child…

"Mr. Vash seems a little off today"

"When is he ever not 'off'"

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess he isn't acting too strangely then"

She turned back to her book and continued reading. I shook my head and went back to eating my sandwich…damn idiot…

"Well, I'm leaving now! Don't forget to wear a condom knives! Enjoy yourself milly!"

I spit out my drink; milly turned a bright red as he gave us both a devilish grin, ran down the hall and out the door. He really would say that crap out loud! I looked over to milly and she looked at me; her face becoming a deeper red as she turned away. What the hell...now this awkward ass tension is going to be hovering around us while we try to finish fixing this damn sink…stupid ass Vash, saying crap he has no business even mentioning…

"Umm, here's the wrench you asked for Mr. Knives…"

"Thanks…"

She handed me the tool and went back to leaning against the bathroom wall with the heavy bag in her hand. She kept looking away as if to not give away how much Vash's comment affected her…women… I just continued working on the sink…trying my best to ignore the uncomfortable warmness that was starting to arise inside of me with the thought of her naked beneath me…

"Here is the paper work you requested Mr. Matherson"

"Thank you Alyssa, you can go home now"

"Alright. Good night sir"

"Goodnight"

She walked out the office, picking up her purse and loose paperwork from her desk, and made her way to the glass elevator. The familiar ding made known the platform had arrived and she entered inside…she pushed the button and I watched as the doors slowly closed and she made her decent downwards…

"Alright Matthew, time to finish this and get home as well."

I looked over the documents containing structural plans for the new wing being added to the northernmost building, I needed to sign off on some more materials being brought in for various other projects and then I needed to run over the numbers for this month's ingoing and outgoing revenues…I rubbed the bridge between my eyes and set the papers down; scrolling through the different windows opened on my computer before shutting it down and gathering my things…

"On second thought, I think I'll finish this tomorrow."

I flipped open my cell phone and looked down to see my missed calls…

"She called me once. She must still be at work"

Meryl had been working countless hours at her waitressing job and it was starting to worry me. She was always tired and she seemed to be even moodier lately; I closed the door, locked it and made my way over to the elevators then pressed the down button.

"Maybe if I stopped by tonight, I could put her in a better mood."

I stepped inside and pressed the talk button, hoping I could catch her before she left work to ask if it would be a good time to drop by…

/person on the phone/

"Hello, this is Matthew Matherson. I was calling to speak with Ms. Stryfe…"

/person on the phone/

"I'll hold then"

"Meryl, phone call!"

"Ok! I'm coming!"

I put down the tray I was carrying and hurried towards the direction of the wall phone; the late night crowd was starting to gather near the entrance, blocking my way as I tried to get to my telephone call…

"Excuse me, pardon me, Move damn it!"

A rough looking gentleman looked at me and I snarled, pushing past him as I finally made my way through the rude customers…

"Damn people don't know how to let someone pass without giving them a hard time. I wish they would just leave and get a life for goodness sake!"

I could hardly hear myself speak as I picked up the phone and answered…

"Hello, this is Meryl"

She sounded distraught. They must be getting to her again…

"Hi gorgeous, how is my favorite person doing this evening?"

It was Matthew!

"Oh Matt, hi! I wasn't expecting to hear back from you until I got in. I'm doing ok, just a little flustered but fine in all. How about yourself?"

"Tired, but I would like to come see you. Are you available tonight?"

I guess I should say yes…I will feel guilty if I turn him down again.

"Sure, what time did you want to stop by? I get off in an hour"

"Great, do you want me to bring you dinner? Or would you like to go out instead?"

"Dinner at home sounds great. I would be willing to catch a movie later though, I finally got a day off tomorrow."

"Dinner and a movie it is. I'll be at your house by 8:00"

"Alright, see you soon babe"

"Take care, beautiful."

I pushed the end button as I finished getting to my vehicle. I opened the door, placed my briefcase in the passenger seat and started it.

"I guess I'll go home and shower first"

I pulled out the lot and headed down the hill in the direction of willow's hill…

The moment the clock struck 7, I hung up my apron and raced out the door. I didn't even say goodbye to everyone; I had to make it home so I could shower and change out of this funky ass uniform before he arrived at the house…

"I knew I should have asked to leave sooner *running* I hope I have enough time to get ready."

He wasn't the type to complain if I threw on some jeans and torn up t-shirt but I still wanted to look half decent for him. I hadn't seen him in over two weeks and to greet him in something tacky just wouldn't be right.

"My feet are killing, maybe he won't mind some nice flats though"

I speed up as I made my way around the corner; the rain clouds were rolling back in and I didn't want to be stuck in the middle of a down pour like this morning…I wish I had more than a hood to cover myself…sand storms were one thing but all this damn rain was a killer once it drenched you through your coat…

"7:15…almost there"

I could see the familiar dark tan house at the corner and I made another right down the street. The house came into view and I sprinted the last few blocks there; opening the door then shutting it as I threw my coat off, un cuffed my work boots and hurried up to the shower…

"I got thirty three minutes, I think I'll be ok."

"*irritated tone* Damn rain was making driving a few miles difficult."

I looked down at my watch and then back at the slow moving traffic; people acted like the rain was going to melt their cars so they needed to drive extra slow everywhere. I should have opted to use the back roads instead…

"*angry tone* I wish they would move their asses! It's just some water for crying out load!"

I honked my horn again as the car ahead of me edged up a fraction of an inch….this is going to take longer than I thought….

I wonder what is taking him…I looked out the window to see if his car had finally pulled up. It was now 8:23 and I was getting restless; it was probably all this rain that was keeping him. I walked back over to the couch and turned on the television, the vibrant faces danced across the screen as the infomercial ran its course then cut back to the late night news…

**/" In breaking news: Today an recorded breaking 4 inches of rain fell onto the major city of December, causing major traffic jams and collisions….we will be checking back with Andrew later for the latest update…"/**

I was about to go get myself a glass of water, when the firm knocking on the door startled me. I ran over and looked out the side window as a soaked milly waved hello. I opened the door and she smiled at me with delight; her long, sandy blond hair stuck to her face as she pulled down her hood and made her way inside…

"You look nice ma'am!"

"I have a date tonight."  
"Oh, is that why you looked surprised to see me at the door?"

"Yes, matt is almost thirty minutes late and I thought you were him. I suppose all this rain-"

I stopped talking as the lights of his expensive sedan rolled up and she looked over to see who it was I was looking at…

"Oh! Well I guess he made it just in time*smile*!"

I smiled at her as she continued unbuttoning her long over coat and placing the wet garment on the coat rack. I looked back out the door and watched as his made his way up the stairs to greet me…

"Hi babe, sorry I'm late"

His smooth face was glistening as he knelt down to kiss me on the cheek; he then looked over to milly and waved…

"Hi milly, you look…wet"

"*laugh* that's because I am! I just got in right when you pulled up. It's nice to see you matt."  
"*smile*it's nice seeing you as well. I won't keep you from getting yourself dried off and comfortable, then. Do you mind if I steal her away for a while?"

"Oh not at all! You two have a wonderful time!"

"But I thought-"  
"It took me so long to get here I didn't get a chance to stop and get food. I thought we could just pick something up instead on the way to the movies."

"Oh"

"Well you two be safe and I'll see you later Meryl!"

She handed me my jacket, casually said goodnight and walked off towards her room. We both replied goodnight back and I slipped the warm garment over me. I shut the door and locked it as he took my hand and guided me back to the running vehicle…he opened the door for me first, allowing me to get situated, then closed it, ran to the other side and hopped in as well…

"You ready?"

"Yes, about dinner-"

"I called an order in before I arrived. You look great by the way"

"*blush* Thank you."

He leaned in and kissed me affectionately on the lips; the moistness of the rain making his mouth smooth and slippery. I pulled away and softly told him we should get going and he looked at me with his hypnotic topaz eyes and nodded ok. He then shifted the car into gear, flipped on the windshield wipers, and pulled away from the sidewalk….

"Well, Vash Saverem is it."

"Yes, sir."

"You seem a little under qualified for this type of position but, seeing how we are in desperate need of workers right now, I'm willing to overlook your short comings and give you a change to prove yourself."

"So, I got the job then!"

"Yes"

"OH THANK YOU!"

I jumped out of my seat and made my way around the desk before he could stop me. I gave him a giant hug and he looked at me as if he was going to have a heart attack. I nervously laughed and let him go; placing my hand behind my head while I continued to thank him for the opportunity and how I wouldn't let him down. He straightened out his now wrinkled button up and gestured for me to leave his office. I thanked him once more and walked out the door.

"What a great day I'm having! First it was those awesome, freshly made donuts I got for free, then some random stranger came up and gave me 5 double dollars for just being alive and now this! I love how much love and peace is going around today, even with all this rain!"

It was a miracle he even seen me when he did. The appointments were being held at 9 this morning but due to me oversleeping, I missed the first half of them. Due to my persistence and some heavy flirting with the lady manager, I was able to land a late night interview with the owner himself before he left for the day. I might have been leaving out of there by 9 at night but at least I was leaving there with a job. I couldn't contain my growing grin as the reality of the situation became clearer in my mind…

"I got the job...now I will be near you again."

I quickened my pace back home as I continued to relish in all my good fortune; I couldn't wait to start this coming Monday…if everything else falls into place, I might be able to achieve my goal after all…I started to feel the starting of rain drops hit my nose and I picked up my speed towards knives and my apartment…

"So, did you two fool around after I left?"

"What the hell do you think?!"

"Well, I was hoping…seeing how much you like having her around-"

"Just shut the hell up Vash! I would never…for you to even imply I would do such a thing with…ga!"

He slammed his work book on the table, stood and stormed off towards his bedroom….I guess I hit a nerve…again. I sighed and looked back at the thick pamphlet that was given to me upon existing the restaurant earlier…even with all his bad mouthing and fake un interest whenever anyone else was around, I knew he wasn't too bothered with the idea of him and milly becoming more that just friends…the way he looked at her and how he acted around her said as much. He just didn't want anyone to notice; I found a soft spot he never wanted to know was there. I began yawning as I continued to flip through the pages…I hate reading boring books…I yawned deeper this time and felt tears forming around my eyes…next my vision became blurred, so I tossed the pamphlet down, stood and made my way to my bed as well…

"I think I'll sleep well, for the first time in months…"

I closed the door behind me and proceeded to go to bed…

_/Monday/_

"I'm heading to work Meryl! There is some fresh cut fruit on the table for you, have a great day ma'am!"

"Thanks *pause* milly! You too!"

She then walked away from the closed door and made her way down the stairs. I was still trying to get ready for work; I yet again over slept and now I'm scrambling to throw myself together. I have to stop staying out so late; matt didn't bring me back until close to 12 in the morning and I am exhausted still.

"Ok, I got my name tag, my purse, my jacket, let me put on my earrings and I'll be set."

I found my favorite gold hoops and secured them to my ears with their backings; I then cleaned up as best as I could the mess I had created around my room from searching for a clean uniform this morning, grabbed my belongings and headed out the bedroom. I then proceeded to skip down the stairs into the kitchen, grab a spare bowl to put my breakfast in, my lunch from the fridge, jam it all into my lunch pack and hurried out to work…

"I'm glad it's not raining right now; jeez I only have 15 minutes to get to work!"

I finished locking the door and ran down the steps onto the hard pavement. Hopefully my manager won't notice my tardiness…

"Alright Meg, I want you to meet the new waiter in training."

"So you finally hired someone, eh Mitch?"

"Yeah, but he isn't what you would consider a real find, so you will have to do your best to teach him the ups and downs of this place so he can keep up."

"*questioning expression* Are we that desperate to fill spaces we let just anybody in here now?"

"Hey, this job isn't exactly rocket science, besides, you can mold him anyway you like."

"*dryly* I hate babysitting Mitch-"

"Well, then train him right and you won't have to babysit him for long."

He pushed past the kitchen double doors and walked me to the back where we employees regrouped for lunch, breaks and everything else in between.

"Vash, this is the lead waitress Megan. Megan, Vash"

"Hi, Megan, It's nice to meet you!"

"Just call me meg, shug"

"Alright!"

He laughed loudly and I rolled my eyes. He seems nice enough and he's pretty cute to boot, but I don't think he has much going on upstairs if you know what I mean…

"Well, you two get acquainted and I'll be back after your shifts to see how everything went today."

"OK SIR!"

"Alright Mitch, I'll see you then."

The boss walked out the room and the spikey haired blond was still standing at attention…like I said, handsome but off…very off…

"I think I'll let you shadow Meryl once she gets here"

I feel bad to do it, but I don't have time for empty headed goofballs today; I have to deal with that enough with the people that already come in here…

"Hey Meryl! Have a nice day off?"

"Yeah, thanks for asking Mikey"

"Good, well Meg wants to see you in the kitchen before you start."

"*sigh* ok"

I walked past the main lobby, into the hallway and pushed open the double doors. I said hello to the kitchen staff as I continued my way to the back. I could see Meg standing in the opening of the employee room with her back turned, as I walked up…she seemed to be talking with someone…

"Well, you will need to-oh Meryl there you are!"

She turned to look at me and I rose my eyebrow in anticipation…she had an expression on her face like she was about to throw something unwanted on me…

"Come here and let me introduce you"

"Wha-"

She pulled me into the room before I knew what was happening and turned me to face the person she was speaking with…my mouth dropped open and I let out a loud gasp…

"VASH!?"

"H-ii Meryl"

My legs felt like they were going to buckle and the room started spinning; I reached for the wall and leaned against it to regain my bearings…this isn't happening right…I'm not standing here looking at the man I haven't see or spoken too in over three months…he's not here right now…I must be having one of those naked dreams, where everything is wrong and you woke up screaming. I closed my eyes and reopened them…trying to figure out why his image wouldn't go away…

"Well, it seems you two know each other. Good, I need you to train our new waiter Meryl."

"*confused expression* Wait, but…wha…"

"It'll be fine; Vash let me know if you need anything. See you two later."

I was still in shock as she made her way out…train…new waiter…WHAT THE HELL!

"It's really good to see you mer-"

"Ok Vash, what the hell are you doing here?!"

"Oh, well, I needed a job and I saw this place was hiring for full-time workers and so-"  
"I GET THAT PART! What I want to know is WHY you are here! Why didn't you go find a damn job someplace else!?"

"Well, I…"

I was so upset, I could explode! Why, after all this time, why did we have to reunite like this? In these damn uniforms, working together…I would have to work with him! My head was throbbing as I waited for him to reply…

"….I just thought it would be…a nice place to work"

"*dryly* really….are you serious…"

"Yeah"

He laughed nervously and I felt my body twitch from irritation…of all of the stupid, absolutely ridiculous….I swear this man is denser than a box of nails….

"Fine, *heavy exhale* whatever. I guess I will just have to suck it up and do my best to work with you."

"Are you at least happy to see me?"

"What? Are you kidding me? Why would you ask me that when THIS is how we are seeing each other after all this time?"

"Is it really that hard to answer?"  
"*huff* Ok, yeah, I guess…I don't know right now."

"…..oh"

I moved past him and grabbed my apron from the wall…wrapping it tightly around me and then opening my locker to place my belongings inside.

"Since you will be shadowing me, there are a couple of rules you need to know. Don't talk unless I tell you to. Do exactly what I tell you to, when I tell you and don't ask any dumb questions that should be self-explanatory. You got that, Vash?"

"Well, how will I know if it is a dumb question-"

"You just will!"

"*gulp* ok"

I slammed the door, walked up to him and looked him directly in his aquamarine eyes...

"Look, I don't want this to be anymore awkward than it already is. So do us both a favor and act like you have some common sense today. We will both have a better experience together if you do."

"Y-yes meryl."

I took my finger away from his chest and made my way to the door…

"Grab yourself a half-apron and come on."

"Right"

He did what he was told and then followed me out towards the front lobby…this is going to be a long day…

"*whispering*Ask the gentleman if he would like some more coffee."

"Oh, sir would you like some more coffee with your meal?"

He looked at Meryl and then back to me; he shook his head yes in response and continued reading his paper…I slowly poured the hot liquid in his mug and then asked if there was anything else I could get him. He gruffly answered no and waved for us to go away…no wonder when I used to live at the house Meryl would come home in such a foul mood. Most of these customers were complete assholes! We both gave our best fake smiles and walked away from the old man to our other table…She greeted them again and asked if everything was going well. They replied with a 'yea' and so we continued making our rounds around to the various customers in the restaurant. Everything was going pretty smoothly; I dropped only two things so far and most of the time I restrained from asking anything stupid before thinking about it first. 8 o'clock became 10 and then we heard Meg yell for us to take our lunch by 12. I was really happy the day was going so well, so far. We made our way to the back; sitting down at the employee table while we grabbed our lunches from our lockers. She had packed some salmon with lemon and herbs drizzled on top with wild brown rice and mixed vegetables…I looked down at my meal and frowned…I had only a half-eaten drumstick, a slice of bread and some stale carrot sticks…evil ass knives threw this to me on the way out this morning…no wonder the ass was laughing as I was leaving…I curled my lip up and pushed the meal to the side…

"Not hungry?"

"No, I think I'll just starve."

"You want some of mine? I have more than…enough…."

I was looking at her with huge, shimmering eyes and a wide grin…

"Really! You would share with little ol' me?"

"Oh for peat's sake Vash! Just take the damn food before I change my mind!"

"Thankkk you!"

I began taking half of her meal and devouring it. I couldn't remember the last time I had something so good. I sucked at cooking and Knives only fixed meals for his self but even when he did make enough to share, his cooking tasted like stale cow turds with a dash of salt. I was thoroughly enjoying this delight to my taste buds; I looked up from my meal to see her staring at me in awe….I carefully placed my fork down and smiled at her with a mouthful of fish in my mouth…

"You're really tearing that up, aren't you?"

"*mouthful laugh* yea, I haven't had something like this in…quite a while!"

"I see…"

I swallowed and then smiled at her again…

"Aren't you going to finish yours? You barely touched your fruit either."

"Oh, well…I'm not really that hungry…"

"No?"

"You just enjoy your lunch Vash, I'm fine"

I looked at her questionably and she just gave me a half smile…her mind seemed to be on something else. I went back to my meal…looking up periodically to see if she was looking at me again…instead she had her head slightly turned, her face leaning against her palm and was looking toward the window at the lightly falling rain outside. The light bounced off her beautiful eyes, to her cream colored skin and curled hair…I could feel a familiar tingling sensation in my loins and I quickly looked back down at my food…not here, not now…she will kill you; I readjusted myself in the chair and tried to focus on something else besides the pretty lady who sat across from me…

"How have you been?"

I caught myself saying that out loud and she turned to look at me. Her bluish-violet eyes studying me as if to see if I was genuinely interested…she then opened her mouth and answered…

"I've been…ok. How about yourself?"

"I guess I've been alright. Just working here and there before now and taking care of knives."

"Oh….have you been seeing anyone-I mean, like, having visitors over there at all?"

"Milly comes by pretty often. She's always helping knives with something and spending time with him on their days off. Sometimes I wonder if she is still seeing that Eric guy with the amount of time she spends over at the apartment."

"Yeah, she does spend a lot of time with your brother. I find myself wondering the same thing."

"Besides her, we mostly stay to ourselves. Knives still doesn't like people very much and I don't have many acquaintances around here so…yeah. Are you still seeing that matt guy?"

She seemed taken aback by the question. She looked as if she didn't think I would remember…

"Yea, I am"

"Oh…that's good."

"Yeah."

I scooped a spoonful of rice into my mouth and went silent…she began nibbling on an apple slice and looking back at the rainfall…the deafening silence engulfing us as I tried to find another way to approach the situation. If I was going to make this work then I would need to be comfortable with talking about her relationship with that guy….if not, then I could never pull them apart like I planned too…I was about to say something when a skinny guy with a funky Mohawk and kitchen attire peeked his head through the door and yelled for Meryl…

"Yeah Brooks?"

"You have a telephone call"

"Ok, thanks"

He pulled his head back out as the door closed and she stood…

"Well Vash, I'll see you once our lunch is over."

See smiled and then made her way out the door; leaving me sitting there by myself, with my thoughts and an empty plate as my only company. Damn…I bet it is him calling her too. I picked up the paper plate and bowl with knives half ass lunch inside and tossed them in the trash. I then snapped the lids back on the lunch and fruit bowls she was eating from, placed the contents into her locker and closed the door. I looked over at the clock next to the coffee maker and it read 12:40…I took down my jacket and decided to go outside and get some fresh air…

"This is the worst damn steak I have EVER eaten! You should take that chef you got back there, out front, and put a bullet between his eyes!"

"*angry twitch* I apologize sir, I can get you something else if you-"  
"Does it sound like I want anything else from your crappy ass menu!? Just get me a beer and get out my face!"

He shoved the food in my direction and went back to looking at the television screen. I felt like taking his plate and smacking the living daylights out of him! The obnoxious, flat faced asshole! Oooo, I hate some of these damn people! I looked over at Vash, who seemed equally turned off by the ignorant patron, and picked up his plate. I assured the man we would be back with his drink shortly and nudged for Vash to walk with me…the longer I stay here, the more I question my own sanity…

"*whispering* should I spike the guy's drink with something? Like rat poisoning, arsenic or a laxative?"

I almost couldn't contain the laugh that came from my mouth…that would be so wonderful…but I knew it would get us both fired, not to mention some jail time, so I shook my head no and continued walking towards the bar….

"*whispering* I don't know how you've done this for so long. I feel like socking one in every three people that comes in here."

"*whispering* you're telling me! This is more of a pub, so we get a lot of the drunk, rude and perverted assholes unfortunately."

"*whispering* I still think we should do something to that guy's drink for being so damn nasty."

"*whispering* I had every intention of making it as flat as possible. Then charging him double once his ass gets incoherent."

I got a wide grin as a response and I winked at him. The restaurant was getting its rush of regulars and I was just so thankful we would be getting off in the next three hours...six couldn't come fast enough. We walked back to the other side of the restaurant and I placed the chumps drink down on the table; nodding and then excusing Vash and myself as we went to take care of another order…he didn't seem to notice the difference in taste so I was happy my little revenge was going to be successful. I told Vash to switch with me, so he could deliver the next order and I could shadow, as we walked to the back to grab the plates. The two ladies we delivered our next order to, though a lot nicer than the old man, were perverted has hell, as Vash received countless sexual compliments and winks from them. Something inside of me stirred as one of them quickly pinched his backside and then retorted to crude remarks about how nice and plump it was…damn, indecent winch! Vash just smiled and playfully brushed it off; telling them to enjoy their meals as he began walking away...I turned to follow and we walked back to the bar to get our table number five some more drinks…

"You ok?"

"*irritated tone* of course, I am just amazed at how rude some people are."

I continued filling beer mugs as he looked down at me; my sudden frustration breaking through my phony façade as I almost dropped and broke one of the half full glass cups…

"Oh jeez!"

"Here let me take over"

He reached and grabbed my hand as I looked up at him. A soft smile was plastered on his face as he removed the mug from my grasp and began filling the last of the order. I could smell his faint cologne mixed with various food dishes on his uniform…I hadn't been this close to him in so long…I almost forgot how flustered I became once I did…I could feel my heart begin to race as the feel of his calloused hand touching mine was still burning on my skin. My face suddenly became warm and I backed away so he could finish…and to conceal my faint blush.

"Here, take these three, and I'll take the rest."

"Alright"

He handed me three full mugs and picked up the remaining four as we made our way back….I was still looking down slightly as to not give away my sudden change in demeanor. We got to the table and he handed his drinks out first and then I gave out the rest. They expressed their gratitude and we replied with our own. I then motioned for us to get back to the other guest and we left them…

We went about taking care of the rest of our designated tables for the remainder of our shift, jumping here and there, until meg pulled us to the side and indicated it was time for our last break and then to go home. We complied and went to the back to unwind and get ready to head home…I didn't pay much attention to what was going on around me those last few hours after he touched my hand…I was more interested in the way Vash's blond hair looked in the diming light, to how his striking features would change with each emotion displayed on them, than the various people we were serving. I was becoming mesmerized all over again with the beauty that was him…and then kicking myself all over again for it. I grabbed my jacket and purse as I was making my way to the back exit…I felt his strong hand grip my arm and I jumped slightly, surprised by the sudden contact…

"Hey, are you sure you're ok? You seemed to be zoning out in there towards the end."

I still am…

"*nervous smile* Yea, I'm fine, just have a lot on my mind is all! I hope you enjoyed your first day here; sorry if this placed freaked you out in anyway. Well, goodnight Vash"

I was trying to break away from his grasp but he wouldn't let me…

"Vas-"

"Let me walk you home."

"No, no that isn't necessary-"

"But I would like to. I, uh, would feel more comfortable with knowing you are safe."

I gave him another tug as to tell him I would be fine, but he was persistent. I don't have the energy to keep fighting him…I tried pulling away one last time and finally gave out an aggravated groan, broke down and shook my head yes so he could let my damn arm go. He smiled excitedly, grabbed his coat and followed me out the door, letting go of my arm, finally, once we were outside. I began walking a head of him but he was too fast and quickly caught up… damn it…I just wanted to be alone so I could sort through all these crazy emotions that were resurfacing again and he wouldn't leave me be! Arggghuh! Is a moment to myself really that much to ask for?!

"Sooo…do you want to talk about anything?"

"*grumbling* noo…."

"Well…I guess I'll talk about something then!"

"*grumbling* please, I just-"

"Who was that who called you earlier today?"

I paused from grumbling and continued walking…why was he being so nosey all of a sudden…

"…."

"Was it an emergency? A family member or milly calling about something important?"

"*irritated twitch* nooo…"

"Then who-"

"It was matt! Jeez, why are trying to pry information out of me!?"

"Oh, I was just curious…"

I continued to walk without wanting to chat much; his mere presence was making me feel things I wasn't trying to feel, which in turn, was bothering the hell out of me. I thought he would catch on but, of course, he didn't…

"How is matt, if you don't mind me asking?"

"….he's fine"

"Oh. That's good to hear…is he still working at the same place?"

"*taken aback expression* I never told you-"

"Milly told knives, who in turn, told me"

Damn milly….needs to keep her mouth closed about my personal business…

"…..yes. He is the CEO of his own company.…"

"Ok…."

I looked up at him and he seemed to be thinking over something very intensely….I was about to ask what It was when he said something that caught me of guard…

"*curious tone* So why doesn't he pick you up after work? I'm sure he doesn't get off as late as you do"

"Why does that matter?"

"Isn't he concerned about your safety?"

"Yes, but-"

"But what?"

"I am perfectly capable of walking myself home. I don't need him to drive from the outskirts of town to come and get me to drop me off at my house which is only fifteen to twenty minutes away from here, walking distance. I think that would be ridiculous on my part."

"If he cared about your safety, it wouldn't matter."

"*irritated tone* I never said he didn't!"

"Well, then why isn't he here then? Why am I walking you home instead?"

He was looking at me with those damn eyes that seemed to be searching through my very soul! Why the hell was he coming down on me like this!? What did the stipulations of my relationship with Matthew have to do with him?! He was starting to piss me off…

"Look Vash, I don't need you interrogating me about something that doesn't-"

"I was just asking. I know it isn't any of my business."

He looked away from me and stared out into the horizon of various cars and people walking up and down the street….one in every five people I seen was holding these new oversized umbrellas that were being sold at every grocery store and clothing boutique. Most well to do women had small ones, which didn't do anything for them with weather like this. We got to the corner of the block with the dark tan house and I stopped; he looked over his shoulder and seen that I wasn't moving and turned around to face me, stopping as well.

"I think I'm ok to walk the rest of the way alone now."

"Mer-"

"You should get back home Vash, before it gets too late and the rain starts up again. Thank you for walking with me this far."

I smiled at him and turned the second to last corner which lead to the house…I waited to hear footsteps behind me but instead, heard him call out to me…

"Well, I'll stand here and watch you until you get out of my sight. You have a good night Meryl!"

"*yelling* Yeah! You too…."

I waved goodbye and hurried down the path…the whole time I kept looking back to see if he would go back on his word and be gone but, like he promised, he was still standing there watching me until I hit the last corner which lead to the house. I stopped to look at the fading man in the distance and he waved one last time before I turned the corner away from his sight…

"Goodnight…Vash"

I watched her disappear behind the corner building and then turned around and went the opposite direction….

"I think what I said got to her….good"

I was smiling the whole way home as I felt the wheels of my devious plan slowly, but surely, beginning to turn…

_/ two weeks later /_

"*speaking softly* matt stop, your embarrassing me"

She was looking around at the countless people watching me flirt and tease with her while we sat in the lobby. I smiled wickedly as I continued my blatant advances…

"*speaking softly* What if I say I want to take you somewhere…and make you model for me while wearing only the boots to that uniform…"

Her face lit up like a beacon and she began to laugh and hiccup uncontrollably. I loved messing with this girl…

"*speaking softly* Matt! Someone can hear-"

"And?"

I started poking at her side and she continued giggling and pushing my hand away. I really didn't care about the people staring or the women shooting us evil stares…I was having too much fun flirting with her to take much notice; I then leaned in to kiss her briskly on her ear and she turned an even deeper shade of red…I couldn't help myself from laughing…

"Matt, stop, I mean it! *laughing* please!"

"*annoyed tone* oh, just get a room already!"

We both looked up to see the tall, blond haired man standing to the side of us with an annoyed look on his face.

"Are you two going to order or what? I really have better things to do than watch you sexually molest each other"

"Oh Vash, ummm, yeah, I'm sorry"

She scooted away from me; picking up her menu and began ordering her late lunch…he was quite the nuisance, wasn't he…

"I'll take the stew with a small side salad. What would you like babe?"

"I'd like the grilled salmon with asparagus and mashed potatoes."

"*dryly*Great, you want anything to drink with that?"

"Water for me"

"I'll take a glass of your best tasting Zinfandel, thanks"

"Sorry, but we only carry beer, spirits and cocktails here. You want a beer, spirit or cocktail?"

I could feel my patience wearing thin. I looked at Meryl and she smiled nervously as to say 'sorry, he's right' and I picked up the drink menu to see what I could find…

"Ok…I'll take a Schlafly Kolsch then"

"Alright"

He grabbed our menus and walked back towards the kitchen…I didn't care for that guy much…

"He seems to always get agitated whenever I am around."

"Vash!? No, he is just tired. We have been here all day almost and we both can use a break."

"Hmmm…."

I wonder why she sticks up for him so much…last week when I dropped by he acted the same way. He was making sly remarks about us without trying to be too noticeable and then gave me the cold shoulder as I was saying goodbye. I was surprised to see him here though; I didn't realize they worked together. Regardless, I didn't appreciate his confrontational attitude then and I don't like it now. Meryl didn't seem to notice at all…I would be lying if I was to say it didn't bother me slightly…but, then again, maybe I am just being paranoid….

"Hey, you thinking again?"  
"Hmm?"

I looked over to see a set of violet eyes looking at me warmly…suddenly the frustration I was feeling began to melt away…

"No, but if I was, it would be about how fortunate I am to have someone like you"

"*blush* you're such a sentimental."

"Is that a problem?"

"No…"

I kissed her softly and then pulled away, as to not draw too much unwanted attention. She always made a point to let me know how much she disliked displays of open affection around large groups of people…I smiled and looked over to the hanging television which was directly across from us. The news was on and I was hoping nothing about my family would pop across the screen…

"They say the rain may be replaced by something called 'snow'. The temperatures have been steadily declining, so I believe it."

"I've heard of it. A weather anomaly which used to occur during the winter months on earth."

"Yea, they said as much….but how is gunsmoke experiencing weather anomalies that only transpired on earth?"

"I can't tell you sweetheart, but, hopefully it won't make the people here any worse drivers than they already are"

We both laughed at the comment and she laid her head down against my arm as we continued to watch the news…

"*grumbling* Bastard is all over her like he doesn't have any damn sense. Doesn't he know this a public place where everyone is watching them?! Does he not care about her feelings on the matter?"

I waited for their orders in the kitchen as I continued fussing with myself quietly…

"Fake ass, rich boy."

I didn't like him at all…something about him just rubbed me in all the wrong ways and this is even before I got to know him…ok so, I've only met him twice, with today marking the third, but all the notions of me thinking he was a 'nice guy' went out the window as I sat there listening to him speak last week. The ass was so full of himself, I thought I was going to gag on his syrupy mumbo jumbo…and this is ME I'm talking about! I'm all for love and romance but come on…do you have to be so damn overbearing with it? 'Oh Meryl, your eye's sparkly like the rain drops falling from the sky', 'you're voice sends me to places I never been before' blah, blah, blah, shut the hell up! What a load of bull! I don't even say cheesy ass lines like that…

"Vash, stop daydreaming and take out the orders"

I snapped out of it just in time to see the head chef looking at me as if I was crazy….

"*half smile* Oh, yeah, sorry"

I lifted the tray and used my leg to push the door open…I said excuse me to the short, hostess kid Mikey as I made my way through the hall to the eating area; a couple of girls were smiling at me but I wasn't in the mood to flirt right now…I needed to deal with a certain pompous asshole who had his arms wrapped around Meryl. As I came closer to their table, she lifted herself up and pulled slightly away from him to acknowledge my presence…he seemed annoyed by this…I'm glad…

"Here you go Meryl, a small salad, with stew and a water."

"Thank you Vash"

"You're welcome Meryl"

"*throat clearing*"

"*dryly* oh, yeah, here's your grilled salmon with asparagus and a beer"

"Wait, I didn't order this. I wanted a Schlafly Kolsch"

"*waving hand*sorry, we're all out of that right now. You'll just have to settle for a Heineken like the rest of us"

"*grumbling*"

He shot me a quick dirty look and I just smiled; anything to get under your perfectly even skin…jackass. I sat down across from them and was rewarded with another dirty look from him and a confused look from her…

"I wanted to wait before I left to see if you liked the food"

"That's very thoughtful of you Vash, but you don't have too-"

"Yes, we will be more than happy to let you know once we are finished eating."

"It's pretty slow in here today, so I have time to wait."

"*annoyed tone* I insist that you wait for us to finish."

"I'm not doing any harm by sitting here am I Meryl?"

"Well I,-"

"*annoyed twitch* I will not be able to enjoy my meal properly if you are sitting there staring at me"

"*annoyed twitch* Well, I'm not just here for you am I, matt"

"*angry tone* Look, you-"

"Ok, enough! Vash, my lunch is almost over so why don't you just wait for me to finish and I'll let you know how everything was once I get back on my shift."

I could see the pleading in her eyes and exhaled loudly…

"Ok…enjoy your meal Meryl. Matt, you do the same."

"*dryly* thank you"

I stood and gave them a fake smile as I walked back across the main seating area to the bar. I placed my tray down on the bar counter and looked up at the clock…

"Almost 7. Another hour to go."

I looked across the way; watching them eating and speaking between bites, him scooting closer and closer to her until they were practically bumping arms…clingy bastard aren't we…I turned my head in disgust and rubbed my weary eyes. The mere sight of him made me want to drop a vat of acid on his head and watch him dissolve to nonexistence…

"Oh man, I've been living with Knives too long. His sick, twisted mentality was starting to rub off on me."

I pushed myself from the counter and walked over to Mikey who was standing at the hostess desk looking bored to tears…

"Too slow for ya, mike?"

"*yawn* no, I like the peace and quiet for once and plus, it isn't that slow in here."

I looked around and every table was filled with someone and a couple of customers were at the bar as well, so I guess he was right…but compared to most nights, this was heaven...

"Then why the long face?"

"I have a midterm I've been cramming for. Between work, school and my overly active girlfriend, I'm beat."

"*eyebrow raised* When you say 'overly active girlfriend' are you implying she wants to go out a lot or are you trying to say…"  
"It's the second one."

"That's nothing to be complaining about!"

"I'm not! It's just, I'm tired as hell you know, and with this university work kicking my butt and then here demanding so many hours out of me, she is draining all the little energy I have left! I think I might need to distance myself from her before Mikey jr., falls the hell off!"

"Wait…did you just call your-you know what, never mind"

I shook my head and he cocked his to the side as if he didn't understand…teenagers…

"Well, it could be worse…"

"*evil grin*Yeah, I could be a lonely, twenty year old like you, uh Vash"

"I am not lonely, besides, at least my privates are safe from falling the hell off."

"Like you said, there are worse things…"

"Asshole…"

"Lonesome bastard…"

We both laughed and I could see in the corner of my eye Meryl standing up and fixing her work uniform…

"He's lucky you know."

I turned my eyes back to look at him as he stretched behind his workstation….

"What did you say?"

"I said that guy, Matthew, he is lucky"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because…he has a women like her."

I turned my head to look directly at the pair as he gently placed a kiss on her cheek and whispered something her ear. The gesture made her blush lightly and smirk….I could feel my anger resurface and I redirected myself another way…

"Hey you ok?"

"*dryly* Yeah, I just need to get back to work."

I walked away before matt made his way to the front door; I was thankful for the loud noises going on around us or I would've had to hear the idiot's voice one last time before he said his goodbyes to Mikey and left…

"Good riddance…"

Meg called for me to finish up my last table so I could clock out…

"*Ok, thanks meg!"

"No problem, shug!"

I ran to the back to see if the table ordered anything while I was talking with Mike and then made my way back to the group of partially sober men to see if they needed anything else….

"Hey Meryl wait up!"

She turned around to wait for me as I ran up beside her…I smiled at her and then we continued walking…

"So, how was it?"

"How was what?"

"The food!"

"Oh, it was fine. The salmon was a little over cooked for matt but my stew was delicious."

"Oh, well I'm glad you liked your meal at least *smile*."

"Yeah. I feel kinda bad though"

"Why's that?"

"This is the second time matt's meal has come back with something wrong with it."

"That's not your fault; you shouldn't feel guilty."

"You're right…so are you enjoying yourself now? It's going on two week since you started and you seem to be getting accustomed to everything."

"*happy tone*yeah, it's been great. I really like the people I am working with."  
"*smile*I'm glad."

"You're one of those people you know."

"Oh, I didn't really put much thought into your comment; I guess I kinda figured as much but, thank you."

"Wow…"

"*puzzled expression* Wow what?"

"That hurts."

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

"You don't put much thought into the things I say to you Meryl?"

"*nervous laugh* That's not what I meant," her hands were waving back and forth as to indicate no, as she went on, "I mean, of course I do! I just didn't with that comment; that does sound pretty bad now that I said it over again."

"Yeah"

"Sorry"

She gave me the sorriest expression she could think of and I tried not to laugh…she was so cute when she acted like this….

"It's ok, I forgive you*smile*"  
"*smile* Thanks"

"Meryl?"

"Yeah, Vash"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead"

"When you are around Matt…why do you allow him to do things to you that makes you uncomfortable?"

She paused for a moment but continued walking; silence answered me for a while and I was just about to give up hope when she took a deep breath and spoke…

"Is it really that noticeable?"

"What?"  
"That I get uncomfortable when he is around me! I mean, not as a person but when he starts being overly affectionate"

"Well, yes."

"*sigh* I tried to tell him before to stop but he seems to enjoy seeing me become a nervous, giggling mess. I wish-"

"*blunt tone* Maybe he doesn't respect you."

"What are you implying Vash, that he does it out of spite?"

"No, that's not what I am trying to say…but I do believe he doesn't care enough about your wishes to make you comfortable."

"….You're just making something out of nothing again Vash"

"NO, I'm being serious! Don't you think if he really valued your feelings and you as a person, he would respect your requests and stop? He has to see how much it bothers you, right?"

She stayed quiet as we continued in the direction of the corner where we had been parting ways. As the familiar dark tan house came into view, I became anxious and broke the silence myself…

"I'll race you"

"Wha-"

I took off running and she was yelling behind me to stop. I turned to look back at her, running backwards but still keeping a steady pace, as she came running up to me…her hair bouncing back and forth in the ponytail she decided to wear today. She was becoming slightly flushed as she continued trying to catch me and I felt myself grinning…everything about her always radiated something wonderful….suddenly everything started to go up as I could feel myself falling backwards…

"Vash!"

I hit the ground with a loud thud, my head smacking the pavement and somewhat whiplashing, as I felt the wind being knocked out of me. She finally caught up, knelt down next to me and started to check to see if I was ok…

"Vash! Vash! Are you alright?!"

"Ow…that was… fun *half smile*"  
"*eyes roll* you idiot! That's what you get for running backwards"

I rubbed the back of my head as I started lifting myself up and she grabbed my hand to help. I looked at her and she pretended to observe something elsewhere, as she tightened her grip around my hand and helped pull me to my feet…

"I hope that knocked some sense into you"

"*laugh* yeah"

"Come on you goof, were almost there"

She walked ahead of me and I followed closely behind. I kept eyeballing her hand; swaying gracefully next to her sides, as I began thinking how much I wished I could have felt her actual touch…but the gloves made that impossible. Some place inside of me was yearning to reach out and hold her hand…to interlace my fingers with hers and walk side by side until we made it safely home, but I knew that was a bad idea which wouldn't end well for me, so I just shook the notion from my thoughts and allowed myself to focus on something else for the time being. We made it to the corner and she looked back at me…

"Hey, let me know when you get home ok"

"Meryl…"

"*nervous smile* no, it's not like that, I just want to make sure you're ok and don't have a concussion or something!"

She gave me an assuring smile and I felt my heart sink a little…

"Ok…I will"

"Goodnight Vash"

"Goodnight Meryl"

She then turned and walked down the street…I stood and watched her like I always did until she made it all the way down the five blocks and then spun back to wave goodbye; I waved back as she turned the other corner and was gone…

"I hope, one of these days, I can be the one to hold your hand all the way home…"

"Where are we going Matt?"

"Don't worry; it'll be worth it once we get there."

We had been driving for the past three days and I was starting to become tired, grumpy and extremely irritable…this damn surprise was starting to work on my nerves…

"Hey, I promise we're almost there. We just passed the town of Mid Montana back there so we should be in December in a couple of hours"

Had it been that long since I've traveled out this way, that I now was forgetting the major landmarks? Before Milly and I settled over in Yuba City, when we were still chasing down the infamous Vash the Stampede, I knew these lands inside and out. Now everything looked so different…from the small lakes forming around towns, green parks popping up in places no one in their wildest dreams would have imagined them to be, to the large sky scrapers being built up in almost every major metropolitan city, the world around us was becoming something out of a textbook from a land thought lost to us forever….

"So that is where we are going." I said dryly

"Yes, so now you know half the secret *smile*"

I tilted my head to look at him and he winked at me, giving me this expression that made it hard for me to stay upset with him. It had now been four months and three weeks since we started dating…we were approaching the big five and I was starting to feel the pressures of being in such a dedicated relationship. I finally used the keys he gave me for my birthday to visit him at his office; I still didn't feel comfortable to go directly to his home without him being there, but I didn't expect for him to become so ecstatic about me coming by on my own. He introduced me to everyone in the building he could get his hands on and then had me stay for the rest of the evening with him, as he gave me my own private tour of the entire infrastructure…I was pretty amazed about it and I guess that was why I agreed to come with him on another one of his long trips. The first one was to New Neo Jersey for some type of business venture he was a part of…now it's to December…it didn't seem like this trip was for business though….I guess I'll just have to find out, once we get to where ever the hell we were going….

"Would you like anything?"

"*stretching* no, I'm ok."

"Alright, I'm going to go pay for the gas and be right back."

"Ok, I'll be here."

He grabbed his jacket and proceeded to run over to the store. I reclined my chair and laid there staring at the dark red interior; my headache was somewhat subsiding but I still felt like crap…

"I bet its hectic back at work…"

Meg was pretty understanding about me taking two weeks off to go with matt; she even said my job would be waiting for me once I got back, which was a relief for me….

"I wonder if Vash is doing ok"

Ever since he started working at the restaurant with me, we were almost inseparable. So it made sense that he made a big fuss when I told him I was going to be gone for two weeks and he would have to get by without me, but the way he reacted still wasn't sitting well with me. I felt almost guilty to be here instead of back at work with him…

"Hey, do you need to get out and stretch at all?"

I brushed the memory aside to look over at matt, who was staring at me. I gave a weary smile and shook my head 'no' and he gave a nod 'ok. I laid my head back against the cool leather interior and closed my eyes...hoping he would hurry up so I could turn the heat back onto my freezing feet…

I rubbed my eyes; trying to get the tiredness out of them; I looked over to the sleeping figure besides me and then back at the road…we were about forty-five minutes out from December and I couldn't wait until we arrived. A yawn escaped my mouth and I reached over to turn on some music to keep myself awake…

"Let's see…"

**/ "Howdy! This is your favorite cowgirl giving you all the latest in country music-"/**

"No…"

**/ "BLUEGRASS ALL THE TIME, NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE!-"/**

"Can't stand bluegrass…"

**/ "Need a pick me up? Try our latest drink 'Cosmic July' and feel like you did when you were-"/**

"Damn, this is why I don't listen to the radio"

**/ " That was the latest from Horn freak Jay called 'Acoustic Summer', stay tune for our next set of cool jazz on 987.9…"/**

"I guess this will have to do"

I turned the volume up slightly as to not disturb her and continued our last trek to December….

"*softly speaking* hey babe, wake up. We're here"

She slowly opened her eyes and proceeded to stretch; I hope with the nap, she was now in a better mood…

"*sleepily*oh...how long was I asleep?"

"About two hours"

"Really….*stop stretching*so where are we exactly…"

"Well…"

She looked around at the foreign surroundings; trying to pin point what she was actually seeing…

"Are we inside a garage of some sort?"

"Yes"

"Why-"

"Let's get out and unload our things and I'll explain everything"

She looked at me confused as I opened my door and stood up; the cool garage air giving some life back to my tired body. She was standing on the opposite side looking around…I could still see the confusion written all over her face as I walked to the trunk and opened it…

"I don't understand; are we staying here, in this garage?"

"*laugh* no, of course not. We have to go out that door to get to where we will be staying."

"And where exactly is that?"

"You'll see"

"Matt-"

"I promise I'll tell you once we get our things and head up"

She gave me an irritated look and then rolled her eyes. I didn't like making her upset but I didn't know how to actually go about telling her where we were at the moment…she grabbed her coat and the umbrellas, as I grabbed the two suitcases and then pushed the button for the trunk to close back…

"I really hope this 'surprise' has a bathroom"

"*smile* it will."

I walked ahead of her so I could get the door…it was locked, so I knew they were not home yet…I placed my set of luggage on the ground, reached in my pocket and took out my spare keys. I then unlocked the door, opened it and allowed her to go inside first…

"A hallway with stairs…"

"Stop being sarcastic and keep going"

I bumped her from behind and she looked back at me with a smirk on her face. She continued up the narrow walkway until she got to the cream colored door and opened it…her face took a whole other look as she gazed inside the dimly light environment…

"This is gorgeous! Is this someone's kitchen?"

"Yes, just keep going babe, I'll tell you when to stop."

She looked down at me and I nudged my face up for her to walk inside. We walked slowly through the back half of the house; the kitchen, the main dining room which lead to the outside balcony, then down towards the front entryway. She passed one of the guest bathrooms and I nodded for her to go ahead…as I stood waiting for her, the faint sound of keys could be heard behind the stain glassed wooden doors. I braced myself, as the creak of the door opening and a soft voice became clearer…

"David, I told you not to tell him to take that detour to the winery"

"Give it a rest Katherine, you've been yapping away at my ear since we left the party"

"Well excuse me for wanting to be here for our son's arrival! It's not like we get to see him every day."

"*eye roll* Katherine, please…"

There they go arguing again…I hope this isn't going to be an ongoing activity while she is here…

"Who is that arguing?"

She was standing in the doorway of the bathroom looking down the hall…

"They are-"

Suddenly the sound of my mother's voice could be heard louder as I turned to see her standing there looking across the hallway at us…

"Matthew, my darling baby, you're here!"

She came running up and I looked over to see a very confused Meryl looking at the older woman approaching us…

"Darling baby?"

"I can explain, this is-"

"Matthew, it's so wonderful to see you dear!"

She then wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. Meryl was still looking at us like 'who the hell is this' as I seen the silhouette of my father slowly approaching as well.

"Matthew, my boy! So you made it here in one piece!"

"*smile* yes-s, how are you"

"And who might this lovely young lady be?"

My father walked past me to get a better look at my now bewildered girlfriend who seemed at a lost at everything happening around her…I tried to pull away from my mother, who was practically suffocating me, so I could introduce her to them…

"*struggling* Meryl this is-"

"David, but they call me Dave for short. And you are?"

"I'm Meryl…it's nice to meet you…"

My father took her hand and kissed it gently, making her step back; slightly blushing at the contact…never one to be reserved, are we dad…

"The pleasure is all mine"

"Umm*uneasy smile*"

I finally pried my mother's arms from around me and gasped for air…for a little woman, she had a firm hold…

"Meryl, *catching breath* let me properly introduce you to my parents."

She shot me a look of utter disbelief and I smiled nervously back at her…I knew she would react this way…

"Oh, this is the young lady you were talking about on the phone!"

My mother was encroaching on her personal space and I walked in between the three so I could give poor Meryl a break from the sudden revelation and my domineering parents. I turned to look at her and she still had a shocked expression on her face; I sighed heavily and continued...twisting my body to look at them all…

"Meryl, this is my Father, David and my mother, Katherine."

"Hello dear, it's nice to finally meet you."

"*monotone*….Mother….father…."

"Yes, my son here has told me great things about you! I am happy to see you truly are as beautiful as he described you to be!"

"*monotone*…his mother….and father….."

"Meryl?"

They looked at her in wonderment as she stood there in a daze…I said her name one more time and see shook her head and looked at me with wide eyes…

"*whispering*this is your surprise isn't it?"

"*whispering*Yes, I brought you here to meet my parents."

"Oh gosh…"

She looked back at them and I could see it took everything in her to not turn around and run. Thankfully, she put on a causal but still uneasy smile and continued introducing herself…

"I'm sorry for being so rude *hand extended* yes, it is very nice to meet you both as well. This is just such a pleasant surprise."

My mother smiled and extended her hand out to shake Meryl's. My father was about to lean in and kiss her hand again once he got a hold of it but my mother shoved him over with her hip as to tell him to stop. Meryl laughed nervously as he straightened himself and shook her hand instead…

"Yes, it is so nice to meet you. Come, let me show you where you both will be staying."

My father picked up one of the bags I had next to the wall and I lifted the other I placed on the side, as we continued our walk into the main portion of the house and up the stairs to the spare bedroom. I kept an eye on Meryl as to make sure she was ok and wasn't going to try and sneak away from us…once we got to the bedroom we would be staying at, my mother opened the door and my father placed my luggage on the floor….

"I know you two must be tired from all that driving, so we won't keep you much longer. Unfortunately, due to the time of day you arrived, all of the help is gone for the day. Our butler is in his quarters and I will get him up if you need us too."

"No mother, that won't be necessary."

"Well you two kids get some rest then and we will see you in the morning!"

They smiled at us and we wished them a goodnight. We walked into the room; me shutting the door as she made her way to the corner of the bed, sat and then fell backwards into the plush covers…

"I can't believe you didn't tell me this was your surprise."

"I apologize, I ju-"

"*irritated tone* I looked like an idiot standing there flabbergasted!"

"I know, I should have told you sooner but I didn't want you to get uncomfortable and want to go back. They have been anxiously wanting to meet you and I felt this was the best time to bring you here. I am sorry for not being forward with you about it."

I stood there as she turned her head to look over at me; she then breathed heavily and lifted herself off the bed to walk over in my direction…

"I am still a little uncomfortable about the entire situation but *pause* I suppose it is sweet you think enough of me to bring me to see your parents."

She stopped and reached over to take the suitcase from my hand…

"So from now on, no more unnecessary surprises *wink*"

"*smile* Alright"

She then grabbed my hand to release the bag and I bent down and kissed her…I am happy I brought her here. She pulled away, taking the luggage with her and made her way to the private bathroom…

"I think I am in love with your parents' home. I never seen anything so elaborate."

I walked over and leaned against the bathroom frame; watching her as she set the bag down on the tiled floor and reached over to turn on the bath….

"I am glad you like it."

"How could a person not like it?"

"Well, I grew up here and it was never that awe inspiring to me."

"That is because you are odd."

"*laugh* I have never been called that before"

"Well, now you have"

She smiled deviously at me and I could feel myself become slightly aroused…I lifted my eyebrow as she began to undress herself…

"Do you mind if I join you?"

She stopped midway and turned back to look at me; she just smiled and continued to remove her clothing…

"I guess that is a yes…."

I then began to unbutton my dress shirt and undo my belt buckle….slipping out of the restricting materials and letting them fall to the floor. She entered the tub with her back towards me and I entered in shortly after; the heated water felt good against my tired body and I enclosed my arms around her waist and sat there not moving…enjoying the peacefulness of it all…from her quiet breathing to the sound of raindrops hitting the slightly opened window… I was satisfied not saying anything at all…

Damn him….I know I shouldn't be so upset but I couldn't help it. After the bath and some intense fondling, we managed to get into the king sized bed before he passed out from sheer exhaustion. I was still getting myself situated as the light sounds of heavy breathing could be heard next to me…I thought I was ok after he apologized and admitted he was wrong but as I started to lay here, the realization of the situation really began to sink in. I was to spend a week and a half getting to know his parents. I didn't get a say in it, he didn't even allow me to say yes or no to me coming here! I was just stuck in this very awkward predicament until it was time for us to leave. Every inch of me wanted to hit the handsome sleeping figure but I knew that would have been wrong, so I had to settle laying here, cursing at him in my mind…after about an hour of not saying or doing anything, I got up to go get a glass of water. I grabbed the crystal teardrop shaped glass, filled it to the top and then sat down in the cushioned chair closest to the large window. I took small swigs, as I cracked the curtains to look out onto the surroundings…I didn't realize how far up we were! Their mansion over looked the entire city to where it seemed like we were floating above it; the lights from the small homes, apartments, and eateries looking like little flickering specks way up here…The only buildings that were in clear focus was the large skyscrapers which stretched above the house…how I slept the entire time it took for us to finally reach this magnificent place seemed amazing to me. He stirred slightly and I closed the curtain completely, darkening the room back so he would go back to sleep; he rolled over and fell silent once more and I then got up and made my way to the bed. I know I will get over him not telling me...and I know it will mean the world to him if I went along with everything and just enjoyed my time here…so, with all the power I have in me, I will try my best to not do or say anything that will offend him and or his family. I climbed back under the warm blankets and laid my head down next to his...suddenly becoming over taken by the urge to sleep…

_~ "Meryl…you're so wonderful…." "I am?" "Yes…I love everything about you…from your silky, raven hair to your sexy frame….those violet eyes and how you say my name…all of you makes me want to do things to you, that I have only imagined I could do for so long…" "I never knew" "I know, but let me show you…let me show you how much I love you…" "I…I don't know-""I won't hurt you" "I…" "I would…never hurt you…Meryl…" "….Vash…"~_

I jumped up, looking from side to side to see where I was...the clock flashed 4:20 and I tried to calm myself as I reached up to run my hand through my wet hair. My heart was pounding and I could feel the heat radiating off my body as I sat there readjusting my eyes to the darkness…oh gosh…I was having another one of those dreams again. I looked over at a lightly snoring matt and then up to the ceiling…how could I be in bed with him and be thinking of Vash? This is so wrong…every time I closed my eyes, his face would appear…his voice flooding my mind as he entangled his self around me…making my body scream and yearn for something I could never have…why was my conscious doing this to me? Why was it filling my head with these damn fantasies again! I brought my head back down onto the pillow and laid there all hot and bothered… it's a vicious, never ending cycle….so unfair, I wanted to reach inside myself and yank every feeling and desire I had for Vash out so I could be content…can't I just be content, with the person I am with now? I am such a fool…a hopeless, broken up fool…

"Hey Vash! I'm having a new year's party next week. You should come"

"Thanks Mikey, but I think I'll pass."

"Why? You have something else better to do?"

He was looking over at me while I was finishing up cleaning off the tables with that dumb expression I came to associate him with. I wasn't in any mood to explain myself, so I left the question open for interpretation. I continued wiping down tables; arranging the salt and pepper trays on the ends of each side. I was doing anything that would keep my mind preoccupied…Meg then came around the bend and shouted for us to hurry up…

"I do have a life outside of work that I would like to get back to."

"Really, like feeding those 13 cats you own?"

"Go to hell mike."

She rolled her eyes at him and walked back into the kitchen….

"*confused expression* was it something I said?"

"Your mouth is going to get you in trouble."

"What, I was just stating the obvious. Meg isn't married and she has no kids, so all she does is go home to her overabundance of cats. She knows I didn't mean it to be offensive."

"Even you saying it like that makes it sound offensive."

"Do you think she will cut my hours for tomorrow?"

"What?"

"I have this giant final I have to do for class and I really need to get off early."

"You don't stay focused for very long do you Mikey?"

"What did you say?"

"*dryly* my point exactly…"

Poor kid needed to lay off the alcohol….it was killing the little brain cells he had for school and everything else. I shook my head and laughed to myself as I picked up my dirty rags then headed in the direction of the kitchen…mike followed closely behind, saying all kinds of random things while we made our way to the employee room…

"Hey, so you really should come by next week. I think it will be good for ya to get out and meet new people."

"Mike-"

"No seriously! My girlfriend is inviting over all her little college chick friends and I will be having over a couple of my buddies and family members, so if you come it would make it complete!"

"*sigh* if I say no, you're just going to keep harassing me about it until I say yes, right"

"Pretty much."

"Alright then."

"So you'll come"

"Yea"

"Great! Would you be bringing anyone with you?"

My mind flashed over to milly and knives and suddenly the idea of getting us all out the house for the holiday sounded better than before.

"Yea, two actually"

"Awesome. Oh and wear something casual but nice. Some of the girls have been dying to meet you."

"Why would some of your friends be dying to meet me?"  
"Oh, I told my girlfriend about you when she came by to see me three days ago."  
"*disturbed expression* why would you be telling your girlfriend about me?!"  
"Don't get your panties in a bunch; she was in here not too long ago when I was out sick and she came back asking about you. I guess she thought you were extremely attractive, she even joked about leaving me for you."  
"That's got to be the most unfortunate thing I've heard in a long time."

"Wha?"

He was digging though his locker and didn't catch the last thing I said…I guess it was better that he didn't…

"Nothing mike, I'll keep that in mind."

"Ok. Do you need a ride home?"

"No, but thanks for offering"

"No problem Vash."

I grabbed my lunch bag and change of clothes and headed towards the door; he trotted behind me as we shouted goodnight to Meg and walked out. Once in the alleyway, we said our final goodbyes for the night and then parted ways, him going to his car and me walking back towards the apartment. It was 11 at night and I didn't think knives would still be up due to him having to work in the morning…I yawned loudly and continued down the street; looking around at the quieting environment. Most of the shops and stores were closed by now, except for my favorite late night donut shop, but I didn't really feel like donuts tonight, which scared the hell out of me seeing I was never one to turn down a good box of the delicious pastries. I looked around at the few late night walkers holding hands as they made their ways back home together…probably planning on spending the rest of the night in each other's arms…while holding each other in bed…OH GOSH IM DEPRESSED! Every little thing now was making me emotional and why? Because she decided to leave with that asshole for two whole weeks…leaving me here to painfully await her return. I looked up to the sky, the single sun and moon creating a bluish black hue which was very reminiscent of her hair and eyes…even that reminded me of her! I looked down and quickened my pace…I needed to get home…I needed to get away from everything that put me in the mind of her…

"Hey, you're awake"

"And"

"I thought you would've been asleep by now"

"I took the day off"

"*raised tone* really! You never take days off! Are you feeling ok knives?"

"I'm fine you idiot. I have something I need to do tomorrow, so I am not going in."

"Oh…"

I locked the door and hung my coat up on the hanging hook mantle milly got us a while back then walked over to the couch and sat down. Knives was flipping through channels as I watched the various images skim across the humming screen at an accelerated rate…the couch was becoming quite comfortable as I felt my eyelids grow heavy while I sat there…

"Hey"

"Hmm…wha"

"Get up and go shower. You smell like onions and sweat"

"You don't mind the smell"

"Like hell I don't! If it was that pleasurable, I wouldn't be telling you to take your funky ass and get cleaned up, now would I?"

"*whining*….im too tired-"

"Get up before I force you too"

"*huff*…..fine"

I slowly lifted myself up and sat there; I could feel his icy blue eyes watching me with irritation and I used the last bit of my energy to stand up completely. I walked over to the kitchen to grab something to give me a boost so I wouldn't collapse in the shower while I bathed…

"Here we go"

I grabbed a lukewarm energy drink and shut the refrigerator; opening the beverage, I proceeded to the bathroom. I flicked on the light, walking up to the shower and then turned the knob….the water streamed out slowly then faster as I began setting the temperature. I stuck my hand out to check if it was about right and then began to take off my clothes, closing the door and then slipping off the tight fitting boxers before entering the hot water. I grabbed the scented body wash from the caddy, squeezing a fair amount into my sponge, and started to work it into my wet skin…my mind wondering to a place it wasn't supposed to be…..every place I made contact with, I imagined it to be her small hands…thoughts of her against me as she stroked me up and down…pressing her nude form against my bare back and causing me to turn and face her; picking her up and placing her against the wall as she straddled me and I crushed my lips against hers….I could feel the familiar haze starting to creep up and I placed my head against the warm tile surface…It took everything in me not to reach down and touch the throbbing member that begged for release…I closed my eyes and tried to picture something else…anything else…a sudden banging on the opposite side of the door did just that…

"Are you dead in there?"

"*raised voice* no, what do you want"

"It's been almost a half hour since you went in there, I just wanted to check to see if I needed to dig a ditch for you somewhere."

"*raised voice* Very funny knives."  
"Whatever. I'm going to bed."

I heard his heavy footsteps going away from the door and I lifted my head up; I didn't realize it had been that long since I started…

"I better hurry this up before I do wind up passing out in here"

I placed the soapy sponge back into its designated place, picked up the shampoo and squirted the cold liquid into my hair, messaging it into my scalp. I then proceeded to rinse both off, running my fingers through the soft mane to get the remaining soap out and then turned the knob to off...I grabbed my large, cotton towel and dried off; wrapping it around myself as I brushed my teeth, combed through my wet hair, and then reached over to flick the light back to off. I picked up my dirty clothes and put them in the clothes bin and strolled off to my bedroom; I could still feel myself pulsating underneath my towel and I cursed to myself. Do I have to fantasize about her every night? I shut the door, walked a few, and fell onto the bed; looking up at the gray ceiling as I undid the towel from around me. She was in the arms of another man and I was stuck here wishing he could have been me; I was in a better place mentally when I was still confused about my feelings towards her…all this staying up late crying for her wasn't a reality…I was ok…how did I allow her to do this to me? I was upset because the plan I thought was working, to tear them apart and leave HIM depressed, didn't seem to be working after all and I was frustrated because the more I was around her, the more I wanted her to myself. I didn't know how to describe the hatred I felt for that arrogant prick she was seeing and I couldn't stand myself for not putting my feelings aside to function properly…I was falling apart and I didn't know what to do about it…

"Mikey was right….I am a lonesome bastard who needs to get laid"

Maybe if I found someone like her….no…..there was no one like her….that was the problem…all the women I flirted with, all the countless girls I could be with, and I managed to fall head over heels for the one I was destined to never have. I was driving myself nuts continuing to think about it….I was so tired…tired of always fighting myself…tired of trying to force myself not to love her. I was tired of everything…this was why I felt so depressed. This is why….

"*saddened tone* I wonder how you are doing out there….are you thinking of me. Or do I not even cross your mind…"

My tears were starting to form and I rolled over to muffle the sounds of my heartache. I was thankful for the day off I had tomorrow…I didn't want to do anything but lie here…lie here and dream….

"Meryl…."

"That my dear is snow"

"That is snow. That's it?!"

"Yes, you seem surprised"

"Well, I was expecting something more elaborate I guess."

"*laugh* I am sorry Mother Nature has burst your bubble then!"

I smiled at the comment and continued to walk across the landscape towards the outhouse Matt and his mother were waiting for us in. After being here for two days I was starting to feel more comfortable around the couple; I could defiantly tell where Matthew got his charms and sentimental demeanor from. Katherine seemed more of the responsible one out of the two when it came down to personal matters but she was still very romantic and reserved. David was outgoing, humorous and flirtatious, almost the opposite of his wife. But they made it work and raised a son who took the best from them both and became a wonderful man…like I had thought, my anger towards him subsided and I was left feeling blessed and exultant to be around him and his loving family.

"So, before we get there, is there anything you would like to know about my son that he might not have told you about himself?"

"*pause* well…"

I guess how many girlfriends he had before me would be nice to know….or maybe not…they all probably were wealthy super models…maybe…his most hated memory…no…I should reserve that for him to tell me…wow….I really didn't have anything to say to this…

"No...Most of his secrets he already told me"

"Has he told you that you are the only woman he has ever brought by to see us?"

"*surprised tone* Wait, I am?"  
"Mmm, hmm. You also are the only one he actually spoke willingly about over the phone."

"*soft tone* ….I didn't know that…."

"I just wanted to let you know how truly special you are to him"

He smiled warmly at me and for a minute I thought about milly. I felt so bad leaving her at the house alone like this…with Eric being gone again and me half the time being at work all day, we barely got to spend much time together. I was happy she had her own work, Vash and knives to keep her company at least….especially knives…he seemed to be the light that kept her going…she may never verbally admit to it but he brought something out of her that only nick could…and I was forever thankful to him for it…

"Ok, last chance, I got some really juice stuff on him too!"

"*laugh* no, I'm happy with all that you have told me already"

"Alright. You're a good woman Ms. Stryfe. If I was a lot younger and UN betrothed, I would probably make you mines as well."

"*blush* oh…well thank you sir"

"Dave, remember. Sir makes me feel too old."

"Yes, how could I forget"

We then approached the front door of the outhouse and he knocked…some shuffling went on before we heard the lock unlatch and was greeted by the smiling figure of Katherine…

"Oh you two finally made it back. Come in, come in"

We stepped inside the warm enclosure and began stripping off the bulky clothing, jackets and boots we had worn to get there. The place was cozy and lavishly decorated as with everything else around the estate…we made our way to the small couch and she brought us over some warm tea she had brewing on the stove.

"Where is that son of mine?"

"Oh, he went to go get some firewood. He should be back shortly. Did you enjoy seeing the snow Meryl?"

"It was…intriguing"

"Poor girl was expecting something much more spectacular."

"Well, it is the first snow fall ever to blanket December and since none of us is use to it, I can understand why she was thinking it would be made of gold or be much different than what it was."

"Yes, you could say that."

"I suppose your right Kat"

"Yes, I know dear"

We all chuckled softly and I brought the hot beverage to my mouth, taking a quick sip, as the sound of the knob turning and Matthew stepping inside caused me place the drink back down and look over to him.

"Ah, there is my boy"

"Hey, did you two have fun?"

"Yes, your father is a great guide"

"No need to flatter him, dear"

"*hmph* if she thinks I'm a great guide, then she is entitled to say so. I am happy someone around here recognizes it!"

"You see why I said not to flatter him. He is full of himself enough already."

"*annoyed twitch* well, I have to be, my wife sure doesn't give me praise when I need it"

"That is because if you had it your way, I would be on the ground groveling every day"

"*blunt tone* isn't that what a wife is supposed to do? I am the one who keeps you living in luxury; enjoying all the finer things life can give you. I deserve some gratitude once in a while"

The argument started to escalate and I could feel a sweat drop roll down the side of my face as I began to laugh nervously. I didn't enjoy being the reason they were arguing and I felt the urge to stand up and run out before they began throwing things at each other. Luckily, matt stepped in before things transitioned from bad to worse…

"Ok! So where do I put this dad? Mother, I think Meryl would really enjoy helping you start dinner"

"Yes, I would enjoy that very much!"

"Oh, I almost forgot about dinner! Come over here Meryl, I'll show you what I had in mind"

"Great!"

I stood and fast walked over to the little kitchen area, grateful for the break in them arguing for the time being…Matt and David then began placing the wood inside the fire place and discussing some type of business arrangements David was planning in the coming month. I turned to look at Katherine, who was placing some premade dish on the counter and then taking out some lettuce, tomatoes, onions and round bread slices and putting them to the side. She then pulled out a garnished meat and set that on the table; presetting the oven so she could begin heating up the two main courses….

"*fake enthusiasm* everything is already made, I see"

"Yes, the chef knew about our little outing and prepared some dishes for us yesterday evening."

"How nice of him to do that…."

I don't think she understands the phrase 'show you what I had in mind'….that implies she had something she was going to be cooking in her mind…not this. This took the fun out of helping her fix dinner….sometimes I wish rich people would just be normal and make something for themselves; at least matt cooked his own meals every now and then….

"Here, help me cut up these vegetables so we can have a salad"

Oh goody, I get to help make a salad….this will take all but two seconds to do…I went over to the sink and rinsed off the lettuce and tomatoes, then took out the cutting board and began slicing…

"So Meryl dear. Do you have any siblings?"

"No, I am an only child like Matthew"

"I see. Do you stay in contact with your parents and relatives?"

"Yes, I write and call every couple of months to see how they are doing"

"So more of an independent type."

"I guess you can say that"

"Do you value family and structure, Meryl?"

"I, well, yes I do…umm"

And begins the interrogation by the overzealous mother….I was hoping this would never come….

"Do you live on your own dear?"

"*anxious tone* no, I have a roommate"

"Oh, and I assume this is a young lady such as yourself"

"*anxious tone* yes it is…"

"Hmm….so eventually you both will be settling down with someone. Do you plan to still work once you get married and start a family?"

"*nervous stutter* Oh, uh, well, I haven't really put much thought into things like that…"

Oh no, I need to change the subject! Next she is going to ask how many kids I want to have! I am not ready for these types of questions right now!

"Do-"

"Mrs. Katherine, how would you like me to arrange the salad? Would you like it to be served in this bowl or set out on the plates themselves?"

"The bowl will be fine, dear"

"Ok"

I quickly ran over to place the salad on the small, round table; walking back to the couch then sitting as to get away from the endless barrage of questions. Matt sat down next to me and I laid my head against his shoulder…he smelt nice…

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, just a bit tired"

"*softly speaking*my parents aren't getting to you yet are they."

"*smile* no, I am fine."

He lightly placed a kiss on my forehead and then looked over to watch his mother and father arrange the plates and silverware on the table.

"They can be great, when they want to be."

"All parents argue. I think that is what keeps them going."

We smiled at each other and then turned to watch the growing fire dancing inside the fireplace….the beautiful red, yellow and orange flames bringing warmth and security as I sat there lost in my thoughts…

After dinner, my parents bid us goodnight and left to go get ready for bed; Meryl and I finished cleaning up and made our way back to our private room. The snow was lightly falling over the landscape and she grabbed a hold of me tighter as the cold air blew gently around us. I wanted to have these types of moments with her all the time…I wanted to be the person she could run to and depend on regardless of the situation. The snow was becoming deeper as we reached the last path that lead to the side entrance of the house. She tried but was having a hard time crossing so I lifted her up and carried her the remainder of the way; causing her to became flustered by my display of affection and I held on to her tighter. I still found it cute how she would react but I hope she gets more comfortable with it becoming a staple in her life…I opened the door with the hand I had less weight on, stepped inside and then allowed her to dismount from my arms.

"You go on ahead. Would you like anything from the kitchen before I head up afterwards?"

"Sure, how about some coffee"

"Ok"

I went to the restroom to relieve myself and then to the kitchen; the butler was still awake making a tray of various condiments for my parents, as I walked in. He looked over to me and asked if he could make something for us as well and I shook my head no. He then lightly bowed and took his leave in the direction of my parents' bedroom. The coffee machine was still hot from the coffee my father must have asked Alfred to bring up for him… I reached for a mug in the top cupboard and began pouring the steaming liquid into it; grabbing a bin of shortbread cookies as well. I replaced the pot back into its dispenser and left, walking carefully to the room then knocking on the door for her to open it for me...

"Here is your coffee and some cookies I thought you might like"  
"Thank you babe"

She took both items for me and set them down on the end table next to the bed, asking if I would like some while I undressed. I answered no and continued focusing on unbuttoning my thick snow pants and peeling off my wet sweater. She had already showered and was ready for bed as she sat down and began sipping on her coffee while reading over a newspaper. I walked over to the desk next to the bathroom entryway and picked up some notes I left in regards to tomorrow…It didn't look like she disturbed them and I continued to the shower.

"Would you like to go into the city tomorrow?" I yelled out as I stepped into the still warm enclosure and turned on the water.

"Yeah, that would be great. Did you have anything in mind?" she yelled back.

"I did, unless you had something specific you would like to do" I yelled out once more as I lathered myself with the oatmeal scented soap.

"No, nothing in particular."

I turned to see her standing outside of the shower and I started again…

"Alright, well do you think you can be up and ready by 10 tomorrow?"

"Sure. May I ask where we are going?"

"I made some arrangements for us at the opera house and some other revenues afterwards."

"Oh, well I didn't really bring anything fancy-"

"That is why we are leaving early, I was going to take you into the city to pick out an outfit."

"Then I guess I really will be ready by 10"

"*laugh* I am glad I gave you something to be motivated about"

My eyes were covered with soap as I heard her walk back towards the bedroom…I rinsed the remainder of shampoo out of my hair then turned off the lukewarm water. I was excited about tomorrow…I wanted everything to go smoothly so when the time came to ask her she would be in the best of spirits…I dried myself off, placing the towel back on the rack and began my nightly regime of moisturizing, grooming and brushing my teeth. Once finished, I slipped into a fresh pair of boxer briefs and made my way to bed. She watched me get under the covers before turning off her side of the lights and nuzzling close to me. I reached up and flicked my side off as well; wrapping my arms around her as I closed my eyes and let her sweet fragrance lull me to sleep….

"How is everything going? Do you like this one?"

"Well, I don't know...what do you think?"

She stepped out from behind the curtained off area to show me. I signaled for her to do a quick twirl so I could see every angle and then raised my eyebrow…I looked over to the older gentleman helping us and he frowned as we both shook our head's 'no' in agreement…it was a well-crafted dress with a nice plunging neckline but it wasn't quite right on her…

"I didn't think you would like it. I don't have enough boobs to fill it out"

"*laugh* no, you don't-"

"MATT!"

"But it's ok! We will find one that compliments your body just right"

She rolled her eyes and made her way back to the fitting room; taking off the ill-fitting dress and throwing it over the curtain. The stylist took the dress and exchanged it with a more heavily sequenced one. I wasn't one for overly flashy attire but it was a subtle color, so I was hoping it would be nice on her.

"I believe this dress will look marvelous on you. It accentuates all the right curves while still being slightly conservative."

I wasn't really looking for conservative either…

"Ok, I'll try it."

She reached out and grabbed the gown from the hanging hook, bringing it inside with her.

"*whispering* if it doesn't work sir, then we have three other gowns she can try."

"Alright."

We waited patiently for her to get into the gown and then show us the end result. I looked over at the clock and it read 11:15. We still had plenty of time before the show began to find her something else if needed…I sighed lightly and continued to wait….

"It didn't look like much on the hanger"

"Oh I know sir, it is one of those dresses you have to try on to see the true beauty of it."

"Hmm..."

Well then, let's hope it shows…

"Sir, do you think you can ask one of the young lady clerks to come and help me zip this up."

"Of course"

He left briefly; returning with a younger woman in her late teens. She looked at me and became red, almost tripping over the small foot stool at the entrance. I shook my head as she entered the area with Meryl…the stylist stood to the side of me as we waited a little longer….

"*whispering* am I that intimidating?"  
"*whispering* oh no sir! I think she just recognized you from the picture in the main office"

"Oh…"

I forgot how everyone here knew who I was…the young lady walked out smiling and then gestured for Meryl to come show us…

"Now, no smart remarks about my cleavage ok"

"Just come out and show us babe, I promise not to say a word"

"Yes, we will behave"

"…..alright"

I held my breath as her small hand slowly opened the curtain and walked out…my eyes grew wide as I gazed upon the gorgeous woman in front of me. He was right….she truly made that gown beautiful…

"*hands clapping* I knew it! You look absolutely fabulous madam Meryl!"

"Yes, the midnight blue does something wonderful with her skin and eyes! What do you think sir?"

"I…"

I was speechless…I didn't think she could become more stunning than she already was but from the way the strapless dress created an propped up look to her cleavage and then clung tightly to her waist and hips giving her a perfect hourglass figure….I was thoroughly mesmerized…I felt like I was looking at her for the first time all over again…

"*blushing* please, I don't look that great…"

"No, you look much better than great"

"*deeper blush* thank you matt"

"So I take it you will be getting this one sir"

They looked at me and I smiled…

"Yes, I will be purchasing this one"

"Great! If you would just step over her madam, we will begin getting you ready!"

"Ok…"

She gradually walked over to the makeup and hair area to finish her transformation and I felt a light tug on my arm…I looked down to see the teen girl pointing for me to go into the other waiting area. I left them and proceeded to the far side of the boutique to find my own tux as well…

"They told me to tell you that she is ready for you, sir."

"Alright, I'll be right out."

I pulled the gold, silk tie to the correct position and slid my fitting jacket on to finish. I stepped back to check if everything looked precise and then slide the curtain open and stepped out.

"That suit looks wonderful on you"

"Thank you. Here is the money I owe you"

I handed her the large wad of double dollars and watched her as she walked over to the register, entered in the purchase, placed the money into the safe and then brought back my receipt. I nodded my head in appreciation and began my walk back to the main entrance of the large establishment...

…..Once I reached the front door, the male stylist signaled for his coworkers to bring her out and then called for our driver to pull up front. I looked up to see her descending from the stairs in angelic form while the two young female stylist followed closely behind with her coat and hand clutch. I couldn't describe the way I was feeling as I watched her slowly make her way towards me…my insides did flips and I felt frozen in time….was this what love at first sight felt like? She reached me and touched my hand; I then held on to her tightly and beamed…

"You ready matt?"

"….I am"

The gentleman stepped in front of the door and pushed it open; opening the large umbrella and escorting us to my parent's short limousine outside…we entered the vehicle then waved goodbye as the driver edged away towards the opera house.

I sat at the table, in a daze…the sound of the powerful music coursing through my body even after we left the hall. I was almost moved to tears by the performance and could still feel sobs threatening to escape as I sat there waiting for my food. I had never seen an opera before and wouldn't soon forget it….I looked at the single bird fly by the darkened glass and exhaled gently…He couldn't have picked a better place to finish the day with; the eatery overlooked the recently developed geo plant in the heart of new December. I gazed upon the frozen lake and snow covered trees in amazement…so much has changed…I would have never known I once worked here if it wasn't for the familiar 'Bernardelli Insurance' sign flashing a couple of blocks away…

"Daydreaming again Meryl?"

"I-no, where you saying something?"

"No, I was just watching you stare out the window"

"I'm sorry. I became transfixed on the beauty around me"

"No need to apologize, I was marveling at yours as well"

"*light laugh* you really know how to turn the charm on, don't you"

"I wouldn't be me if I didn't"

I was about to reply back, when the well-dressed waitress came up with our food…I never had anything delivered to me on a silver rolling tray before…well, look where you are Meryl. All the patrons had on expensive garments, the dishes on the menu didn't have prices next to them, and there was security up front managing who came and went; not to mention the workers looked like they were going to a fancy dinner party themselves with their suits and decorative short dresses on. A poor girl like myself could never afford to come to a place like this without someone like matt…

"Here you are my lady. Broiled lobster with lemon and herbs served over fettuccini and fresh cut vegetables. And for you sir, grilled crab legs with garlic butter and asparagus. Will that be all for you"

"At the moment, yes. Thank you Natasha"

"You are quite welcome, sir. Madam. Bon appetit"

"Thank you"

She walked away and I looked down at my meal…even this was extravagant! The presentation was gorgeous; I almost felt guilty to destroy such a well-executed masterpiece…

"Wow, should I even eat this?"

"*smile* Of course"

"But…I mean, look at it. This must have taken hours to prepare"

"No, they pay people to make it look fancy and then serve it. It is just for show."

"Oh…"

I then picked up my napkin, placing it on my lap, grabbed my fork and began eating. I was pleasantly surprised on how delicious the food was as well...

"Do you like it?"

"*nodding yes*

"*smile* good"

I placed another bite in my mouth and became lost in the wonderful flavors dancing around my taste buds…

"Excuse me Meryl, I will be right back"

"Ok"

She watched me curiously, as I stood and left the table. Once I seen her redirect her attention back to her meal, I walked to the outside lobby and motioned to speak with the server. She greeted me and ask what I might need. I explained what I was trying to do and how I wanted her to carry it out; She smiled and agreed, taking the small box and placing the contents into a crystal wine flute…I thanked her then proceeded to walk back to the table and take a seat...

"Is everything ok?"

"Yes, everything is fine"

I smiled at her and she began eating again. I then replaced my napkin on my lap and continued eating myself, waiting for the young lady to bring over the champagne I requested…twenty minutes went by before Meryl spoke again…

"I wonder if their desserts are as tasty as their dishes. If they are, I am in trouble."

"You can try one if you like"

"No, thank you but I shouldn't"

"Its ok babe, if you would like a dessert, I will be more than happy to get you one"

"I…"

She paused and looked over to Natasha, our server, who was walking up with another silver rolling tray…she then stopped at our table, removed the contents from the platter and began to speak…

"Here is the dessert and champagne requested. Enjoy"

She gave us a wholehearted smile and left….

"So you already ordered dessert."

"I've been discovered. Are you upset?"

"No, how could I be."

"*smile* I'm glad. Now go on and try it"

"Alright"

She grinned and I watched her spoon a small helping of the chocolate mousse cheesecake into her mouth…she then placed the spoon down onto the plate and looked at me…

"That has to be…the best damn cheesecake I have ever tasted"

"*laugh*"

"I am serious!"

"You never cease to amaze me Ms. Stryfe"

"*smile* I suppose I should be flattered by that"

"I think so…because you are amazing"

She shook her head and reached for the thin crystal flute; placing the glass to her lips, she began to take a sip of the alcohol but stopped herself as she noticed an object floating at the bottom…

"What is that?"

She placed the glass back down and then picked up her unused salad fork; dipping it into the sparkling liquid and gradually sliding the foreign object upwards…she abruptly dropped the utensil down on the table as she caught a glimpse of what the item actually was…

"Matt, is that-"

"Well…yes it is"

I slid the flute towards me and finished fishing out the ring emerged inside….she looked at me with confused eyes as I began my speech…

"Meryl. You are the most unique, intelligent and good natured woman I have ever known. I am not a man who can easily say how I truly feel, even though you probably wouldn't believe me if I tried to convince you otherwise. Behind all the compliments and endless flirtations, all I ever wanted to say was that I love you and I need you to be in my life…I want to give you all that you could ever hope for and be the man you can depend on in your time of need."

I then stood up and got down on my knee next to her sitting form…

"Meryl Stryfe, my beautiful girlfriend, the woman I have been waiting for my entire life, will you do me the honors of becoming my wife"

She sat there looking at me as if she wasn't really seeing me at all…I tried my best to keep my composure as I waited for her to say something. When she began to cry I felt my heart sink because I couldn't tell if they were tears of joy….or tears of sadness..

"Meryl…."

"Why…why would you ask me this?"

She finally genuinely gazed upon me as the tears began to flow stronger down her flushed face…I reached up to wipe her eyes and she flinched slightly at the sudden contact…

"Because I love you…I want to love you for as long as this life will allow me to…please marry me Meryl. Let me give you all the happiness you deserve and then some…"

I removed my hand from her face and grabbed her left hand instead…I looked her in the eyes and she began breathing rapidly as I slowly slid the diamond engagement ring onto her finger….

"Be my wife Meryl….that is all I could ever want"

"Matt-"

Before she could finish, I leaned up and kissed her…I kissed her with all the love I could muster, as to prove to her that I wanted nothing more than to be hers and hers alone. I broke away from her and watched as her seductive eyes opened and studied my face…I smiled and the last lingering tears fell from her bluish-violet orbs, down her cheeks...

"Yes…"

"Yes"

"Yes matt….yes"

I then kissed her deeper and longer; lifting her up as the cheers from around the room broke through and caused me to squeeze her tighter…thank you Meryl….thank you…

I sat in the bedroom looking at myself….was I dreaming….there was a party going on behind the door celebrating a future union….but was it the right one? I didn't know what to do or how to feel…I was so torn up I didn't want to leave the room…I said yes…why did I say yes…I heard a soft knocking on the door and cleared my throat…trying not to sound like I was in any type of distress…

"Y-yes"

"Meryl, dear. Are you alright?"

"Yes. I am just *cough* reapplying my makeup. I will be out in a minute."

"Ok dear, let me know if you need anything"

She walked away from the door and I laid my head onto the cool dresser…

"I am going to be married…this is supposed to the happiest moment in my life...but all I can manage to do is cry…"

I knew this was the only way I could be happy…I knew he would love me and take care of me…I knew…I started to cry again….I just wanted it to be him….why couldn't it be him….

"How am I ever going to tell you? Can I really picture my life without you….please tell me….tell me what I should do Vash….what should I do"

I sat there with my head down the majority of the night….drowning out the load noises I heard in the background…the laughter and well wishes for the upcoming future…my future…with matt….

"Wow Mr. Vash! You look really nice!"

"Thanks milly! So do you!"

"*smile* oh this was just something I found lying around the house"

"You could've fooled me! Are you ready to go?"

"Sure am! Let me just grab my coat."

The big girl ran to the arm chair next to the couch, picked up the heavy garment, and ran back to the door…

"Is Mr. Knives waiting in the car for us?"

"Yeah, so you better hurry up before he has a hissy fit and doesn't go"

"Alright!"

She grabbed her purse from the coat rack and closed the door. Locking it, she walked down the three flight of steps ahead of me and then to the parked truck still running…she then opened the back door and hopped in. I closed the door for her and then proceeded to get into the passenger seat and turn to look at knives; he was sitting there in his black slacks and light blue, long sleeve sweater shirt milly had purchased for him earlier that week. I was glad he agreed to come, but only because I told him milly was accompanying me as well. I smiled at him and he snarled back…

"Hi Mr. Knives! I am glad you are wearing the shirt I bought for you! It really brings out the color of your pretty eyes"

She smiled at him and I could see the faint resemblance of a blush cross his face…he said something under his breath then shifted the car into gear and drove off…I tried to not smile harder as he continued to look straight ahead at the road….

"So wear the hell is this place"

"He said he lives off of main and tomas. The house will be the one all lit up with New Year's signs and stuff. Should take us twenty-five minutes to get there from here"

"Do you have any new year's resolutions Mr. Vash?"

"Just to stay healthy is all! Nothing too drastic though. How about you milly?"

"Hmmm….I guess to keep working for the city and to find a new boyfriend"

"Wait, what?! You and Eric broke up?!"

"Well, he said he needed some time to rethink our relationship and I said ok, so I guess that means we are no longer together in my book."

"Wow! And I only ever met the guy once!"

"*laugh* yea, but its ok! We hardly got to see each other anyway, so it won't be too hard to let him go. I'm just lucky to have good friends like you, Meryl and Mr. Knives to keep me company. How about you knives? Do you have any new year's resolutions?"

"To kill my coworkers and free my siblings from their endless prisons…"

I looked at him and he stayed focused on the road…I hated when I couldn't tell whether he was joking or being serious….

"*smile* well let me know how that goes. Just make sure to replace them once you are done"

I began to laugh and knives shook his head at the blatantly sarcastic comment. She always knew how to lighten up the mood…we continued driving until we started to see the bright, white and yellow lights flashing upwards in the sky…

"He really wants people to know where his house is!"

"Yea, he really has those lights blaring"

"I'm getting a headache already"

"Come on Mr. Knives! It will be fun! Besides, it's New Year's Eve! You have to be loud and outrages, right?"

"Only humans would think being gaudy was something to be proud of."

"Really knives, lighten up. If we get there and you really can't stand it then I'll take you home"

"*grumbling* this is my car…how the hell are you going to take ME home in MY car….*grumbling*"

"I see it coming up!"

He stayed straight and there it was, Mike's house on main and tomas….I was actually expecting something smaller. We found an available parking spot on the street and parked. Knives killed the engine and I reached up to look in the mirror one last time before we headed in.

"You look great Mr. Vash! I promise!"

"I am just double checking my hair"  
"It looks fine, now come on"

We all opened our doors and stepped out. Knives came around the truck to cross the street with us and we proceeded to the large, brightly lit, duplex… I ran up first so if anyone answered the door from work they would know who we were, then banged firmly on the door so they could hear me over the load music playing on the other side. I waited for a moment for someone to answer but no one came…I then banged a little louder and still I didn't hear anything happening on the other side. I heard knives groan as I banged on the fake wooden door as hard as I could and waited… I was just about to say the hell with it and leave, when the sound of latches unlocking and hitting the door could be heard. I stepped back as the door swung open and a half-sober mickey stood there looking at me with a huge a grin on his face…

"Vash! You made it man!"  
"Hey Mikey! I see you've already started having a good time *smile*"

"Yeah, are those your guest?"

"Yeah!"

I signaled for them to come up to the door and they leisurely walked up the narrow stairs and stood behind me, looking at the slightly buzzed teenager…

"This is my brother knives and our longtime friend milly"

"It's nice to meet you Mikey!"

"*dryly* hey"

"Yo knives. Milly is it, you're really tall for a girl. Do you like *pause* play a sport or something?"

"*smile* no, but I have a lot of tall relatives! I just took after them"

"Oooooh, well ok. You guys come in and make yourself comfortable. There is refresh-refreshments in the back and food as well. There is plenty to go around so help yourself."

"Great! Thanks mike"

He moved out of our way as we walked into the darkly lit house; to the right of us there was a group of young adults hanging out playing cards and some type of drinking game. To the left, we saw a larger group talking, drinking and carrying on in the living room, while the music played loudly from the stereo system…we made our way to the back where the kitchen was and ran into another small group hovering over the refreshments.

*young woman* "Hey, get off the cooler bobby! I don't want your ass on my stuff!"

*young man* "Relax Marylyn, I'm not going to break it, I'm just trying to make the room stop spinning"

*young woman* "that's not my problem! Get off!"

She shoved him towards the floor and he basically fell off the side on his own; Landing with a thud and then looking over to us, laughing….interesting group of people…

"*whispering* Mr. Vash, do you think she will let me get a drink from her cooler?"

"*whispering* I don't know milly, we should ask"

"*hmph* what the hell did I agree to come to."

I tapped another young ladies shoulder to get by and she turned to look at me; she smiled and I could feel a uncomfortable feeling come over me as I smiled back…I hope she doesn't think I'm trying to come on to her, I just want to get to the drinks...

"Hi. And who might you be"

"*nervous chuckle* oh, I just wanted to know if I could get by you-"

"You have to tell me your name first cutie"

"*uncomfortable laugh* I, uh, well, umm-"

"Lady, get out the way"

Knives pushed past her before she knew what was happening and I grabbed a hold of Milly's wrist and hurried through the small group to the cooler against the wall. The young woman was still standing there talking with another young man as milly began speaking….

"Hi, do you think we can get a drink from your cooler?"

*young lady* "Oh, yeah, sure"

"Thank you, young lady!"

The girl and her male friend moved out the way as milly leaned down and opened the lid…

"She has Heineken, wild turkey, jack Daniel's, Smirnoff, some off brand called diablo's brew and bottled water. Which one would you like Mr. Vash?"

"I think I'll just take a Heineken for now"

"Alright! I'll take a Smirnoff for myself and Mr. Knives"

She passed me the cold refreshment and then grabbed her own. We walked back over to knives, who was helping his self to a plateful of fried Tomas meat and macaroni salad…

"I brought you a drink, Mr. Knives"

"Thanks"

"I wonder how many people are here."

"Your friend Mikey is quite the popular one!"

"Yeah…."

I looked around to see if I could find any other familiar faces but there wasn't any in the kitchen I could see…

"*mumbling* I wonder if she will be here…"

"What did you say Mr. Vash?"

"Nothing! Let's go find something to get into. What do you two say!?"  
"Yeah!"

"I'm busy eating"

"Oh come on Mr. Knives, let's go back towards the music!"

She wrapped her arm around his and his eyes grew wide as she dragged him towards the exit to the kitchen. I smiled and followed them out towards the crowded living room…it seemed like more people had ventured into the nicely spaced area because I could barely see the small couch I noticed when we first came in. I suddenly felt a slight pinch on my leg and I turned around to see a blond, green eyed girl looking up at me…

"You're Vash right!?"

"Uhh, yeah, and you are…"

"Nikki! I'm Mikey's girlfriend!"

She was yelling over the loud music as I tried to make out everything she said next…

"You look really hot tonight!"

"What!?"  
"I said you look really good!

"Oh, thanks! So do you!"  
"I have some friends I would like for you to meet! Come with me!"

The thin girl then grabbed my shirt and walked me to the opposite side of the house to the dining room area…I was trying to break free of her grasp but she seemed to possess super human strength in her buzzed state. She finally let go once we were in the presence of three other young ladies who looked like they were not over the age of 21…

"Britney, Alayna, Jana; this is Vash"

They all smiled and I could feel the anxiety creep up as they moved in closer to get a better look at me...

"He IS handsome!"

"We will have fun with this one"

"Let's get him drunk and take advantage of him"

"*uneasy laughter* ladies, uh, wait don't touch that! I, ummm, help!"

They were backing me up against a wall and I could smell the alcohol mixed with perfume radiating from their short forms. If I hadn't been so damn picky, I might have taken the red head home but I just didn't think I would have much fun with her…besides…I'm not really in the mood for any of this right now!

"I just came here to enjoy the festivities ladies, I don't really want anything else!"

"Oh don't be shy, we won't bite."

"We just thought you might want to go upstairs and get to know us a little better"

"We really think you'll like us once you get to know us"

Are all these college girls sexually promiscuous like this?! I looked over to Nikki who was just laughing as her friends continued trying to reach under my clothes and touch me in places I didn't let anyone touch…

"This arm is really interesting…"  
"Do you like kinky things Vash?"

"I think we are making him nervous"

"Ok *giggling* you need to stop! No, hey, I said stop!"

"Ok you three, that's enough"

They turned around to see Mikey standing there looking drunk as ever…I don't think he is going to be much help at this point…

"You *pause* three over stimu-over stimulated girls need to leavvvvve my friend alone. I don't need him coming back trying to kill me *pause* after he catches sssssomething from you!"

"Shut up Mike! We are not dirty like that!" said the red haired one, I think her name was Jana

"Yeah, go tend to your buzzed girlfriend and leave us alone!" the dirty blond and overly touchy one, Britney, said this

"Are you jealous he is getting all the attention right now? You had your chance earlier" and the kinky auburn haired Alayna said this with a hint of spite in her voice

"I wouldn't *pause* touch you three dirties if…if…what was I saying?"

Oh gosh, help me! Someone with a brain and sobriety help me!

"What a joke! Nikki get your boyfriend please"

"Come on Mikey, your too drunk to fight them"

"No, wait! Don't leave me here nikki!"

"But you have these three gorgeous ladies to keep you company Vash! Just enjoy it and thank me later"

"No!"

She winked at me and pulled the useless Mikey out back towards the kitchen…I got to get away from them…I just don't want to hurt them in the process. Think damn it! One reached up and stroked my hair as the other started rubbing my leg in a very inappropriate way which caused me to let out a yelp… suddenly I looked across the room and seen milly looking around as if she was trying to find something…

"Milly! Milly, over here!"

"OH, there you are mr…..Vash"

The three girls stopped and looked behind them at a very confused but disappointed milly.

"Mr. Vash, did you run off and leave us to hook up with these young girls!"

"No, I *sweat drop* I know this looks bad, but I wasn't trying to hook up with anyone!"

"Get lost old lady!"

"Yeah, we got him first"

Milly's face became scrunched in and I could tell she was annoyed by the rude young women and their unbecoming antics...

"Old lady! I'll show you old lady!"

Before they knew what was going on, the big girl grabbed all three by their hair and tossed them to the ground. They looked up at her shocked as she began pointing and shacking her finger at them; telling them they should be ashamed of their behavior and what would their parents think if they were here…

"Now you apologize to Mr. Vash for behaving this way!"

"*nervous laughter* no, no it's alright! Let's just get back to knives, milly. You ladies take care!"

I rushed out the room before milly could argue and I heard her calling out for me to slow down…thank the heavens for milly. Knives was standing by the entrance of the living room as I made my way to him…

"Where the hell were you!?"  
"Nowhere! Did you guys have fun while I was gone?"

"We danced a little!" I heard milly say as she came up from behind me, "But Mr. knives became shy and wanted to stop"

"*shocked expression* you danced!?"

"Drop it Vash!"

"Come on, let's go get some more food from the kitchen!"

"Alright!"

How was it so damn loud in this living room! We made our way back towards the kitchen; stepping over two drunk guys who decided to pass out in the middle of the walk way, and walked through the entryway…let's just hope I don't get any more unwanted surprises before the night is through….

"Are you sure you want to go alone? We can always celebrate the coming of the new year here."

"No, I promised mike I would go before the trip to December, besides, you don't feel like going out so I don't want to force you."

"I just don't like you going places alone at this hour"

"I'll be fine matt, remember, I was going places alone at all types of hours, before I met you"

"….yes but-"

"Plus I'll be driving your car. Nothing will happen, I promise"

"…alright. What time should I expect you back?"

"Well, I was planning on going home afterwards, so probably after I get off of work tomorrow"

"We really should talk about your living arrang-"

"Later, ok! Have a good night, babe"

I kissed him and made a dash out the door…I just wanted to get away for a moment without him being around me. I hurried down the steps towards the garage and pressed the code in to open it…

"Be safe babe, I love you!"

"I will! Sleep well!"

I walked into the garage, opened the door to his jeep, started the ignition and began down the driveway. He was still standing on the porch watching me as I waved goodbye and continued down the hill…I turned up the heat and allowed myself to get comfortable as I made my way to the party…

"I hope they are still there when I arrive. Its 10:50 now and mike said the party started at 8; let me hurry up"

I told milly I was planning on attending a party my coworker was throwing before I left town. This morning before I got off the phone with her, she informed me Vash asked her to go to the same party earlier this week. I was glad I at least wouldn't be there alone. I eased my way down the windy road until I reached the main intersection going back into downtown Yuba. I made the left turn and speed up; anxiously looking at the clock as I rushed to get there before it was too late…

"A lot of people are passing out already"

"The drunk bastards couldn't hold their liqueur long enough for the damn ball to drop"

"Well, there are still a good amount awake and partying. We should stay until it hits midnight"

"*dryly* I think we should leave"

"Oh come on knives! We've only been here since 9:50"

"Only! It's 11:15! I grew tired of these damn people over an hour ago!"

"What do you think milly?"

"Well..."

She looked over to the clock and started to think to herself before answering the question

"I suppose we can stay a little longer-"

"There you have! The majority wins! We're staying"

"*slitted eyes* I am two seconds away from beating your ass and leaving anyway"

"Stop being so damn uptight knives! Here, drink this and be happy"

I handed him the last of the Heinekens and started walking back towards the living room…

"Do you really think this is going to make me happy!?"

"No, but if I told you what I really thought would make you happy, you would probably strangle me to death, so I settled for the drink instead"

I continued out into the walk way and milly followed behind….

"*curious tone* is it really that bad Mr. Vash?"

"What really bad milly?"

"What makes Mr. Knives happy?"

"To him it is, but don't worry big girl. He still won't let it go no matter how much he tries to"

"*puzzled expression* Let what go?"

"I'll let him tell you that, one of these days"

She was still pondering what I could be talking about when I heard a faint knock on the front door. At first I thought I was hearing things but then I heard it again, but this time louder, and ran over to see who it was…

"What is it Mr. Vash"

"I think someone is at the door"

I waited to hear if the knocking was going to happen again and when it became a banging, I unlatched the lock and slowly started to open the door…

"There you are Mi-VASH!"

"Meryl! You came!"

I couldn't contain the giant smile that spread across my face. I was really hoping she would show and seeing her standing there in tight black jeans, a fitting purple sweater, heels and leather jacket, made the wait worthwhile…

"Can you let me in, Vash? It's kinda freezing out here"

"Oh, right, sorry!"

I stepped to the side and allowed her to enter; she caught a glimpse of milly and ran over to her…

"Milly!"

"Ma'am! How are you!? I'm glad you could make it!"

They embraced as knives made his way behind milly.

"Hello woman"

"Nice to see you too, knives."

Milly turned to smile at knives and he looked at me and then back to Meryl…

"Now you can be happy brother"

"Wha-"

"Hey! You thirsty Meryl! Let me show you where the refreshments are!"

I quickly grabbed her small arm and guided her down the hallway…I knew where knives was going with his sarcastic comment and I didn't need to make my reunion with Meryl to become awkward because of it…

"Hey slow down, dammit! I can't walk fast in these heels!"

"Oh, yeah"

I let her go as we entered the now empty kitchen and finished walking her to the drinks…

"There isn't much left but he still has some bottled water and wild turkey if you are interested"

"No thanks, I drank something before I got here."

"Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm doing ok in that department as well"

"Oh…"

"Well actually Vash, I wanted-"

Before she could finish, milly walked in and told us people were starting to gather in the living room to watch the last thirty minutes of the countdown. We both said ok and she left back out to be with knives…

"You were saying meryl"

"Oh, well…I'll tell you in a minute"

She then turned and left the room as well…that was weird…I closed the cooler and followed after them to the living room…

How am I going to do this? Why do I even feel obligated to tell him? I mean, he probably won't care…he might be somewhat shocked but…it wouldn't be something that really mattered to him…oh gosh, why do I always have to over analyze everything?! I sat down on the small couch and watched as the still present group of party goers conversed amongst each other while listening to the tiny television. Milly and knives were amongst them; she seemed to be trying to get some kind of answer out of him and he wasn't having it. Milly was a special woman to put up with that evil ass man, but, sometimes the heart puts up with crazy things…I sighed to myself as Vash entered the room and walked over to them…why did he have to be so handsome. If he was as ugly as he was slow at times, being engaged to Matthew wouldn't seem so bad but, as with everything else in my life, things didn't work out that way. There was more to just him being handsome that caused me to hold on for so long…his selflessness and kind heart were amongst them. I sunk deeper into the couch as I began to feel the familiar sensation of dread take over me…how was I going to tell him? I loved him for so long…how do you turn that off? I knew in my heart marrying matt was the right thing to do…so why did I want him to stop me so badly…I looked up to see Vash spot me and they all began walking towards me…

"Hey meryl, do you mind if we join you?"

"No, not at all"

"Do you think the rest of the people will wake up once the countdown begins?"

"They're drunk milly. I think it is safe to say they won't be waking up until tomorrow morning"

"*dryly* this is why I wanted to leave."

"*annoyed tone* knives, we get it. Just get over it already"

"Shut the hell up Vash"

"Come on you two! Let's try to get along for the remainder of the time we are here"

"I completely agree milly"

"*grumbling*"

"I won't say anything, if he won't"

Vash and knives looked ahead at the large group of people and milly looked over to me; whispering in my ear something about matt…

"*softly speaking* he wasn't feeling up to going out."

"*softly speaking* oh….did you still want to speak privately with Vash about it?"

When she said 'about it' I knew she was talking about my engagement. I told milly the night it happened and she swore she wouldn't say anything to the two plants…I was happy she kept the information to herself for once and was allowing me to tell Vash myself….

"*softly speaking* if you are, then can I suggest you do it now before the clock strikes midnight and we leave…"

She looked at me and I could tell she understood why I was so hesitant…she knew…all these years she had always been the one giving me encouragement and support when it came to the man we identified as Vash the Stampede. She never lost hope that one day things would turn out the way I desperately wanted them to but she also knew a woman could only take so much disappointment…I shook my head, as to show I agreed with her, and then reached over to tap the darker blond on the shoulder…

"Hmm?"

"Vash…can I speak with you in private"

He looked at me with those beautiful eyes and I almost lost my nerve…he shook his head yes then stood…

"I think there is a place to sit out back *smile*"

"Alright"

I stood as well and could feel the cold stare of knives watch us as we began our trek to the back door…

"We will see you when you get back, ma'am"

"Sure, milly. See you in a minute"

I walked slowly behind him as he cleared the way for us to pass…when we reached the rear exit, he opened the door gently and allowed me to go out first. I stepped out in to the cold, wet back patio area Mikey shared with the family that owned the other duplex next door and took a seat on the one dry place I could find. He stood over me and smiled…it took everything in me to begin speaking the words I had been rehearsing since the last night I was in December…I exhaled deeply and then started…

"Vash…I consider you a dear friend and someone I have grown to respect since our days traveling together. I know this may not matter much to you and I don't expect it to but…I wanted to share with you something that has happened in my life recently…"

I gazed up at him and I couldn't tell if he was really listening to me or not. He gave me a look to confirm that he was and I continued…

"I…I…"

"What Meryl?"

I could feel my tears forming and I looked away…no, please…please just let me say this…

"*speaking softly* I'm getting married…."

"What did you say, I couldn't really hear you over the countdown"

"I'm *long pause* I'm getting married"

**/"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"/**

I stood there…frozen in time….the loud cheers and sounds of whistles and poppers being the only things that penetrated my senses; her words stabbed at me like a sharp knife and I could feel my legs grow weak as if I was going to lose my balance and fall over…I took a step back and allowed her last sentence to register in my brain…

"Vash. Vash say something"

I stared at her and felt all the anger inside me bubble up as if I was going to explode from the inside out….

"You're what…."

"I'm getting marri-"  
"*furious tone* WHY!? You've barely known him for five months and you're going to marry him!?"  
"Vash, calm down!"

"I AM CALM!"

I was pissed…I was enraged…if I could look up in the dictionary for every word that meant upset, I would be it…how the hell…how could she?! How could she be engaged to that arrogant, stuck-up jackass!

"Vash, please!"

She stood up to walk towards me but I took another step back….she can't be getting married…she just can't…

"I just want you to be happy for me. Please, Vash. Tell me…tell me you will be ok…"

"*sarcastic/angry tone* I'm fine Meryl, I'm got damn wonderful!"

"Vash-"

"Look, if you want to marry that-that guy then it isn't any of my business, but don't act like I'm supposed to be happy about it!"

"Why Vash, why wouldn't you be happy for me?"

Her words made me stop and search within myself for the answer…I knew why….I knew why I could never possibly be happy about her being with another man, but…as I looked over at her tiny form and watery violet eyes I couldn't find the courage to say it. I valued her friendship more than anything else in the world and if I lost that by telling her my true feelings, then I wouldn't have anything at all…I stood there for what seemed like an eternity as I allowed all the anger I felt to subside and go back within me…I looked up at the clear, starry sky as I took a deep breath and let it go…

"Meryl…..be happy. If you love him, then be happy"

"Vash"

I looked back at her and smiled…with all that I had within me I smiled to hide the tears that were threatening to come up and reveal what was really in heart. I then turned and left…opening the door and walking past the remaining guest who were still in the kitchen. I could hear knives and milly call out to me as I reached the front door and turned the knob but I didn't want to be around them…I didn't want to be around any one….I just wanted to leave. I opened the front door and walked out…running down the stairs onto the sidewalk and then kept running….running away from what I couldn't have…away from the coward who couldn't even tell her…that I loved her….

I fell to my knees as my mind replayed him smiling and then leaving, over and over again…tears flowing freely down my face as the reality of everything became clear…he just…he just smiled and left….I was shaking as the sounds of my sobs became louder. I wanted him to see…to see how much I wanted him to tell me no….to say it was a mistake and for me not to go through with it…but he just smiled and told me to be happy….damn me! Damn me for every hoping for what was hopeless!

"Errrahhhhhhhh!"

I slammed my fist down onto the pavement and sobbed even louder; placing my flushed face into my hands as I allowed all my emotions to emerge; the tears and sobs taking over my sound judgment while I knelt there hunched over…two hands wrapped tightly around me and brought me close as I continued to cry….

"It's ok Meryl…It will be ok"

"*sobbing*"

She sat there with me as the guest began to leave…as the sounds of the cheers and horns became silent…and as my mind blacked out from exhaustion….

-/-/-/-

Part III

The wedding and sudden realizations

_/one week later/_

"Should I do the fruit salad or smoothie? What would you suggest Mr. Sales person?"

"Well, It all depends…do you like solid fruits or blended fruit better?"  
"I like them both"

"Oh, then this might be more difficult than I thought…"

The sales man breathed deeply and scratched his head trying to figure out what to tell me. I continued to stare at the tasty looking choices while he picked away at his brain; it was the first time in a long while that I got off earlier than scheduled from work and I was enjoying the extra free time. I smiled as I straightened myself back to a standing position after staring down into the glass. I then began to give him my final decision…

"*smile* a smoothie would be great!"

"Uhhhh *sweat drop* a smoothie it is!"

He grabbed the spoon and began placing the ice cream flavors I asked for into the blender along with some ice and fresh cut fruit. I really hope this tastes as good as it looks. I began humming to myself as a familiar figure passed by the reflective glass casing in the shop. I turned and beamed brightly as the person I though I saw was standing outside purchasing a cup of coffee…I ran to the door and opened it, calling out to him before he left back to where ever he was going…

"Mr. Knives! Hey, Mr. Knives!"

He turned to see me standing in the doorway waving my hands to get his attention. I caught him raising his eyebrow in response and then walking back in my direction.

"Hi Mr. Knives! Are you out for lunch?"

"No, I just got off work and decided to get some coffee. What are you doing over here?"

"Well, I got off work earlier than I expected and decided to come over here for something sweet! It's really nice that I bumped into you like this!"

"Yeah."

"Would you like to sit with me Mr. Knives? I am waiting for my order to be ready and would love the company"

I smiled at him and he sat down; at least I had someone to spend my free time with now!

"Young lady, your smoothie"

"Oh, coming!"

I hurried over to pay for the beverage and then back to the table knives was sitting at….

"Do you always dress like that to work?"

"Wha?"

I looked down at my attire and then back to him with a grin on my face…

"No, ripped skinny jeans and a snug fitting sweater isn't allowed. But I always bring a change of clothes with me just in case I get off early and since it actually happened, I was lucky I had them to change into"

"Hmm…"

He continued drinking his coffee and I sat down on the opposite side of him; pulling the top off the creamy beverage and picking up the plastic spork the clerk had given to me. I spooned up a large helping and brought it to my mouth; I smiled widely, as the flavors wrapped around my tongue and settled there...he was looking at me while I was doing this and I held the spork out for him to try…

"Here Mr. Knives, try it!"

"No thank you"

"It's really good and I can't possibly finish it all on my own."

I held the spork out in midair until he finally, hesitantly, grabbed the plastic utensil and spooned out a bit for his self. We continued sharing the dessert like this until the last portion was left, which he gave to me. I then thanked the store clerk and we made our way out; heading in the direction of his car. We talked some more along the way and as we approached his car, I stopped and waited to see if he was going to bid me farewell and drive away. To my surprise, he opened the door and signaled for me to get inside.

"Come on"

"Oh, ok"

I sat down on the cool, leather chair and he closed the door behind me. He then walked around to the other side of the vehicle, opened his door, and came inside. The truck came to life as he inserted the key and twisted it upwards; switching on his signal to let the other drivers know he was turning, then making a right onto to the street that brought us back to the apartment…

She waited patiently behind me as I unlocked the door and stepped inside. The blinds were all closed and the house was quiet, which indicated to me Vash still wasn't home and I told her to come in. She slid off her shoes and entered the cold apartment as I walked over to open up the drawn blinds. She made herself comfortable on the couch and I took off my work jacket, placing it on the hanging mantle by the door. I then walked over to where she was sitting and sat down beside her; grabbing the remote and clicking on the television…

"Even with the sun shining outside, it is really cold today. I wonder if the eclipse over the second sun will ever end."

"*dryly* You should be happy it came. This barren planet benefited from the freak anomaly."

"Yeah, you are right Mr. Knives but I'm still not use to it"

"If you are that uncomfortable, there is a spare blanket on my bed."

"Ok"

She proceeded to stand up and walk to my bedroom…I watched her swaying hips walk away and I began to feel a tingling in my gut…damn woman…why the hell did she wear such form fitting clothes today…every other time she has been by she has had on baggy jeans and a becoming top but ever since New Year's she's been dressing somewhat differently. Her shirts have had a lower neck line regardless if they were sweaters or dress shirts and most of the jeans she's been wearing now hug her hips seductively…showcasing the remarkably curvaceous body she actually had. It was irritating the hell out of me. I didn't like how my body reacted when she was around to begin with, but now…I almost felt the urge to go, throw her down on the bed and take advantage of her; seeing how her body really looked under those damn clothes. I tried to shake the thought from my head as she came back with the thick blanket…she laid the cover out across the couch and then strutted back around me to sit down under it…

"What are you watching Mr. Knives?"

I looked over at the T.V. and some type of boring soap opera was playing out across the screen…

"The hell if I know, I wasn't even paying attention"

"Oh. Well, would you like to watch a movie instead? I remember Mr. Vash telling me he got a couple of new ones for Christmas"

"Whatever, do what you want…"

She then removed the cover from over herself and walked towards the video case we kept against the wall. As she stood there I couldn't help but look her over once again…her hair was down and slightly curled, silhouetting her tall figure and making me take notice of her nicely shaped ass-wait, got damn it! She is a human, you idiot! Who cares if she happens to be an attractive one that you spend countless hours with, she is still a human! I scrunched my face together as the image of Vash crossed my mind…aggghhh, I'm starting to act like that ignorant buffoon; letting these damning hormones get the best of me… how could I allow such notions to even cross my mind…I rubbed my nose bridge and looked over to see her staring at me; those blue eyes seemed to read thoughts without even knowing it…

"Are you ok Mr. Knives?"

"I'm fine"

She continued to study me and I looked back towards the television….

"I found one that seems interesting, should I put it in?"

"Yeah"

She walked to the VCR, took the tape out the box and then pushed it into the machine. She then hurried back to the couch and placed the cover over her as I switched the view over to the movie screen; she scooted closer to me and I could smell the soft fragrance of lavender and oatmeal…the woman doesn't even realize what she is doing to me….I scooted over slightly to rid my senses of her feminine fragrance and yet she found a way to get closer to me once again. Whatever. I just won't pay her any attention. I tried to focus on the movie in front of me...the previews and then the opening credits indicating who would be in the movie…but I couldn't stop stealing glances at her. As she adjusted herself under the covers, she lightly brushed up against my arm and I could feel my body pulsate from the slight contact. Hell, how can I watch a movie with her when I keep thinking of is her instead! Knives, pull it together. Think negative thoughts, that works the majority of the time…fragile, useless garbage not worthy of my desire, empty headed…beautiful, amply shaped…that's not negative! I said negative, damn you! I got to get away from her…I don't like where my head is right now. I shifted in my seat and I could feel her looking over at me again…

"Mr. Kni-"

"No… don't say my name"

"I don't understand. Am I making you uncomfortable?"

I looked over at her with an expression that made her look at me with more concern; why would she ask me that? Is she really reading my thoughts? She looked puzzled and I found myself staring at her mouth a little too long…

"Kn-

"I said no…"

"But, I just want to understand"

"No you don't. You just need to watch the damn movie and leave me alone"

I felt her hand touch my leg and my eyes widened….where is that brother of mine when I need him…I need him to stop this…to say something stupid so I can stop thinking about her. I reached up to remove her hand and she squeezed tighter…I think she was trying to provoke me…

"*low tone* what are you doing?"

"I won't stop until you tell me what is wrong"

"I am telling you woman, you should stop"

"No. you've been acting strangely since we got here and I need you to tell me what I have done to make you act this way."

"…."

"Knives, tell me!"

I grabbed her hand and pulled it up from my leg…but instead of pushing her away from me like I should have, I found myself forcing her down on her back with the same hand up in the air as I hovered above her…

"You want to know *pause* why I shouldn't let you understand…."

I could see her squirm under me as I placed more of my weight on top of her…her creamy skin becoming slightly flushed as I moved closer to her…

"I don't think you can handle what the outcome will be…."

"…...what will be the outcome?"

Now I knew she was edging me on; I think she wanted what I was trying so hard not to do but damn if I didn't want to…I felt her move against me and the little restraint I had built up seemed to crumble away as a low moan escaped my mouth…

"*low groan* stop…"

"….I….I don't want to…."

Her eyes were taking on a different hue and I felt myself press against her more. I watched as her chest moved up and down at a slower rate and I then began to use my other hand to grip her leg; wrapping it around my waist as I pressed more of myself into her…this caused her face to grow redder as she moaned softly…the sound was all it took for me to disregard all the boundaries I established towards her as I pressed my lips against hers. The taste of ice cream and various fruits flooded my mouth, as I slid my tongue through her parted lips. she placed her free hand behind my head as she gripped my hair for a deeper kiss…I never thought it would feel like this…her moans and touch were sending my body to places I never experienced…how could a human woman do this to me…somehow she got her other hand free and was starting to pull at my shirt; I sat up and removed it for her and then went back to her supple mouth…I liked the way her hands explored my exposed skin as I began lifting her shirt as well. She helped me to take the clingy garment off and I stared down at her lush skin and still covered breast. I leaned over and began to kiss her collarbone; working my way lower as I caused her breathing to became labored and inconsistent… the place between her well developed breast tasted like that perfume of hers…I didn't know how much longer I could last without fully engulfing myself into my more than willing partner. She lifted herself up and I removed her bra along with the torn jeans…her lingerie was thin and matched her now removed lace upper half…my arousal was coursing throughout my body as I reached down to unbutton my loose fitting work slacks… she stopped me and started to undo them instead; gliding her warm hands down my hips as she worked the garment off then discarded them to the side. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her up so she could straddle the hardened bulge pulsating under my boxers as I began to suck on her neck…generating louder moans to escape from her mouth and making my member jump under her. I gripped her hips firmly and pushed her against me; causing my eyes to roll into my head and her to hug my face tighter into the area above her vocal box…I forced her down harder and the thin material still covering her taut opening became wetter…I can't take this anymore…I want to feel her on me…I want to hear her scream my name. I then stood up, holding securely to her legs, walked over to the neutral colored living room wall and pressed her against it…I looked at the disheveled woman staring at me with slanted eyes and smiled wickedly…she wanted this, so I will give it to her. With one swift motion, I removed her last article of clothing and then my own. I crushed my lips against hers once more as I positioned her to where I needed her to be and continued to explore her warm mouth. I pressed two fingers against her and she bit down on my lip which caused me to moan into her mouth intensely. She was slick, and I knew if I entered her now it wouldn't hurt her so I removed my fingers and slowly began…the heat combined with her tightness made the world around me disappear as everything was replaced by the human girl who passionately whimpered my name….

"Where are we?"

"It's is a shuttle dock"

"A shuttle dock? Any particular reason we are at this abandoned expanse of land?"

"It isn't abandoned, and yes it is."

"*puzzled expression* what do you mean it isn't abandoned?"

He didn't answer me as we continued walking down the open corridor. The place surly looked abandoned…the lot was vast, with only a hanger and large clearing for what looked like a spacecraft but the technology to fly out of orbit has never been found since The Great Fall, so why would he take me to a place like this? I started to fall behind and I quickened my stride, almost running into him when he abruptly stopped in the middle of the clearing. He then leaned down and brushed some sand off what looked like an old code pad; he entered in an arrangement of numbers and pressed a greenish gray button that flashed some sort of symbol. Suddenly, I felt the ground shake under me as the earth moved upwards and a small entryway formed in the sand….

"Come with me babe"

"You want me to follow you down there?! Nothing good ever comes from going down strange, dark stairwells."

"You'll be fine, sweetheart. I know where I am going."

"But-"

"Just trust me, I wouldn't take you somewhere hazardous."

He grabbed my hand gently and began guiding me down the darkened staircase. Once we got half way inside, the small entryway began closing and I could feel the sudden dread of claustrophobia take ahold of me as everything went pitch black…

"Is there some sort of light switch we can turn on…this is starting to make me uncomfortable"

"Give it a moment"

Just as he said that, bright LED lights flickered on and illuminated each side of the wall; causing me to cover my eyes from the sudden change in lighting. I opened and shut my eyes rapidly to try and rid them of the black spots that came along with the light change as I continued to tread cautiously down the steep stairwell behind him. We reached a dulled metal door with yet another code pad and he proceeded to type another set of numbers into the device and then place his thumb print to verify his identity…I could hear the sound of gears turning as the door began to slowly open and reveal a well-lit, padded hallway.

"* in awe* what is this place?"

"An underground bunker. Let's keep going"

"….alright…."

I walked closely behind him, as the floor lit up with each step we took; he reached out to place his hand on a pad that began scanning his palm print. For an underground bunker, it sure has a lot of security precautions. The door clicked open and he turned the handle and lead us inside…what I seen next was nothing short of amazing….

"Meryl, this is my father and I's launch station."

All around me, men and women in white and blue attire were sitting and working around an array of computers and large projection screens. I gazed around to see more people standing behind a glass window looking over papers and talking amongst one another. He pulled me along as he walked down to the far side of the enclosure. Another door slid open and we stepped inside to a large circular room with metal paneled walls; I looked ahead of me and gasped as I caught sight of the massive space craft attached to metal beams in the heart of the room. Men in bright, orange bodysuits were working on the exterior of the ship as others stood by taking notes…

"I can't believe what I am seeing…is that ship functional?"

"Almost. It is scheduled to be completed by the end of the month"

"How..."

"My great, great-grandfather found this place over 90 years ago. This ship was found here in nearly perfect condition but at the time, he didn't have the tools to make it function. My great grandfather continued searching for whatever information he could find with in the halls of this place and once he died it was passed down to my grandfather, who was the first to discover encrypted files in regards to the operating and piloting of the spacecraft. He and my father worked for the rest of his life restoring the crafts operating systems and engines. Once I was born and began working in my father's company, I was able to tap into the last portion of lost technology we needed to fully make the shuttle functional, with a little help from the project SEED ship that crashed in New Oregon 6 ½ years ago….."

I remembered the incident…the hurricane, the people who lived on that floating ship...the mercenaries who took away their happiness and killed them just to get to Vash…when Nicholas was still alive; I can't believe that was so long ago now…had it really been 6 ½ years already? My heart still aches when I think about those memories...all those painful memories…

"Meryl, are you listening to me?"

"Uh, oh yes, I'm sorry. I was just trying to comprehend everything you just told me"

"I understand. It is confusing."

I didn't want to tell him the truth about my sudden detachment. I could feel his grip on my hand grow tighter as his expression became somewhat serious and he then turned to look at me directly…

"Remember our first date babe? When I asked you, if you could, would you look at this planet from the perspective of the stars?"

"Yes, but what does that have to do with anything going on today?"

"After we are married, I plan to take you to see the stars…"

"Wait, what?"

"I want you to come with me and live my dream of finding out what is beyond gunsmoke."

I looked at him with the most dumbfounded expression I could conjure up. Was he crazy?! When I told him all those months ago I would love to see what was out there, at the time I didn't think it could possibly happen! I wasn't ready to up and leave behind everything I have ever known to go into space! I- what about my life here? How about my family and milly? What about…

"Meryl, I am not going to leave you behind to pursue this alone. Since you are my fiancé, I wanted to at least show you what I have planned for the future. I wanted you to be prepared."

"Matt-"

"I don't intend for us to spend the rest of our lives out there…but I do expect to be gone for a long while. This has been my dream since I was a child. For the past 15 years my father and I have worked to make this possible and now that it is becoming a reality, I want my wife to share it with me. I know it is a lot to take in and I didn't expect you to be fully taken with the idea right away but promise me you will open your mind to it."

"I-when…when did you expect for us to leave?"

"A couple of weeks after the wedding"

"Are you serious Matt!? How could you possibly think I can come around to excepting this in only a month in a half? The wedding is only three weeks away and right after you just want me to up and leave behind my family, my friends, my entire life?! Even though you say you have no intentions of keeping us gone for the rest of our lives, there is no guaranty you can keep that promise to me!"

"Meryl. I know it seems crazy, but I figure it will be a wonderful way to start our new life together. Just give it some time and I promise it won't seem as bad as your making it sound."

"Matt, no-"

"I'm not going to leave you here without me Meryl."

"*desperate tone* so, there isn't any negotiating this?"

"What do you have to lose babe? You're friends and family have their own lives to live and you have yours. Opportunities like this only come once in a lifetime."

Damn it! When he puts it like that, of course the idea seems more desirable…what do I have to lose? My job isn't necessary anymore, I've never really thought too much about the welfare of my parents when I put myself in all those terrible situations working for Bernadelli, milly has knives and her career for the city…and Vash…he doesn't need me around any way; I don't have anything to hold me back if I chose to leave this place and live my life solely with matt but…damn it…I still valued having them all there if I needed them! I stared at the starship with a sense of curiosity and hesitation….to see the universe…to leave this place…it all seemed so out there…but…what else is left for me here?

"*worker speaking* Sir, madam, we will have to ask you to step out for the testing of the engines."

"Very well, Meryl, let's talk some more about this after the fittings."

He guided me back out the metal sliding door into the working station, through the padded hallway and up the narrow stairwell we came down to get here….first the wedding and now this…I sighed deeply as the small entryway in the sand began opening and we continued in the direction of the car….

"*oopf!* does it….have to be this tight?"

"Well hunny, this type of dress is meant to be quite snug! Once you start walking it should loosen up a bit"

"I don't think I can breathe, let alone walk in this thing!"

"Oh stop being dramatic hunny! You look fantastic and plus, who said being beautiful was comfortable!"

"*grumbling*"

"Now step down and tell me if you see anything wrong so I can fix it"

She helped me down from the fitting table so I could get a better look at the gown. I looked at the different views the mirrors gave me; twirling this way and that so I could see if anything was wrong with the needle work or proportions of the dress. Everything looked perfect…the dress truly was stunning…

"Nothing seems to need fixing"

"Great! Once you get out of it, I'll add the finishing touches to it so you will look absolutely breathtaking come your wedding day"

"Yeah, breathtaking…"

This damn dress sure was taking my breath away, literally! I am glad I won't have to wear this thing longer than a couple hours. She walked over to me and began undoing the back ties to the dress. My air intake started becoming normal again as the material around my stomach became looser…

"Ok, you can get undressed and I'll meet you in my office"

"Ok"

The seamstress then left me to go to her front office as I changed back into my regular clothes. I slipped out of the heavy garment, replaced it back onto its hanger and proceed to put my skirt and blouse back on. I was glad the snow and rain let up since we arrived back in December a day ago but it was still really cold. I buttoned up the final button on my blouse and made my way towards the dressmaker's office…

"*on the telephone* yes, she is ready."

/person on phone/

"Yes, I'll let her know once she gets back up front with me."

/person on phone/

"Ok, I'll see you soon Mr. Matherson"

I waited to hear her hang up the phone before I pushed the cracked door open and stepped into the office.

"Oh good, your done getting dressed. I just got off the phone with your fiancé and he said he will be by momentarily to pick you up."

"Alright"

"Do you have any question for me while we wait?"

"Well, actually, is my cleavage supposed to stick up so high in that dress? I feel as if they are going to pop out if I bend over the wrong way"

"*laugh* hunny, that is the make of the dress. Once I put the finishing touches on it, it should give you better support."

"Oh…"

"Any other questions?"

"No…"

"Alright, Then let's look over some veil's"

She walked over and pulled out a decent sized book from her bookshelf as I sat down in the plush chair. She placed it between the two of us and then sat back down…

"Ok, so are you looking for a large veil or a smaller one?"

"I guess a smaller one…"

"The better question is, how are you planning on doing your hair?"

"My hair…"

I hadn't decided on my hair yet…there was still so much for me to arrange but I felt so rushed about everything…I wish I had more time…

"The way your face structure is you can wear it either up or down but the dress would look best with an up do"

"Ok, well if my hair is up, which type of veil will look the nicest with the dress?"

"Hmmm, I think a simple, elbow length veil would look the prettiest but it really is up to you hunny."

"Then I'll do that one."  
"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"Ok, well, here are a few selections of elbow length veils I have."

She flipped through the book and began showing me some designs. I was looking over each page as she was explaining each one, when the sound of her over hanging doorbell rang to indicate someone had entered her shop.

"Let me go check who that is, I'll be right back Meryl."

I nodded as she stood and walked over to the opened door. I continued looking over the various veils as she turned the corner towards the front entrance; I then heard her say Matthew's name out loud and her tell him I was in the office. I listened as their footsteps made their way back towards the room and revolved around as they both entered.

"Hey babe, how was your tux fitting?"  
"Fine. Are you almost done?"

"Yes, we were just trying to decide which veil I should get."

"It's ok hun, if you two need to get going I understand. Just take the book with you so you can take your time deciding and let me know before the week is out."

She smiled at us both and I lifted the book from the table. I stood up, expressed my thanks to her and then matt and I made our way back to the front door…

"See you sometime next week Meryl. You take care as well Mr. Matherson"

"*jointly* take care"

He opened the door as we both waved goodbye to her and left.

"*random little girl speaking* I wanted some popcorn mommy!"

"*random mother speaking* I said no, the movie is about to start and you never finish the bag anyway."

"*random little girl speaking* but mommy…."

"*random mother speaking* I said no, now come on before I take you home"

I was standing in line waiting to get a drink as I watched the mother drag the little girl away from the confection stand. Poor girl, I feel your pain.

"Hey blonde, you gonna order or what?"

I broke my gaze from the mother and child and looked back to see the clerk staring at me impatiently.

"Yeah, one large cola please.

"That will be 4 double dollars"

"Here you go."

I handed him the four bills as he filled the cup and placed the lid on it.

"Here's your drink."

"Thanks"

"Next in line"

I left the confession stand and made my way towards the room that contained my showing. I had been staying out late watching movies for the past week as a way to take my mind off things; they always put me in a better mood. I sat down in the poorly padded seat and placed my drink in the cup holder. I looked around the darkened room and only seen 5 other people were seated in the theater with me. The film began rolling and I looked up at the large, colored screen as the various previews began playing...

**/ coming soon to a theater near you: he was a dangerous renegade. She was the heiress to a small ranching empire. Their paths met and their lives would never be the same. **

**"I never knew life could have more meaning then just violence and bloodshed" **

**"…..if I can change him, then maybe I can make him see that life doesn't have to be the way he was raised to know it."**

**"If I die….at least I can die knowing you…"**

**High octane action and romance in this Wild West epic! "For the Price of a Dollar" coming soon /**

Wow, that looked terrible. I won't be going to see that….two more previews came on before the screen went dark and the heightened sound and credits for the main picture began playing….

….well this movie is slow. Twenty-five minutes into the flick and I was starting to fall asleep. This is going on the list of movies not to purchase once they come out on tape...I continued trying to stay awake as my mind started to wonder….

_….I'm *long pause* I'm getting married…_

_…..I want you to be ok….Vash….why wouldn't you be happy…_

I jumped in my chair as I looked around at the still dark room…the movie was still playing and it didn't seem like I dozed off for too long. I leaned over and began rubbing my eyes as the memory of that night lingered in my subconscious...the way she looked at me….the hurt interwoven in her features…at the time I didn't notice it because I was too angry to see. She didn't seem very happy telling me she was getting married...she seemed very sad. Why…why would it be so difficult to tell someone you considered a friend you were getting married? The question nagged at my conscious; after I ran away from her that night, I hopped on a bus to the next town. I didn't want to be around anything that reminded me of her. Staying here since then had allowed me to actually sit down and really think about the conversation we shared. It still ate away at me…the thought of her being with that bastard for the rest her life, infuriated me to no end but maybe she didn't want to be with him either…was that what she was trying to make me see? Was there still hope for me? No, what am I saying….she accepted…if she didn't love him, she would have never said yes…..right? Trying to figure this out was giving me a headache. I sat up slightly in my chair and stared at the two actors exchanging gun fire between each other….I should go back…but will I be able to face her? Will the burning question that has been flooding my mind be able to come out correctly? Or will I choke again and look like a fool. I know I am silly for still thinking there is a chance for me but…I need to know…I need to know why she had so much hurt in her eyes and why she spoke to me with way she did…if I don't go, then I'll lose her forever…and the thought of never seeing her again was worse than asking what was eating away at my heart.

"*teary eyed* I won't lose you Meryl! Not like this!"

"*man in back row* what the hell! Sit down you idiot! I'm trying to watch the movie!"

"*man in front row* will you both shut the hell up!"

"*female and male on end seats* shhhh!"

"*whispering* sorry!"

I sat back down and tried not to make a sound. I looked straight ahead at the main character who was giving a speech to the main antagonist as I came to the decision about what I was going to do…

*whispering*I'll go back…and this time, no matter what happens, I won't run away…"

"*on telephone* yes mother, we will be by before we leave town Wednesday"

/person on phone/

"Yes, you can send out the invitations for our side only, Meryl is still trying to decide who to invite from her own."

/person on phone/

"Yes, we are fine over here, I-"

/person on phone/

"No…no we don't need more than that..."

/person on phone/

"Mother-"

/person on phone/

"Mother I really need to go"

/person on phone/

"Ok, I'm hanging up now mother…"

/person on phone/

"Alright, you too mom, goodnight"

I clicked the end button on my cell phone and tossed it on the bed.

"If she wasn't my mom, I would un-invite her."

I threw on my jacket and opened the door to the hotel room we were residing in while we were still here in December. My mother was making a huge fuss about the size of the wedding and how many people needed to be in attendance. She didn't seem to understand what we meant by 'slightly large but not an extremely large' amount of people. She thought the whole damn planet needed to be invited. Trying to get her to understand was like trying to pull teeth…

"I need a drink"

I pushed the button for the elevator and waited patiently for it to arrive. I looked down at my watch and it read 6:18. Meryl had gone to go get milly from the sand steamer almost two hours ago; she must have taken her out somewhere before heading back. The ding of the elevator door opening echoed through the hallway and I stepped inside. I pressed the button for the bottom floor and watched the golden doors slowly shut as I stood there digging in my pockets for my pack of gum.

"Having a good evening, Matthew?"

I turned around to see an attractive woman about my age, staring over at me. I wonder how I didn't notice her when I entered the elevator…

"Hello…do I know you from somewhere?"

"*eyes rolling* tst, wow, you can't even remember a girl you went out on a date with? Do you get around that much Mr. Matherson?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Michelle"

"What-"

"My name is Michelle Dominque. Your mother introduced us at a dinner party almost a year ago."

"Michelle…"

I looked the tall woman up and down, trying to jog my memory as to which dinner party she could've been talking about but nothing about her, or her name, rang any bells in my mind. I was about to tell her she must have been mistaken, when it dawned on me. Michelle. Now I remember. Oh gosh, I never thought I would ever see this woman again.

"Oh, that Michelle. Funny me running into you here, how are you?"

"*dryly* I've been fine, seeing how you never called me back after our first and only date."

"*nervous smile* Well, I thought it was obvious we didn't have very much in common after I said goodnight to you that evening"

"*eye roll* obvious to you maybe but I thought we had a great time together."

"Well, I apologize for leading you on then."

"*dryly* yeah, whatever. It's ok though."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because now you can buy me a drink to make up for being a jerk."

"Well, Mrs. Dominque, I don't think that will be a good idea-"

"It's Michelle, Matthew. You don't have to be so proper with me."

"Like I was saying, Michelle, I will have to decline your offer."

"*irritated tone* and why is that? Don't tell me your meeting up with some poor, unsuspecting girl again. I hope she knows you're a hit it and quit it type of guy"

"*dryly* first of all, for you to imply a statement like that would mean I actually had sex with you, which we both know, isn't the case and secondly, to answer your question, no, I just don't want to spend my time in the presence of someone like you."

"*gasp* you smug bastard! If you weren't so damn handsome, I would slap the hell out of you for talking to me like that!"

"That doesn't even make any sense"

"Screw you!"

This is why I never wanted to see this damn woman again; she is just as obnoxious as the first time I met her. My mother sure knew how to pick them…we reached the bottom floor and I allowed her to get off before me; regardless of her behavior, I still couldn't stop being a gentleman, even when dealing with people like her. She turned to look at me, as I went the opposite direction of where she was going…

"I really liked you, you know that!"

"Take care Michelle"

"Fine then, I hope nothing but misfortune in your impending future!"

I continued walking further and further away from her until her screeching voice was drowned out by the sound of countless people speaking and hurrying along in the front lobby.

"Now I need that drink more than ever."

I exited out of the building and headed towards the local bar across the street…

/feet shuffling/

"*whispering* "shhhhh, I don't want to wake him"

"*whispering* ok, ma'am"

/feet shuffling/

/ glass hitting the floor/

"*whispering* milly, damn it! You just cracked the hotels cup!"

"*whispering* I'm sorry Meryl, I didn't-"

"*grumbling* unnnnnn"

"*whispering* I think he is waking up"

"*whispering* shhhhh!"

I rolled over and groggily began to open my eyes...two figures we're standing near the dresser as my eyes started to refocus from them being closed…

"*grumbling* babe…"

"Matt, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you"

"It's *pause* it's alright. How are you doing milly?"

"Hi Matthew! I am doing good, thank you for asking!"

She smiled at me and I could see Meryl shake her head at the large woman.

"You don't have to yell milly, he is only a few feet away from us"

"Oh, yeah"

"It's ok"

I sat up and a sudden, sharp pain hit me and sent me back down…how did I make it back to the room, with my head pounding like this? I feel terrible…

"Are you ok, babe?"

"I think I have a slight hangover"

"I have aspirin if you need it."

"Thank you milly, but I think I'll be ok"

"Do you need us to leave? I can go back over to Milly's room while you rest"

"No…no, I would like for you to stay"

"Ok, then I'll get going. I hope you feel better matt."

"Thank you milly"

"Goodnight Meryl."

"Night, milly"

Milly proceeded to the door, opened it, and then left. Meryl began taking off her coat as I started speaking again…

"How long have you been back?"

"About four hours"

"Four hours…I was asleep that long? How did I get back to the room?"

"When milly and I arrived back to the room we noticed your phone still here. We then went downstairs to see if the front desk clerks had seen you and they mentioned seeing you enter the bar across the street. When we got over there you were half-conscious, leaning on the bar wall; Milly helped me get you upstairs and then we went across the way and hung out in her room while you slept."

"I must have been in the bar longer than I expected…."

"Do you need me to get you anything? Food, water?"

"No, I just need you."

She walked over to the bed and sat down next to me. I reached up and wrapped my arm around her waist; pulling her into my chest so I could hold her…

"I love you"

"Matt…"

"I was worried when you stayed gone for so long. I think that, mixed with the stress of everything going on, made me drink myself to a stupor. I am sorry you two had to bring me back up here like that"

"It's fine babe."

I hugged her closer and could feel myself becoming nauseous as the lack of food mixed with alcohol began creeping up on me…

"Sweetheart, do you-do you think you can help me to the bathroom?"

"Of course, here"

She grabbed me and helped lift me up. We ran over to the bathroom and I collapsed on the tile flooring in front of the toilet; the remnants of this morning's breakfast mixed with liquid began flowing out my mouth as I heaved everything out of me. She stood behind me with her hand rubbing my back as I continued unloading the contents of my stomach.

"Once you're done, I'll go get you some water and bread."

I kept at it for another 10 seconds and then I felt the nausea subside…I lifted my head up to look at her and she smiled tenderly at me.

"Better?"

"Yes…"

She left to go get the items she indicated she would, then came back and knelt next to me. I was leaning against the sink when she handed me the cup of water and saltine cracker. I took a sip from the glass and bit a small piece of the cracker; allowing them both to settle before I continued drinking or eating…

"Thank you Meryl"

"You're welcome, matt. Do you think you can stand up?"

"….Yeah…"

She grabbed a hold of my arm as we hoisted me up. We managed to get me to the bed before my legs buckled and I fell face first into the soft mattress; I was thankful it wasn't the floor.

"*muffled* unnnnnn…..remind me never to drink again"

"*soft chuckle* ok"

I titled my head to the side to see her lying next to me; her face still had traces of light blush and her lips some colored lip balm, as she stared at me with sleepy eyes…

"I hope you don't throw up in bed"  
"*smile* I'll try not to."

"*smile* ok. We should get some sleep. I have to take milly to go get fitted for her dress in the morning."

"*sleepily* Thank you again for being here for me"

"That's what I am here for. Now, get some rest."

I gave her a slight grin as I felt the heaviness of sleep sweep over me and my eyes began closing...I am happy…she is mine…..

"So you're telling me he is the 'M' in D.M Matherson Incorporated?"

"Yes"

"That means…"

"Yes, he is the founder of the town we reside in, the co-owner of much of the land here in December and pretty much everything else on this planet."

"WOW! Matt is all of that?!"

"Yes, milly. I was shocked too when he finally told me."

"I wonder how he was able to hide it from us for so long."

"I guess we just didn't take the time to put the pieces together."

"I suppose so."

"Hold *pause* still young lady. I need to get this exactly right or you will have to stand here for another ten minutes."

"Yes ma'am"

I sighed as milly continued to get her dress altered. Since she was so tall, the dress maker needed her to come down solely so she could get her proportions just right or she feared her gown would be too short or small.

"How does that feel, hunny? Is it too tight or ok?"

"I feel fine, so I will go with ok"

"Good, let me just put this last needle in here *pause* there, alright. You can step down now"

"*smile* ok"

She made her way off the elevated platform and the seamstress began to jot down where she needed to cut, tuck and sew. Knives will be pleased at how nice this dress is going to look on her…

"Do you like it, milly?"

"Yes, I think the color is really pretty"

"*smile* I'm glad. I hope the other girls in the wedding will like their dresses also."

"Oh, did you invite Stephanie and Carol to be bridesmaids yet?"

"Yea, but Carol won't be able to since it is such short notice and her job is sending her out of town that week."

"Oh no. Do you have anyone else to replace her with?"

"My cousin Nora, but I don't really like her."

"That's not very nice, Meryl"

"Well I don't. She is whiny and overbearing. I can't help it that we don't get along."

"So what are you going to do instead?"

"I just told matt to ask another one of his female relatives to be a bridesmaid."

"You're ok with that Meryl?"

"It's fine. As long as I have you and Stephanie, I could care less."

"Ok…"

The seamstress finished writing down her notes and then began taking out the needles from Milly's dress…

"Now Meryl, is there anything else in particular you want done or put onto the dress?"

"No, everything is fine the way it is."

"Alright, well milly, you can get undressed now. I should have it ready by this time next week, along with the bridesmaid's dresses."

"Will my gown be ready by then as well?"

"No, your gown and veil will be done by the week of the wedding"

"Ok"

She left the room to allow me to help milly get undressed. I walked over and untied the lace strings in the back and then told her to finish the rest while I waited on the couch…

"Are you excited Meryl?"

"Yeah *half smile*"

"You don't seem excited."

"Why do you say that milly?"

"Because how your speaking and holding yourself. You seem like you're just going through the motions without caring much about it."

I tell you, she can read every damn thing even when I don't want her too…or maybe I was just being painfully obvious.

"No milly, I'm just tired. All this running around is getting to me. "

"Really? It seems like something else is wearing on your mind. Or you're just lying to me."

"*irritated tone* I'm not lying milly, I really am excited to be getting married. This is the happiest I have ever been!"

"I think you're lying."

"Whatever, don't believe me"

"Is it Vash?"

"No! I am in no way thinking about him!"

"You can tell me Meryl. I've known you long enough to know when you're ok and when you are not."

"*angry snap* I'm telling you, I'm fine! Can we please just drop it?"

"*taken aback*….alright"

She zipped up her jeans and then began to put on her boots. I didn't mean to sound so upset but I don't need her badgering me about this right now. Can't she see I am trying everything in my power to forget about him and move on with my life? He wants me to be happy! And since he thinks my happiness lies here then this is where I am going to stay...besides….even if I wanted him to be around, he is gone now and I don't know if I will ever see him again.

"*smile* Are you hungry ma'am? I think I seen this nice looking café a couple of blocks away"

"Yeah. That sounds good."

"OK! Let's go then!"

She grabbed her coat and waved for me to follow her. She had a special gift to turn off her sadness and go about being happy. I wish I could do that…I stood up and lifted my jacket from the arm rest; following behind her as we walked to the front entrance.

"Hey, I am sorry I snapped at you milly. You were just trying to be a good friend."

"*smile* no worries Meryl. You will talk to me when you are ready"

"You two ladies have a nice rest of your day."

"Thank you ma'am!"

"See you next week Susan, take care"

She went back to talking with another client and we exited the shop. The air was crisp and cool as the rain clouds formed over the busy city. I didn't know if our arid weather would ever return with the way things were going. We walked down the street and turned the corner; looking over head and all around at the new and interesting improvements December had underwent.

"And to think we used to work here! It's amazing what eight years can do to a place!"

"I know. Even the old Bernardelli building looks different."

"Really! You've gone over there to see it? Did you get to say hello to anyone?"

"Yeah, but most of the old crew left right after we put in our resignation. Mr. Bernardelli wasn't in the day I went either but I did get to meet the new office head."

"Really, was he or she nice?"

"It was my ex-boyfriend Joseph"

"WHAT! Are you serious Meryl?!"

"Yes, it was awkward, but everything went smoothly. He met matt and wished us well in our endeavors, then went back to work."

"Did he still look the same?"

"No, he's gotten chubby and has a receding hairline"

"Oh my…"

"*laugh* I think he would be hurt right now if he could see your expression milly."

"Is it that bad?"

"*smile* yes"

"Oh…I guess I am just shocked a guy who was so into himself back when we were in college would let himself go like that."

"You and me both; hey is that the café you were talking about up there?"  
"Yeah! Let hurry before the rain starts!"

She began dashing ahead of me and I hurried to catch up; we made it in the nick of time, as the clouds started to become dark and the light tapping of rain began falling on the pavement.

"I better call matt to pick us up after we are finished eating."

"Ok, well I'm going to go order now. Do you want to find us a table, Meryl?"

"Sure"

She headed towards the front counter as I went over to a table closest to the side windows and sat down. The rain was falling steadily now and I became lost in the subtle beating of it…as I peered out the large, slightly yellowed window, I could see random couples walking with their umbrellas; talking and laughing about whatever it was they were talking about. I continued looking around at the scenery until I saw a tall man with blonde hair, wearing a black jacket. I was about to stand up in my seat, when he turned to a better angle and seen it was an older gentleman with a beard. I let out a soft sigh and continued gazing out at the city around me. I wanted to be happy…. Matt was perfect. Charming, smart, handsome, established, caring, every damn thing a woman would want in a man, matt was it. I should be flattered a man of his status would even glance at me let alone want to be my husband…but that damn Vash…that simple minded, good natured blonde with eyes that set me ablaze each time he looked at me, was all my crazy ass could think about. Is it healthy for someone to be this infatuated? I mean, I wanted him to stop me from marrying the man I've been dating for half a year now just because I still had a stupid crush on him…a one sided fixation that wasn't leading nowhere but me crying and drinking almost every other night. Matt saved me from that. He has given me stability and a future…something I could never expect from Vash. I shook my head and let out another soft sigh… I was out of my mind…that was all there was to it…

"I got you a turkey sandwich, Meryl!"

"Oh-thank you, milly"

"You're welcome *smile*"

She sat both her plate and mine down on the table and began placing her napkin on her lap. I looked down at the half sandwich, half salad, meal and proceeded to place my napkin on my lap as well.

"*smile* thank the good lord for this food, amen!"

"Amen"

She began eating and I followed suit…I hope, where ever that silly man was…he would find the happiness he rightfully deserved from the person he always wanted. That way my crazy self could finally let go…and enjoy this new life with my future husband….

_/two weeks later/_

"Damn it's cold in here. Doesn't that brother of mine ever turn on the heater?"

I placed my wet jacket on the hanging rack and pulled off my shoes. It was nice to see he hadn't changed the locks since I've been gone. He probably didn't think I was going to come back, so he found no point in doing so. I stepped further into the apartment and could hear the shower running from his room.

"Good, he is home."

I walked over to my room and opened the door; smiling at the made bed and various items I had left on the table still being there. Maybe he did think I was going to come back…or he was just too lazy to clear out my room. I proceeded to my dresser to get a fresh pair of sleeping pants and long sleeve shirt so I could go shower. It would be nice to sleep in my comfortable bed and shower in my individual shower. That hotel in Badlands sucked so hard; all those gross old geezers walking around with no towels on after they used the shared shower and that cramp inducing piece of crap they called a bed was even worse. The memory made me cringe. Well, I should be grateful they let me stay as long as I did though. I only had hundred double dollars on me when I left and fifty went to the bus fare alone so if I think of it like that, it wasn't so bad. I took out the two items and closed the drawer; I was headed to the linen closet when I heard knives shower stop running and a slight humming come from behind his door.

"Humming, when the hell did he start humming?"

I shrugged my shoulders and opened the closet door, pulling out a clean towel and then closing it back. I continued to the bathroom as I heard his door open and turned to see a half-naked knives step out into the hallway…

"Hey knives!"

"What the hell *stumbling backwards* Vash! When the hell did you get back?!"

"*smile* nice to see you too!"

"Don't you know how to call before you just show up out of nowhere!?"

"*nervous laugh* I didn't think I needed too."

"*grumbling* idiot"

He looked at me coldly and I couldn't help but laugh. I scared him. I thought he would use his telepathy to sense I was coming but it seemed he wasn't really doing that now a days. I turned back around and walked into the cool bathroom, flicking on the light and then placing my things on the stand next to the sink.

"You're ass better not have touched my dinner!"

"It's still there! Promise!"

I then closed the door, walked over to the shower and turned it on.

"Hey, can I get some of this lasagna?"

"Didn't you eat before you got here?"

"Yeah, but that was almost five hours ago."

"*heavy exhale* fine, just don't eat it all."

"THANKS!"

I pulled the plastic container out of the fridge and placed it on the countertop. Grabbing a plate, I opened the lid and began scooping out a large helping of the pasta dish. This didn't look like knives cooking…I bet he got this from milly. I walked over to the microwave and placed it inside.

"So are you planning on going to that job of yours now that you are back? "

"Yeah, that is, if they haven't fired me by now"

"You better pray they haven't"

"*disbelief tone* are you still going to throw me out if I don't have a job knives?"

"What do you think?"

"I'm your brother!"

"My lazy, irresponsible brother who is leeching off of my money which keeps a roof over his head!"

"I'm not either of those things, knives, and you know it!"

"You sure act like it when you just up and leave town without thinking about the obligations you have here! If I can stay here and deal with these damn parasites you love so much, then I expect you to do the same!"

"*mumbling* I didn't leave town because I was trying to be irresponsible knives…"

"No, you left town because that damn woman of yours is getting married to someone else."

"I-"

"Don't act like I don't know, you idiot."

"….she told you then"

"No, milly told me."

"…she isn't even my woman…."  
"Obviously. If she was then she wouldn't be marrying that human, now would she"

I shot him a dirty look and snatched my hot plate from the microwave.

"Do you always have to be an asshole, knives?"

"Did I hit a nerve?"

It took everything in me not to throw my food at him. He was mocking me! Got damn bastard….I pulled out the kitchen table chair and sat down with my back towards him. I then began eating my food when he opened his mouth and started speaking again…

"She is back in town this week for her bachelorette party"

I placed my fork down on the plate and turned to look at him…

"Why are you telling me this?"  
"What was the reason for you coming back?"

"*irritated tone*don't play with me knives, just answer the question"

"*dryly* I'm telling you this, my dimwitted brother, because this may be your last chance to talk her out of marrying that insect of hers."

"…"

"Look, you do what you want. I was just assuming that was the reason you came back here."

"I *long pause* I don't know how to go about saying it."

"Like you didn't know how to say sorry almost five months ago."  
"*angry tone* and look how that turned out. It isn't that simple when…when you don't know if someone will accept you, like you would want them too."

"Are you that naive Vash?"

"*irritated twitch* damn it knives! I am so tired of you calling me names and mocking me like I'm some damn pincushion you can just kick and jab whenever the hell you feel like it! Have you tired telling milly how you feel lately? Or are you just good at making someone else feel like an idiot all time?!"

"This conversation isn't about me."

"Why are you avoiding the question knives? Are you afraid someone might have noticed that you are in love with a damn human?!"

"*angry tone* How dare you even insinuated that I could ever love that empty headed female! This damn conversation is about the woman you are in love with! Don't try to throw around assumptions just because you don't know what to do about your feelings!"

"See! Right there! You can't even admit to yourself you're in love with her! At least I can do that much finally!"

"Why do I even waste my time with you?! If she marries that damn boyfriend of hers come the end of this week, then I will understand why!"

"Wait-what!?"

"*dryly* of course. You probably don't even know what a bachelorette party is, do you"

"Of course I do asshole! Just because she is having her bachelorette party this week didn't automatically mean she was getting married this week as well! I'm just surprised she is actually getting married THIS soon!"

"You thought you had more time, didn't you. So you could procrastinate until the moment passed and you wouldn't have to deal with it. Well, sorry to burst your bubble but matters like this normally don't work that way."

"*bewildered expression* what am I gonna do…"

"*annoyed tone* stop whining damn it and just go tell the stupid girl you love her!"

"You have no sympathy do you knives…"

"I killed countless people without the slightest sense of guilt behind it. You do the math and tell me what you find out"

"Evil…just pure evil"

He smiled and continued to watch his damn program on the television….as much as I hated to admit when my asshole of a brother was right, he was…I did think I had more time to sort out how I was going to go about approaching her. I knew everything I was going to say and how I was going to say it but I just didn't know when I was going to say it. In a month or two maybe, but in a week? I could feel all the nerve I built up for the past couple of weeks disappearing as I sat there contemplating my next move. Should I go there now? No…maybe tomorrow. Or possibly Friday? Oh damn it all to hell, I need to stop! Stop and be a man Vash! In times like this, I wish I had rem to help me but I knew the help I needed she could never give. When it came down to matters of the heart, I was on my own…to bad I wasn't like knives… evil, no feeling, ok with being single….no, I take that back. I would probably kill myself if I was like him. I looked over to see him shoot me a quick snarl and I knew he was listening to me telepathically. Serves the bastard right. I stood up and walked over to the kitchen sink; turning on the water, washing the plate and then placing it into the dish rack, I thought over what knives had said about Meryl's bachelorette party. It was the best opportunity I had to speak with her alone and it was the perfect excuse to be over at her house. My brother does have my best interests at heart...

"The hell I do, I just grow tired of hearing the same droning bull crap playing over and over again in my head. I would rather you deal with it than have to listen to another agonizing minute of your pathetic sniveling."

"*slitted eyes* I wish you would just get laid so you would stop being so damn evil"

"Who says I haven't…"

"*surprised expression* are trying to tell me something knives? Did you get some action since I've been gone?"

"*dryly* Like I would tell you."

"Oh come on! At least be nice and tell me since you made the implication like you did"

"My, isn't that word too big for you to be using?"

"*dryly* almost as big as your head"

"*laugh* idiot"

He flipped the channel to the news and I walked over to sit down next to him…

"Was it a random coworker of yours? Or some hottie you picked up at a bar?"

"I am not getting into this with you Vash, go away"

"…..was it milly?"

"I said get lost Vash!"

"NO way! You did, didn't you! You slept with milly!"

"*annoyed tone* No damn it, stop trying to pry into what doesn't concern you!"

"Wow….was it worth the wait? *wide grin*"

"I swear if you don't get away from me…"

"I'll find out sooner or later you know. I do live here and she does come by often enough for something to slip out one of these days, so why not just tell me."

"*long pause* I want to make this perfectly clear. If you utter this to even a random man at a bar, I will find you, skin you, and then place your remains in the freezer."

"*sweat drop* I won't mention it."

I knew my crazy ass brother wasn't kidding either; why does he have to be so scary….

"Yes, it was milly"

"*eyes beaming* I knew it! I knew you too would finally get it over with and sleep together! I bet it was the best thing to ever happen to you"

"...no comment"

"Stop being so uptight knives and tell me"

"*grumbling* It was…different. I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I did"

"*smiling* she was your first, wasn't she"

"*slight irritated blush* what does that have to do with anything!"

"If she wasn't, then you would have known how enjoyable it was before hand"

"I never had any interest in finding out before her!"

"Yeah, I know, but tell me, how was it?"

"All you need to know is I have no complaints."

"*devious smile*did she do anything to you that would make her blush if I was to mention it to her?"

"Why are you so damn interested in what happened?! You trying to go beat off or something?"

"No, you nasty jerk! I was just curious how you would describe it being!"

"Well stop being curious and go get some from that small woman of yours, instead."

He looked at me and I could feel my face grow hot. Damn, he just had to mention me being intimate with Meryl didn't he?

"Fine, I'll drop it"

"Thought so."

"You would probably make it all twisted and scientifically correct anyway."

"*snarl*"

"I'm going to bed, night tight ass"

"*dryly* night moron"

I stood up and stretched. As I walked away, I still couldn't help but feel happy for him and milly….at least if I ever left this place now, I could leave and feel like he would be taken care of by someone who truly cared about him. All I ever wanted for him was to find peace and happiness in this cruel world we lived in. I rubbed my eyes as I entered my room and closed the door. But, putting everything else aside, I really needed to get some sleep so I could find out when Meryl was having her party and go from there…

"The end of this week…."

This was it. the last chance I would ever have to tell her my true feelings…and if I am rejected and she still chose to be with him…then at least I could walk away knowing I told her and could let her go. I laid down on the bed and rolled over to the position I liked the most to sleep in…closing my eyes and picturing her face smiling gently at mine…

_/Wednesday/_

"Milly, why did you do this? I didn't want a party."

"*smile* every girl needs to celebrate the last days of her being single! Matt is having a party at his house as well right?"

"Yes, his best friend came down from Little Arcadia to throw it for him."

"See, so it is only fair you have one too!"

"Sigh* I guess so."

She continued smiling at me as she placed the dishes she made for the night in the fridge.

"How many people are expected to show up?"

"Hmmmm...I think including you and me, there will be about seven in attendance."

"Well that's good. At least it isn't going to be a large party"

"Yeah, I thought with the two strippers coming, too many people would be too much for them"

"TWO WHAT!?"

"*laughing* just kidding ma'am!"

"*dryly* Ha ha, very funny"

"*smile* I only got one"

"*eyes wide* Stop it milly! You can't be serious!"

"*smile*"

"No! You really got a stripper!"

"It wouldn't be a bachelorette party without one!"

"Oh gosh no!"

"It will be alright Meryl, just have fun tonight and remember, you deserve it *wink*"

"Why….*crying* why would you do this to meee…."

"*smile* would me getting two make it easier for you?"

"You are just being so funny today, ha ha ha! No milly, it would not!"

"*smile* then I'll just stick with the one. That reminds me, I have to go the bank and get some money"

"*twitching* why would you need money, milly?"

"To tip the man of course!"

"I can't, I can't do this…she really got a stripper…can I just stay in my room tonight?"

"Nope!"

I hope this night goes by as quickly as possible….please, let this night go by as quickly as possible! She walked over to the telephone and began dialing a number from a piece of paper. Thoughts of shiny underwear and oiled plexus made me blush uncontrollably and I stood up and walked over to the sink to get a glass of water…

"*on the telephone* yes, I will be by to pick it up later on this afternoon"

/person on phone/

"Ok, and make sure you have the champagne bottles I asked for as well. Thank you sir!"

/person on phone/

"You too, bye!"

She hung up the receiver and walked out of the kitchen towards the living room. I set my cup down and hurried behind her, hoping she wasn't going to go get anything else outrageous without me.

"Are you leaving? If you are, I am coming with you"

"Well, I was first going to get dressed after I got this notepad off the bookstand, but you are welcome to come with me afterwards *smile*"

"Oh…yeah"

I forgot it was 8:30 in the morning and we were still in our pj's. The fear of her leaving to go get a make shift stripper pole or some other oddity, made me forget. I waved for her to continue on and walked back into the kitchen…coffee sounds great right now.

"Are you the lucky lady that is getting married this weekend?"

He was looking at me with the creepiest expression I ever seen and I responded with a broken chuckle…milly always goes to the nut jobs for events doesn't she…

"*excited tone* Yes she is! We are here to pick up the order I placed for her bachelorette party tonight!"

"Ahh! Strange you would be throwing a party in the middle of the week-"

"She is getting married in December, so we will be leaving tomorrow to get there by Saturday evening!"

"*nervous whisper* he doesn't need to know that milly!"

"OH! Well then, I understand now! Let me just go to the back and get you two young ladies your order *creepy smile*"  
"*nervous smile* yeah...ok"

"Kay!"

He left us at the counter and I looked over to milly who was gazing at some pastries in the display case…

"*mumbling* maybe I should get one for lunch…"

"*whispering* Milly!"

"Huh, yes Meryl?"

"*whispering* where did you find this place?! This guy is creepy as hell!"

"*smile* one of my coworkers recommended this bakery to me. He said he may look like a whack job, but his pastries and homemade champagne are the best in town!"

"*whispering* don't say that so loud! He may hear us and spike our order!"

"You're being paranoid, ma'am! He's a nice guy"

"*whispering* I'm not being paranoid, I-"

I quickly changed my tune as he walked back out from behind the plastic overhanging blinds and placed a large case of bottles and an elongated, white box on the glass countertop.

"Here you two are! So the bill today will be 87 double dollars and 50 cents."

"*smile* here you go, sir! Can I also get one of your strawberry shortcake pastries with the pudding filling?"

"Sure!"

He walked over and pulled out the tray with the fattening cake on it, placed it in a small pink box, and then walked back to the cash register.

"That will be an additional three double dollars *smile*"

"Here you are, thank you again sir! Have a wonderful rest of your week!"

"Yes, thank you."

"You two pretty ladies come back and visit me sometime!" he then looked over to me and whispered, "If that future husband of yours doesn't work out, I always have a warm place in my bed for you to sleep… *creepy smile and wink*"

"*sweat drops* *nervous laugh* Okay! Well it was wonderful meeting you!"

I nudged milly and mumbled for her to grab the rest of the items and come on. I made a quick dash for the door, milly still waving goodbye as I hurried down the street from the cross eyed man with two missing front teeth. I might have to shower again once I get home…

"Meryl! Meryl! Please slow down!"

She was trying to fast walk with the heavy case of champagne bottles as I turned to look at her. I slowed my pace and allowed her to catch up before walking again…

"*smile* he seemed *catching breath* to really like you ma'am!"

"*blood draining from face* please, don't even utter something like that out loud! He made every inch of my skin crawl!"

"*laugh* if he didn't have missing teeth and that strange limp eye thing going on, he might be somewhat attractive *smile*"

"*shivering* I don't want to think about it"

We continued walking in the direction of the bank, when a familiar blonde haired man in a gray jeep truck came driving down the road. He pulled up and parked on the opposite side of the street and hopped out.

"Mr. Knives! Hi"

"*mumbling* not him…"

He proceeded to run across the street and then stop to help us.

"You were supposed to wait for me"

"Oh well, Meryl left before I could stop her. The owner seemed to show an interest in her *smile*"

"*wicked smile* really…"

"Stop it you two! I don't need you teasing me about that man back there!"

"*smile* ma'am is a little sensitive about it"

"Be quiet milly!"

"Maybe it was the limp eye that made her heart skip a beat"

"*laugh* Mr. Knives that isn't nice"

"ARGGH! Forget you both!"

I stormed off down the street, forcing milly to run after me. After she convinced me they were sorry for teasing, I reluctantly went back with her to knives car. He was sitting there with his sunglasses and coat on, looking at me with that damn blank expression he always had slapped on his face. It would give me great joy if the rain clouds would appear in the sky and soak him and his opened top jeep; messing up his interior and wiping that damn smug expression off his face. I hopped in the back and didn't say anything as milly placed the elongated box in the trunk with the champagne bottles and then went to sit up front.

"Where to?"

"We were heading to the bank *smile*"

"Alright"

He started the engine and began to merge back into traffic. I looked at them both and couldn't help but notice a certain comfortable demeanor radiating between the two that wasn't there before. I mean, for milly it was normal but knives…he didn't seem so at edge. I wonder…

"Hey Meryl, is there anything else you might want to get for yourself before tonight?"

"No, I think you have everything covered milly."

"Ok *smile*"

She turned her head back around and went on skimming the radio for some music. He wasn't even trying to stop her like he normal would…yes, I defiantly think something transpired between those two that she isn't telling me. I watched silently as we continued down the road; when we pulled into the lot for the bank, milly motioned for him to go with her.

"We will be right back Meryl"

"Take your time"

He got out and walked over to open the door for her and then they both proceeded to walk together to the bank. I am so going to ask her what happened when we get home…

"Thank you again Mr. Knives"

"Yeah, I will see you tomorrow"

"*smile* remember, we have to be gone by nine in the morning to get there on time Saturday evening."

"I know that woman."

"*smile* ok, then I'll see you in the morning."

I leaned backwards in my seat out the side kitchen door to get a better look at them…he whispered something in her ear which garnered a slight push and bright smile. I know I shouldn't be nosy but I couldn't resist. He then stepped out the door and left; her closing the door gently behind him. I almost fell out my seat but caught myself and leaned the chair back into the kitchen as she turned to walk back…

"I can't believe you actually got him to agree to come to my wedding."

"*smile* it wasn't that hard to convince him"

"Hmmmm…so, milly. Is there something you would like to tell?"  
"About what ma'am?"  
"About you and 'Mr. Knives'"

"*pause*no"

"Are you sure?"

"*smile* positive!"

She had her back to me setting up dishes and putting aside activities she had planned for tonight. She is determined not to say anything…knives probably threatened her in some way or swore her to secrecy...regardless of which method he used, she was obviously standing by it. I may never find out…

"Ok, then I am going to go get ready. Let me know if you need help with anything"

"I'll be fine Meryl! Just go get dressed!"

"Ok"

I stood up and grabbed my cup of coffee. I looked over to her one last time to see if she was going to say anything but she just continued to hum and set up. I let out a sigh and walked out the kitchen towards my bedroom…

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me knives? I would feel better if you were there to distract them."

"*dryly* I have no interest in being around seven overly excited human females. This doesn't concern me anyway"

"*begging expression* please knives, I need some support right now"

"*annoyed tone* get the hell away from me! You know your begging disgusts me to no end!

"*teary eyes* that's so cold…."

He pushed past me and went to go get a drink from the fridge. I looked up at the wall clock and it read 8:45 and I could feel my palms become somewhat sweaty…sulking, I walked back to my room to finish getting myself ready. I buttoned up my aqua colored dress shirt, put my cologne on and sat down to finish spiking my hair. Looking over to a clock once again, I stood up and put my belt through the dark blue loops attached to my slightly loose fitting jeans and lastly looked myself over, making sure I didn't forget to do something, then reached for my blazer to put it on.

"*yelling* by the time you finish, they will be in bed sleep!"

"*yelling* I'm leaving damn it!"

I rolled my eyes and turned out the bright light. As I was heading for the door, I stopped and turned in the direction he was standing and asked if I could borrow his jeep.

"We don't live far enough away for you to be driving."

"Look, I won't crash your car. I would just feel better if I got there in a vehicle and not by foot"

"*long pause* the keys are on the counter."

"Thank you"

I hurried over to the kitchen counter, grabbed the set of keys and pulled my dress loafers off the shoe rack…

"I want my truck back"

"I know, I'll see you later"

"*hmph*"

I opened the door to the hallway and then closed it; I made my way down the stairs to the back parking lot and then began searching for knives car. Once I found it, I unlocked the door, turned the key and then drove out the lot towards Meryl's and Milly's house.

I pulled up a couple of houses down, as to not give away knives truck. I stepped out into the crisp night air and closed the door, locking it as I looked all around to see if anyone I knew was standing outside. After I assured myself I was the only one on the street, I stepped onto the curb and began walking extremely slow...pacing myself as I ran the exact words I was going to say to her over and over again in my head.

"You can do this Vash. You have nothing to lose."

I stopped at the foot of the house and looked up the three steps leading to the front door. I could hear the faint sound of music playing from behind the entrance and I knew I didn't want to enter the house through there.

"The back door will be the best bet. Or if one of the side windows are opened, I could get inside that way as well."

I was hoping the key I had to the house still worked so I could just enter through the back. The image of Meryl or Milly shooting me as I climbed through the window, made that idea seem not as good as the other. I carefully made my way around the house, ducking down as to not be spotted from the kitchen window, and then reached for the back door knob.

"Like I figured. It's locked"

I stood up and tried to be as quite as possible while slipping the small key into the keyhole.

"*whispering* please unlock, please, please, please"

I closed one eye as I turned the key and the rewarding sound of a click was given to me. I let out a long exhale and then turned the now opened door; creaking it open softly and then stepping into the warm, and very loud house. I closed the door gently and listened as the sounds of screaming and laughing could be heard from the living room…

"*Meg speaking* WOOOO, hell yea! Shake it for me, baby!"

"*Milly speaking* Wow, you're quite flexible Mr. James!"

"*unfamiliar voice* I got twenty! WOOO!"

"*unfamiliar voice* GO MEG, GO!"

"*Meryl speaking* this is wrong on so many levels"

"*unfamiliar voice* Meryl, have some fun! This is for you, so enjoy it. Here, come over and place this in his strap!"

"*Meryl speaking* no, no, I'm ok!"

"*Milly speaking* Come on ma'am! He is waiting for you!"

What the hell…did I come at the wrong time? I crept slowly into the dark hallway and then stopped as I heard the sound of water running coming from Milly's bedroom. I looked over to see her bathroom door opening and a small woman wiping her hands on a towel, step out. I back tracked and pressed myself against the wall, trying to hide in the shadows, as she exited Milly's room and made her way back into the festive, living room.

"*whispering* that was close"

I can't get upstairs to her room without being spotted, so I might need to figure out another plan of action. Think Vash, where else would she go besides her room for a breather? The kitchen was too open and Milly's room was a definite no since it seemed the guests were using it for the restroom, so the only other place she could possibly go was my old bedroom…but would she even go in there? I wonder if there is still anything inside...it was worth a try and if an hour went by and she didn't show up, then I will just think of something else. I crept down the hallway until I reached my old bedroom and discreetly turned the knob to the closed door. I walked into the room and closed the door back without making a sound. I looked around the room and was amazed that nothing was different about it. My old bed was still in the same position with the exception of fresh sheets and a thicker cover, the chair, my clock and even a pair of jeans I left folded on one of the end tables was still there. I walked over to the well-made bed and sat down; reminiscing about the last time I sat there speaking with her….how she was distant and cold. Even though she accepted my apology, she didn't accept how I treated her. Thinking back on it made me sigh deeply. I hope this time we end on a better note than before. I laughed to myself as another loud 'woo' echoed throughout the house.

"*smile* those insurance girls…"

"Ok, you three drive safely! See you on Sunday!"

"*pause* yeah grillll! You sleep well too!"

"Meg, your drunk! You just called her 'grill' and she didn't even say anything about bed!"

"Shhhhhh, you talk too much *pause* beettty! *laugh*

"We need to get her home quick! Night Meryl! Thanks for the great time!"

"See you Sunday!"

"Bye!"

"Tell that stippper to CALLL me!"

"Stripper, Meg. Just get in the car and be quiet"

I watched Betty put Meg in the back seat and then get in after her, as Maggie started the car. They rolled down the windows and waved goodbye as they drove down the dimly lit road. Stephanie had left forty-five minutes earlier along with Milly's coworker friend, Holly, after the stripper. I entered back into the house and closed the door. I looked around the partially destroyed living room and groaned; I'm glad we ended the party early. I looked up at the clock and it read 10:50 and began picking up wine glasses and paper plates. Milly was passed out on her bed from all the champagne she drank and so here I am stuck with clean up duty. I walked into the kitchen and unloaded the first batch of glasses into the sink and the paper plates into the trash. I left again to pick up the remainder of the glasses when I heard a strange thud reverberate through the walls.

"Was that milly?"

I stopped what I was doing and listened to see if milly had woken up. She didn't come out her room so I assumed she wasn't the one who made the noise. I walked quietly into the hallway; listening closely to see if the noise would repeat itself. A sudden faint whispering penetrated my ears and I froze next to the door it was coming from. Oh gosh…someone was in Vash's old room! I reached over and picked up the broom I had laying against the wall and crept over to the door; slowly reaching down to grasp the golden knob…

"*sweat drop* *whispering* all right whoever you are, you're about to get the ass kicking of the century…."

I took a deep breath and turned the knob quickly; flinging open the door with my broom held up high…

"Alright asshole! Where….."

There he was. Lying on the floor rubbing his head…nervously looking at me with those aquamarine eyes I never grew tired of seeing…I dropped the broom and stared down at him…

"Vash…"

This was not the way I expected her to find me. I hadn't realized how tired I was until I dozed off thirty minutes into waiting for her. Too bad I got overly comfortable and fell the hell off the bed. I looked up at her and nervously smiled. She didn't move or say anything else as I slowly lifted myself up off the floor…

"Hi Meryl…"

"What…when did you…"

"I came in the back door around 9. I was waiting for you in here but feel asleep."

"You were waiting for me…."

"Yeah"

She was still standing there in shock as I stood there just looking at her. I knew she wasn't trying to, but she looked really good with her red tank top and black, loose fitting cotton pants. The slight flush to her skin was giving her a fresh out the shower look and for a moment my mind began to swim in thoughts of her in my arms. I shook the notion away quickly, as I reminded myself what I was here for.

"Meryl, I…I came here to talk to you"

"…..why?"

Before I answered the question, I made my way behind her and shut the door. I didn't want milly disturbing us while I was trying to do this. I then walked back to face her and she looked at me with a confused expression; eyes searching my face as I built up my courage and began to speak…

"I came to ask you something about that night…"

"Vash-"

"Please, just let me do this before I lose my nerve."

She then stood there silently, arms to her side, waiting patiently for me to continue…

"I know I shouldn't be here and this question may have no merit at all but….but I wanted to know why…why you were so sad that night"

She bit her lip and put her head down…without really thinking about it, I reached out and pulled her chin up gently so I could look her in the face…the touch seemed to make her body become more flushed as she looked up at me…that expression…the same one I seen on New Year's….it was like her eyes were yearning for me to see something. Something she didn't know how to say, or was afraid to…

"Do you love him meryl?"

"…..why are you asking me this"

"Because, the way you are looking at me…the way you spoke with me that night. Everything about you says you don't. I didn't see it until I was gone. I was too angry to see what it really was you were trying to tell me. So tell me, do you love him?"

Tears began running down her face as she looked at me…I didn't want to hurt her. I hated to see her cry and it seemed like my question was eating her up inside but I just couldn't stand by and say nothing anymore. I didn't want her to leave here not knowing how I felt or that I would do anything for her if she just told me too.

"I didn't *pause* I didn't think I would ever see you again…all these years I've been hoping…wishing you would notice me. That you would take the time to see how much…how much I cared for you beyond what I should have. I knew I was foolish and that I could never expect for you to accept me in any other way but a friend. That night…when I told you I was getting married…every part of me wanted you to stop me. I just wanted for you to finally make my dream come true…but you smiled and wished me well. I don't know what I really want…I just know I need someone to be here for me and love me in a way I never had. Matt loves me and wants to marry me…so why does it matter if I love him or not…"

"It does matter! You shouldn't marry someone just because you feel it's only the right thing to do. You're supposed to marry someone because you love them. I was too busy focusing on everything else to notice how you felt about me all this time or maybe I felt you were too good for a guy like me to want to see it. Meryl….don't do this because you feel obligated to….you don't have to do this"

"Vash I…I can't just up and leave him now. You're not saying anything at all. I can't just stand by here and hope for something that isn't even a reality."

She pulled away from me and wiped her eyes. She looked at me with hurt and anger in her eyes and turned to leave…before she could open the door I reached out, spun her around and pulled her into me; her body became tense as I leaned down and stopped inches away from her face…

"*softly speaking* I am not the best at saying what is truly in my heart…maybe instead of saying it…I should just show you"

I then pulled her into me and kissed her…all the years of wondering how she would taste…how she would feel…no word in the world could describe it. She began to close her eyes as she allowed the kiss to continue…my heart was racing as I pushed her against the wall and began to kiss her more passionately…lifting her up to where her legs were straddling my torso...I broke the kiss to look at her completely flushed face and speak..

"I…l love you Meryl. I am sorry I didn't know how to tell you sooner"

Tears began rolling down her cheeks and I pressed my lips against hers once again. Everything in me wanted to make her see how much I needed her to be with me…I wanted her to be mines. I craved nothing more than to have her wrapped around me and be with me forever…I could feel my hand lifting up her shirt to feel her warm skin…moving my mouth down from her mouth onto her soft neck…her light moans made my body quiver as I pressed against her harder…I wanted her so badly…I yearned for this woman. I pulled her loose pants down slightly to run my fingertips up and down her outer thigh which made her body jerk and she grabbed ahold of my hair, squeezing me into her deeper…. The hand that was under her shirt grazed over the smooth surface of her bra and wrapped firmly around the supple mound; causing her head to roll sideways and curse softly as I caressed it and ran my tongue lightly over her collarbone. Each moan made me suck harder and longer as I worked my way lower. I stopped rubbing her thigh to explore other parts of her…from her soft back to her firm, rounded ass, I was touching it all and each gentle stroke was making her heart race faster and her breathing become more irregular. Yes Meryl…let me show you how much I have wanted you…to caress you and love you…to hear you call out for me baby...yes, let me give you everything you ever desired…

/telephone ringing/

The terrible sound made her eyes dart around suddenly as the constant ringing caused the moment to drift further and further away from us. I felt her pulling away from me and I allowed her to dismount from around my torso. She began fixing her clothes and hair as I stood there cursing whoever it was that messed up what was about to take place…

"Mer-"

"I think you should go"

"*confused expression* what?"

"I need you to leave Vash. I can't have you here"

"I *long pause* why Meryl?"

"Please, just leave!"

She was looking away from me and I could feel my heart writhing behind my chest. Why was she sending me away? I don't understand, I thought she wanted this from me. Didn't she want me to love her and tell her that I wanted her to be mine? I was at a lost…I didn't know whether to scream or cry…I bit back my angry tears and grabbed my coat; walking up beside her and pausing for a brief moment before turning the door knob, opening the door and leaving her in the darkened bedroom. Something inside my mind was snapping and I had to steady my steps….I proceeded to open the back door and step out into the cold night air; walking to knives car feeling empty and brokenhearted…what do I do now…what in the hell am I supposed to do…

"*sniff* damn key…just open the damn door!"

My focus was blurred due to my clouded vision; I was juggling through different keys to open a door I had opened over a hundred times. I was distraught and could feel my anger growing…thirty minutes ago I was sitting in knives car crying; trying to make the pain of her rejection less evident. Now my eyes were swollen and I couldn't even steady my hand long enough to make this front door open. Everything hurt. I should've just stayed away, anything would have been better than this. I thought I could cope but I couldn't. She was going to marry him…she was going to marry him and I was going to have to live my life without her. I could feel my tears resurfacing and I began banging on the door; I needed to get inside. I just wanted to get inside and rest….

"*banging* knives! Open the door! Kni-"

Before I finished the sentence, the door swung open and a half-sleep, half-irritated knives stood there glaring at me through slitted eyes…

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BANGING ON THE DAMN DOOR?!"

"Just let me in knives"

"*angry tone* why didn't you just use you key, genius"

"*angry tone* I am not in the mood for your smart ass mouth right now. Just let me in so I can go to bed."

His face became more creased as he stepped to the side; I stumbled past him, not realizing how weak my legs were from exerting so much energy crying and getting back up the stairs. I dragged along the wall and I felt his hand grip my arm. Instinct told me to pull away, but he held on tightly to the point I thought he was going to brake it.

"What the hell did she do to leave you in this incoherent state?"

"Nothing! Let go of my arm!"

"Tell me now"

He gripped my arm harder and I winched in pain. My anger was rising at an accelerated rate, and I tried to violently yank my arm out of his hand to get away from him. This caused him to squeeze harder and push me forcefully against the wall I was already leaning on…

"*angry yell* damn it knives! Let go of me! I have no desire to talk right now!"

"*angry snarl* look, I'm trying to help your ignorant ass so you don't go and do something irrational again. If she's done something that has hurt you, you need verbalize it and deal with it like an adult."

I looked at him with angry but pleading eyes. I don't feel like being mocked or ridiculed. I don't feel like him telling me this was what I get for waiting so long to tell her how I felt. I didn't want to hear any of that… I was tired, my mind and heart ached and I felt like my world was taken from me. Talking right now didn't seem like it would do anything for me…

"*drained voice" please…let me deal with this on my own…"

"So you're just going to give up and sulk in that damn room of yours like you always do!"

"*cracked voice* what the hell do you want me to do! She doesn't want me! There! Are you happy now!? She is going to marry him even after I told her I loved her! there is nothing left I can do *broken sob* I-I lost her…the person that meant the most to me is going to be in the arms of another man and I don't know how to cope with it any better! So let me go knives!"

I wasn't trying to have another break down in front of him…I was so angry…how could she turn me away knowing she doesn't love him…how could she want me to stop her and then when I try to, she stays anyway. Why, damn it, why does she have to want him over me!? Tears were falling from my already swollen eyes and I wanted to go and hide. To disappear from this day and this place…to figure out what I was going to do now that my efforts were shot down.

"*stern voice* if you love that damn human so much, don't just let her go without fighting for what is rightfully yours. I know that stupid female loves you, it was obvious the moment I met her. I can't make you do anything Vash but I won't let you continue to run away from everything that frightens you. If you found a way to help me, someone who took so much away from you and killed almost everyone you ever held dear, then find a way to make that woman see that she deserves you! Not that bastard she is about to marry. Do something Vash!"

He shook me as I stood there limp…I'm tired of fighting…all my life I have been fighting something…from knives to humans, not one day has passed without me having to fight to find some form of peace of mind. I didn't want to have to fight for this too. I knew I didn't deserve love because of all the pain I subjected so many people too during my life time. It was a fantasied notion that seemed wonderful at the time but It was just that…a fantasy…my reality was this…I wasn't supposed to get the girl…I wasn't supposed to live happily ever after. I was always meant to be on my own. I don't have the desire to fight anymore when it was so clear I was never supposed to win…

"*softly speaking* I'm done knives…I'm done"

He looked me over and then released his grip around my arm. I slid down the wall and sat there on the floor slouched over with my head hanging low…

"Fine. I'm going back to bed. I have to leave for her wedding in the morning"

He left me sitting there as he made his way to his room and slammed the door. It doesn't matter anymore…I closed my eyes and allowed my body to drift off to sleep…

"Did you have a good time last night?"

"I-I'm sorry, I was zoning out again. What did you say, matt?"

"I asked if you had a good time last night"

"Oh, yeah. It was great…"

"You don't sound very convincing *smile*"

"No really, it was fun *smile* milly did a wonderful job."

"That's good to hear"

It was 12 in the afternoon and we were making good timing considering I woke up later than I expected to…but considering what transpired last night, it was a blessing I even woke up at all. I looked out the passenger window; the passing desert scenery was littered with pools of water and debris from the ongoing storms that was still hitting us. Some places even had traces of grass or flowers, which now wasn't so unbelievable to see. He reached over and brushed some of my hair away from my face and smiled. I gave an empty smile back and he looked on to the road ahead…why was I still doing this? It didn't make any sense. Nothing ever made any sense. I looked back out the window as flashbacks of Vash's words and lips invaded my thoughts; threatening to unravel me as I sat there in anguish.

"I hope the guest will be ok with the snow that is still littering the streets of December."

"They should be, they will just need to wear coats"

"*smile* yeah"

"Are you alright babe? Since I picked you up this morning you have been distant"

"I'm just thinking about how everything is going to go. It seems like this week crept up on us before I was really ready."

"I did come fast but I am happy it did."

"Really?"  
"Yes. I have been waiting for the moment I can make you forever mine."

"*smile* another sappy comment from my even sappier fiancé"

"*smile* at least I made you genuinely smile this time"

"Yes you did"

He was still looking at the road as he chuckled lightly. This seemed so natural…but was it right? Am I making the right decision? Why did I turn away from the man I truly loved for the one who already had me? My mind was so mixed up and confused I didn't know what was right anymore…I just kept telling myself I needed to follow through…to do what was safe…but…was safe really enough? Now…I will never know…

/phone ringing/

/phone ringing/

/phone ringing/

**/ "You have reached the telephone of Vash and Knives Saverem! We are not able-what? What do you mean to get off the phone? I'm making the answering machine-hey, HEY! That's mine! Damn it! KNIV"- please leave your message after the beep…. (Beep)/**

/"Yo, Vash! You need to change that voice message, man! Well, this is Mikey. Mitch wanted me to call see if you were planning on coming in tomorrow. He seems pretty pissed that you haven't been picking up his phone calls. Hit me up when you get a chance. Later."/

*2 hour later*

/phone ringing/

/phone ringing/

/phone ringing/

**/ "You have reached the telephone of Vash and Knives Saverem! We are not able-what? What do you mean to get off the phone? I'm making the answering machine-hey, HEY! That's mine! Damn it! KNIV"- please leave your message after the beep… (Beep)/**

/ "Vash, pick up the phone. I need you to call me when you get a chance. This is Mitch."/

*4 hours later*

/phone ringing/

/phone ringing/

/phone ringing/

/ "I hate that damn voice message; pick up the phone idiot. We are in New Neo Jersey. I just thought I would call and let you know."/

*3 1/2 hours later*

/phone ringing/

Stop…please stop calling me…

/phone ringing/

Shut up….

/phone ringing/

*heavy, annoyed sigh* I can't sleep like this, damn it….

/phone ringing/

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! I'm coming!"

**/ "You have reached the telephone of Vash and Knives Saverem! We are no-**

/on the phone/

"He- *cough* hello"

"Yo Vash! You finally picked up! This is Mickey; you got a minute?"

"Actually-"

"Look, I just got off and wanted to know if you wanted to go get a drink tonight"

"I-"

"Come on, you might need it! Mitch is pretty mad that you haven't called him all day."

"I put in for leave on Sunday…"

"Yeah, but you've been on leave since the first. I think you grieving whatever the hell you've been grieving is now at peace and should be ok with you coming back to work. Unless you don't mind getting fired."

"*sigh* is he still in his office?"

"Hell if I know, I left about an hour ago."

"But you said you just got off."

"To me, an hour IS just getting off."

"…whatever. Fine, then I'll just call him tomorrow."

"Alright. You want to come out for that drink though?"

"No, I'll have to pass Mikey."

"Oh…well, if you change your mind, I'll be here at my house until 10"

"Yeah, ok Mike. Thanks for calling"

"You're welcome"

"Night"

"Later."

I hung up the phone and looked over at the clock hanging on the living room wall. It was 9:30 …had I really been in that room all day? I don't even remember getting up off the floor to go to my room...I walked over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, looking to see if I could find something worth eating.

"Looks like we need to make a grocery store trip. I'll do that tomorrow"

I pulled out some sandwich meat and bread then closed the heavy door. I pulled out a chair from under the table and sat down; opening the bread and taking out the last two slices before placing the cold turkey meat on top. I bit into the sandwich and smiled at the satisfaction it brought me…

"AHH, this sure is good! If I had more bread I would make another one!"

I took another bite of the sandwich and sat there listening to the soft breeze blowing outside the window. An unknown neighbor was honking their horn for someone to move out the way and a group of ruffian's were laughing as they walked leisurely down the noisy street. Suddenly I felt so alone…the tears I thought were cried out, began forming in my eyes and I dropped the sandwich down on the table; placing my face into my hands as the soft sobs filled the room around me.

"I am so tired of being alone….why…why can't I have a piece of happiness like everyone else…why does everything have to end so damn wrong for me…"

It wasn't fair…he didn't deserve her…he didn't deserve her smile…the way she lit up a room whenever she entered. He didn't deserve her touch or her compassion…her heart…how could he ever know her like I did…he never shared her heartaches and pains…how she would cry when she heard her favorite song on the radio or sing softly to herself when she didn't think anyone was around. He would never see her like I did…her fiery spirit that never waned regardless of the situation…her genuine concern for people and her friends…she was the mold that held everything together…she was the inspiration that gave me hope…the smile I never thought I could have. He wasn't who she needed…I was. I deserved her. I deserved to see her smile every morning…to hold her in my arms and protect her from harm. I deserved to love her and call her my wife and I can't….I won't…stand by here and let the one thing I let go for so long, slip away from me forever. Damn him and that wedding. I don't care about the odds against me, knives was right. If I love her…if I need her in my life, then I needed to make her see. I need to make her see me. And how I will give her everything she will ever need.

"I need to get to that wedding…I will do whatever it takes to make my happy ending a reality."

I stood up and wiped the remaining tears from my face. It was time for me to stop crying and start doing. I had to find a way to get to her….somehow, someway, I had to get to her. I looked over to the clock and it read 10:05…if I knew Mikey, he would be at that bar on Boxer Street. If anyone could help me, it would be him. I ran to the back to change into a fresh shirt and jeans and then grabbed my jacket and keys and hurried to the door. I had to act fast before he became too drunk to be any use to me; I laced up the last string on my sneakers, unlocked the door and rushed down the hall to the stairwell…

**/"*glass breaking* hey, you have a problem buddy?"**

**"Yeah, you stiffed me and took money that didn't belong to ya"**

**"I say you're lying" **

**"*spitting* if you're implyin I'm a liar, then I will just have to make your ass kicking that much more painful."**

**"*smirk* you're even more full of **** if you think that's gonna happen"**

**"I don't like your smart mouth or your face. Let's take this outside"**

**"Ladies first"**

***suspenseful music* **

***windows closing and people ducking for cover***

**"This is your last chance to give me the loot you took from me in that damn card game"**

**"If I was you…I would worry more about where they are gonna be burying my body."**

**"*spitting* I'm gonna take pleasure in killing you."**

**"*hmph*"**

***suspenseful music* **

***hands twirling***

** *long pause* **

***sweat drops***

** *tumble weed blowing across the horizon* **

***long stare down***

**…. PO"-/ **

/ television lost connection/

"What the hell! And just when it was getting good!"

"Sorry about that sir. We have been having a bad connection since 8 this evening. I believe it has to do with the weather."

"Well that's great. I love that movie too"

"Would you like another drink?"

"….Yeah"

"*catching breath* finally, I thought my legs were going to fall off"

I walked up to the front entrance of the bar and pushed it open. I looked around to see if I could spot mike from the door and then stepped inside when I didn't see him. I was grateful it wasn't really packed tonight and when I spotted him at the bar taking a shot of what looked like whiskey, I made my way over.

"Hey, Mikey"

He turned around and smiled at me as I pulled out a stool and sat down next to him…

"Yo, Vash! So you were able to make it out after all!"

"Yeah"

"You look kinda beat up though. Is this why you've been staying away from work?"

"No, just grieving, but I am done now"

"Great! Now you just have to convince Mitch you still want your job"

"I will deal with that later, mike, I need to ask you a favor"

"I'm listening"

"Do you own or know anyone who owns a hover craft?"

"Uhhhh….well I don't own one, my salary is too laughable for something like that, but *taking a swig of alcohol* I think I can help you out."

"Really! That would be great. Who do you know that I can go to, to get one?"

"Well, my brother has a friend, who just so happens to owe me a favor, that is selling one. I don't know if he will be willing to give it to you for a reasonable price but I could get him to give you a discount."

"I have about ten thousand double dollars in my savings. Do you think he could work with getting eight?"

"Man, I wish I owned that thing! I could use eight thousand double dollars right now!"

"Well, you don't, so do you think he will take it?"

"Probably, he isn't that hard up on cash. Can I ask you something though?"

"What?"

"Why do you need a hovercraft?"

"*long pause* I need-I need to get to Meryl's wedding."

"Oh, well then I will be more than willing to help you get the hovercraft!"

"*confused expression* you weren't before?"

"*smile* I don't really want to have to take over for you at the restaurant again but, seeing that this is a worthy cause, I will do it and not complain."

"Why didn't you go to December for the wedding anyway?"

"Well, to put it bluntly, I never liked the guy she was seeing"

"Wow, I would have never known you didn't like Matt"

"Something about him just seemed too uptight and perfect. Rich guys like him will never know the pains of us poor people."

"But isn't your parents pretty wealthy themselves?"

"Yea, but I'm in collage so they just pay for my duplex and school admission"

"Well, I am glad you are willing to help me"

"We're friends, right? Besides, I would rather see her with you than with that guy"

"…..was it that obvious?"

"Well, sorta, but I was just able to read body language."

"…thanks Mikey."

"No problem. Just promise me you will bring her back with you so you won't have to take an indefinite leave of absence from work"

"*laugh* yeah, I will do my best to do that"

"Alright, then let's get going."

"What do you mean? It's almost midnight"

"It takes two and a half days to get to December by car and about two by hovercraft. If you want to make it there on time, we have to get you outta here before dawn. My brother's friend never sleeps anyway and lives only about a mile from here."

"I have to go back to my house to get the funds"

"Don't worry about it. I'll tell him you will pay him once you get back. The favor he owes me is pretty big"

"*smile* you're a great kid, you know that Mikey!"

"Yep, I know! Let's go"

He pulled some loose bills out of his pocket and placed them on the bar counter. He then motioned for me to come on and I stood up from the bar stool; following him to the front door and then around back to his small car. We hopped inside and he started the engine, easing out of the semi full lot and then turning left in the direction of his brother's friend's house….

"Hey Meryl! Do you think you can come and help me really quick?

"Sure milly, what do you need?"

"I am trying to pick out a nice tie for Mr. Knives to wear tomorrow at the wedding. I can't decide between the light blue one and the white one. What do you think?"

"Well, it depends on what color shirt he is wearing"

"It will be black"

"*dryly* he does know this is a wedding and not a funeral, right"

"Of course he does, ma'am! He just likes the way black looks on him."

"Yeah, matches that dreary personality of his"

"That's not very nice to say Meryl"

"You're right. Since his eyes are that icy blue color then maybe you should get the white one to match his platinum blonde hair. I think it will bring his eyes out more."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Ok, thanks meryl!"

"You're welcome"

She picked up the white, silk tie and proceeded to go to the front store clerk to pay for it. She smiled at the clerk and thanked her as he handed her the small, tote bag and walked back over to me.

"Ready?"

"Yeah"

I stood up and we strolled over to the main door and opened it back to the street. It had to be negative a thousand degrees outside and I began to shiver as we headed back towards knives vehicle.

"I hope they have a lot of yummy dishes at matt's parents' house"

"They will. They have some of the best chefs in December working for them"

"It was really nice of them to allow Mr. Knives and I to stay in one of their extra rooms tonight"

"They knew I would need my maid of honor close to help me if needed, tomorrow."

"*smile* they are nice people."

"Yeah…very nice"

"Are you still worried about tomorrow, ma'am?"

"Oh, no, I'm fine. I am just…tired from all the driving."

"Yeah, Matt was going as fast as Mr. Knives it seems."

"Must have, we meet here exactly at the same time, which is pretty amazing"

"*smile* it sure is!"

We reached knives's truck, opened the door and climbed inside. The first thing I did once she started the engine, was blast the heater. I won't be much use tomorrow if my face falls off before then. She slowly pulled away from the well-lit sidewalk and merged into the light traffic going towards the outer limits of the city and the hill which lead to matt's parents' home. I looked over at her and smiled to myself as I watched her cautiously maneuver through the cars around her. She was taking extra care not to damage knives vehicle.

"Knives is being extra nice to allow you to use his car without him."

"Oh, well he was tired and felt if I really wanted to go somewhere after all the driving we had already done, then he wouldn't stop me."

"Hmmm, so I was right."

"About what meryl?"

"I think knives has finally accepted you as his girlfriend."

"*blush* no, it's not like that…I mean, we, ummm…it's really busy outside isn't it? I would think with it being 8 at night on a Saturday, most of the traffic would be in the city"

"Trying to change the subject, milly?"

"Oh, no ma'am! I was just commenting on the traffic going in our direction."

"*slight smile* I will drop it if it makes you that uncomfortable."

"I didn't say that…"

"Then why don't you just admit you two are acting more and more like a couple with each passing day"

"But Mr. Knives-"

"I know, he would have my head if he knew I was even implying such 'disgusting' notions but that doesn't mean I'm blind to the signs."

"*smile* he would say that wouldn't he"

"That or 'humans are the banes of society and to even state I would lower myself to being with one of its females is a direct insult to my very being' or something along those lines"

"*laugh* you sound just like him Meryl! But we shouldn't be teasing him like this"

"*smile* he won't find out as long as you don't tell him"

"*smile*"

She kept on down the snow ridden street; passing various shops and people in thick, makeshift jackets to protect them from the snow. My mind began to wonder again about the impending future…I still hadn't told her about Matthew's plans to leave this place…to venture into the starry sky and return whenever fate would have us. Something told me it wouldn't be soon enough to see her have children and become a wife…to watch them grow as we became old and senile together….all the events in her future I will be leaving behind to pursue his dream. My heart knew I was going to miss her terribly…even that plant knives was becoming like family to me. I sighed heavily as we turned the last corner before exiting the city and beginning our transition up the hill. Everything before me would become a memory…the ever present changes taking place here on gunsmoke would be like a dream in my mind this time next month…up there in space I would have to get accustomed to only the presence of him and the crew he would be bringing along with us. She fiddled with the radio and began humming along to a familiar tune I hadn't heard in a very long time…

"*milly singing softly* so...On the first night, a pebble falls to the earth from somewhere *humming*

So...On the second night, the pebble's children hold hands and sketch a waltz…"

Oh gosh, why did it have to be this song…the last time I heard this song, I was the one who sung it… the night before Vash left to fight knives…that was over six years ago. It continued to play and I felt my stomach knot at the irony of it all. I would never see them again. Vash, Milly, Knives…I would never…tears I was keeping bottled in began to fall from my eyes and I turned away to stare out the window. Damn this radio station for having this in their library….damn how everything has turned out in my life…I should have stayed with Vash but I was afraid to except what he was telling me. Why did everything become so twisted and distorted in my head. I forced myself to accept my fate and live my life happily with matt but Vash had to say he loved me right before this wedding…nothing about what I was doing seemed right anymore…why….why couldn't he have told me sooner…

"Hey Meryl?"

"*softly speaking* yes, milly?"

"Don't worry about tomorrow."

"…..yeah. I'll try not to…"

The subtle lights of the mansion came into view and milly made the right through the gates of the enclosure….we winded up the road half a block more and then came to a stop next to an snow covered willow tree. She then shut off the engine and tapped me gently…

"Let's get you inside so you can eat and then rest up for your big day."

"*half smile* ok"

We both opened our doors and stepped down onto the slippery pavement. I held on to the car handle tightly as I closed it and then slowly made my way to the side steps leading to the front door. I hope I don't fall on my ass in my wedding dress tomorrow...hell, I hope I don't fall on my ass right now. I continued to walk cautiously up the lighted pathway; mumbling to myself as I placed another foot down into the freshly fallen snow…the snow just had to decide to show up again the week of my wedding…if we all freeze to death heading to the cathedral then I will know it is a sign from god that I wasn't meant to be wed during this terrible weather. Well, I'll be dead, so I guess it would mean I wasn't supposed to be wed at all. Milly helped me up the last step and we walked together to the large, wooden entrance of the Matherson's estate. Before we could knock, the butler opened the door and motioned for us to come inside.

"Did you see us drive up Mr. Butler?"

"Yes, and call me Alfred"

"Ok, Mr. Alfred Butler *smile*"

"*sweat drop* um, well, let's get your coats and boots so I can escort you the dining area."

"Is everyone still here?"

"Yes, most of the guests, with the exception of a few, have been waiting for you to arrive back from your shopping."

"Great…is Matthew awake yet?"

"Yes, he is amongst the people still in the dining room"

"I'm so glad we haven't missed dinner!"

"Yes, most of the dishes are still hot from the oven"

"*big eyes* do they happen to still have some of those tasty cookies from earlier?"

"Yes, madam milly, they do"

"Yeah!"

"If you would just follow me"

"Alright"

He took our coats and boots and placed them inside the closet next to the door. We then followed him down the side hallway into the main dining room area. As we entered, the faces of my future in-laws' lit up and made everyone in the room turn to greet us.

"Meryl dear, you've made it back just in time to eat something. Miss Thompson, I hope you were able to find what you were looking for in the city."

"Yes! I was happy to have Meryl there to help me."

"Meryl! The lucky lady who is marrying that half-pint best friend of mine! Come here and let me give you a hug!"

Jason reached out and hugged me tightly as I struggled to breathe against his rock hard chest. If he didn't think he had enough cologne on before he got here, I was going to assure him that he did. He let me go and smiled at me with his perfectly brightened teeth. If there was someone more into themselves than Matthew, then Jason was it. His emerald green eyes and curly brown hair shined brightly in the lowly lit room and I felt myself roll my eyes as he gave me another thorough look down.

"I almost forgot how fine you were! Matt is a lucky bastard to be marrying you tomorrow!"

"*nervous laugh* yeah, thanks Jason"

"Can I have my fiancé back now?"

I looked over to see matt standing behind him with a slight grin on his face. Jason turned his head to acknowledge him and then turned back to give me one last bright smile…

"Are you sure you don't want me instead? I know how to do all kinds of crazy things in the bedroom-"

"Alright, you horny pervert, get away from her before I have to kick your ass"

"*laugh* you're so eloquent with your statements matt! For a minute I thought you were me!"

"I'm too pretty to ever be you. Now, if you will just move so I can take Meryl to her seat that would be great."

"Fine, I have to get back to my jealous date anyway. You two enjoy this last night together as boyfriend and girlfriend. If I wake up hearing loud screaming and banging going on above my head once we all get to bed, then I will assume you two took my advice literally"

"You're a freaky bastard you know that. I bet you would get a kick out of that if it was to happen."

"Well-"

"Just move Jason"

"*laugh*"

These two were too much; how they were best friends baffled me. Matt reached down and grabbed my hand, smiling at me as he led me to my seat at the table.

"Do you want me to bring you something in particular? We have an array of dishes for you to choose from"

"Just some warm coffee and maybe a scone will be fine"

"You're not hungry?"

"Not really. I stopped and ate something while I was waiting for milly to find her item downtown"

"Ok. Well I'll be right back then"

He kissed me on the forehead and walked over to the serving table to get me the items I requested. Milly was standing there grabbing an assortment of cookies, cakes, and Hors d'œuvre as she talked with an older woman I was assuming was Matt's aunt. I wish she wouldn't talk with that cracker dangling from her mouth...the expression on the older ladies face was telling me that she concurred as well. I felt a light touch on my back and turned to see Matt's father, David, smiling down at with a haze look to his eyes; he must be on the verge of drunkenness…

"Meryl! My beautiful future daughter! *pause* you-you look wonderful as always."

"Hi David *smile* I am wearing the same outfit I arrived in this afternoon-"

"You must promise me that you will give me tons and tons of grandchildren! So this old man won't die lonely….I'm so lonely without little-little itty bity voices around here saying hello and telling me how special I am *crying* Meryl…I'm so happy your *pause* your marrying that son of mine! Isn't she AMAZING everyone! Simp-simplyyy amazing *laugh*"

Apprehensively laughing, I looked at him with a disturbed expression as he laughed erratically. I think someone needs to get him before he has an episode; I began scooting backwards when an older man in a gray suit grabbed a hold of his shoulder and started leading him towards the dining room exit. I shook my head as Matt came walking up with my coffee and scone and sat down next to me.

"Is my father scaring you too much?"

"*chuckling* no, but I don't think we should give him any wine at the wedding"

"*smile* I believe you're right. Here, if you desire another one afterwards, tell me"

"Thank you"

I took a sip of the warm coffee and then broke off a piece of the scone. He was looking at me with those topaz eyes and I could feel my hands grow sweaty as I placed another piece of the pastry in my mouth.

"We should go to bed soon. It's almost 10"

"*chewing* emm, hmm"

"I shouldn't talk to you when you have food in your mouth *smile*"

"It's *pause* It's ok. I agree with you, we should go to bed soon. I'm pretty exhausted."

"Then I'll let my mother know that we should wrap things up within the next thirty minutes."

"They don't have to leave just because I'm tired"

"No, we all need to be rested for tomorrow. If they are all passed out, drunk in the morning, then it will be one hell of a time getting them to the church in the evening."

"Yeah, you're right about that"

"So finish your scone and I'll come get you in a little while"

"Ok, babe"

One last kiss and he got up and made his way back to the various guest standing and talking around the table parallel to me. I sighed once again as I picked up my coffee and took another sip. Mrs. Meryl Matherson…I am going to be a married woman tomorrow…I need to get excited or it's going to be a very long day come the morning.

"*whispering* Here's to the future of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Matherson..."

I lifted my glass and took a larger sip of the warming liquid before setting it down, standing and making my way to the restroom….

The window shield wiper was set to full speed as I pressed down on the gas pedal harder…it was 3 in the morning and I was just passing Little Arcadia so I knew I needed to move faster…Mid Montana was still 6 hours away and then it would take another 4 hours to get to December….I turned the radio up loader in the spacious hovercraft to try and keep myself awake…

"I will make it…I have too…"

I pressed down even harder on the pedal as the rainfall pelted the hood of the vehicle and slid away; the scenery zipping by as the speedometer rose to 95 iles an hours…I'm coming meryl…wait for me…

_/Sunday early afternoon/_

"Hold still madam, I would hate to burn you while I am trying to do this."

"Sorry"

"Meryl, do you think the up do will look best with my dress or should I just wear it down?"

"Either or. Which way do you think Knives would like it best?"

"Oh…well I guess I can try it half up and half down. He never seen me wear my hair like that"

"There you go. Make sure to tell your beautician once she comes back with your conditioner"

"Ok"

"Sit still, please."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot *nervous smile*"

"*eye roll*"

The hair dresser continued putting my hair into the style I choose about a week ago to go with my gown. The morning has been quite hectic considering we got off to a pretty decent start. We woke up at 9 and the sun was shining brightly over the estate, Matt brought me breakfast in bed and I got myself ready to head to the various venues afterwards. Things only started to go downhill after Matt found his father sleeping on the toilet in the downstairs bathroom. It took him damn near an hour to get David off of it and then it took him another forty-five minutes to try and get him coherent enough to drink the hangover concoction Knives so graciously made for him. The mess looked like something from a horror movie but it really did the trick. After that milly had an heart attack because she found out Knives didn't have shoes to go with that stupid tie she bought for him and had to be escorted back downtown to get him a pair. Next, Jason was found in a compromising situation with one of the maid helpers in one of the spare bedrooms and this caused his date to almost castrate him. Matt then had to help his mother find his grandmother, who thought it was ok to go skinning dipping in thirty degree weather at eighty years old and after that we found out the cake might have been mixed up with another couples who was getting married 3 hours ahead of us in another town. Katherine almost had a conniption when she found out. I was finally dropped off at my beautician around 12:30 and milly just got here around 1. It's now 2:15 and we have to be next door to get our makeup and nails done by 3:20. Then we have to be in our dresses and at the cathedral by 5…I think I am going to have a heart attack.

"*1st beautician* Ma'am, would you like this clip in your hair, or this one?"  
"Umm, that one will be fine"

"Ok. Now you have to be really still while I do this"

"Alright"

"*2nd beautician* Miss milly. Do you think we can cut some of your hair?"

"My-my hair?"

"*2nd beautician* Yes, the style you asked me to do requires a shorter hair length."

"How much are we talking about?"

"*2nd beautician* only about an inch in a half"

"…..oh dear"

"2nd beautician* If you would like for me to do something different, I can do that too"

"Meryl?"

"I don't know...will it take longer to choose another style?"

"*2nd beautician* that will depend on miss milly"

"*long pause* and you promise it will only be an inch in a half"

"*2nd beautician* Yes, if I cut more then I won't charge you for my services"

"…..ok, let's do it"

"*2nd beautician* Very well"

I hope milly will be ok after it's finished; she's been growing her hair since our days back at Bernardelli. She was very proud of the brunette locks and know this must be hard for her…

"*1st beautician* Well, ma'am, what do you think? All we need is some hair spray and we will be done"

I turned to look at the artwork she produced and could feel a smile spread across my face. It looked exactly like the picture…

"Oh I love it meryl! The clip really pulls the style together!"

"Yes it does."

"*1st beautician* I thought the crystal blue clip would be prettier than the plain, clear one. It will give you a splash of color in an otherwise all white canvas"

"*confused* are you talking about my wedding dress or a piece of artwork?"

"*1st beautician* *smile*Oh sorry, I just talk like this"

"*smile* it's ok"

"*2nd beautician* Once miss milly is finished we will send you both next door for your makeup and nail appointment"

"Great"

I looked up at the clock and it read 2:45. Hopefully she doesn't take too long to finish Milly's hair so we won't be late…

"Your tux is almost ready sir"

"Thank you, just hang it on the hook outside once it's finished"

"Alright"

He proceeded to go back next door to the seamstress as I continued getting my hair cut. Jason was sitting next to me looking over a magazine as the stylist snipped away at his long curls; the bastard was lucky that girl didn't have any coordination or he would be in the hospital right now…sometimes I wonder if he was dropped on his head as a child, that would explain his moments of complete stupidity.

"Hey, do you think I can find another date before the wedding?"

"*dryly* what do you think Jason"

"Maybe that cute maid will go with me"

"How? You got her fired."

"Well, she did give me her number but her boyfriend probably wouldn't agree with me taking his girlfriend on a date"

"Nor would he probably appreciate you screwing her either."

"Hey, she was asking for me to take advantage of her wearing that little skirt like she did. How did your mom even allow for her to become one of their maids anyway?"

"She is the daughter of one of the elder helpers. She was filling in for her mother while she was helping my mother take care of getting ready today."

"Oh, that would explain why she had such soft hands"

"*shaking head* your male extremities is going to get you hurt one of these days."

"'male extremities'? Really matt. Do you call yours that when you are fooling around with that pretty young lady your about to marry?"

"She doesn't need me to call it anything. All she cares about is what it does for her"

"*wicked smile* I bet"

"How about you just get your hair cut and stop being you for a minute"

"*laugh* you love me just the way I am! That's why I am your best friend and best man!"

"*dryly* I wouldn't go so far as to say I love you"

"*gasp* no! That's messed up Matt"

"*smile* just be shut up and read your magazine"

He rolled his eyes and went back to flipping through pages. The clock read 3:50 and that meant I only had forty minutes to get showered and in my tux before we had to be at the cathedral. I am glad our personal barber had a shower in the back but I wasn't worried about myself being ready in time. Jason was almost as bad as a woman when it came down to getting himself dressed. At times he would even wear concealer if he found the slightest blemish on face; I at least stopped at daily moisturizing.

"Would you like me to spike your remaining hair Mr. Matherson?"

"I-"

"Yea, and while you're at it, you should put some pink highlights in there *smile*"

"Very funny Jason, but I'll leave the overtly gay cosmetic changes to you"

"A lot of guys get highlights"

"Really, name one, besides yourself"

"Ha, ha, ha, very clever matt, but that guy you used to have as an accountant had highlights"

"Yes, and he wanted to date me as well"

"Oh…well how about that older gentleman that worked on your committee back in New Neo Jersey?"

"He colored all his hair. He was trying to cover his grays"

"Well, I know I've seen straight guys with highlights before"

"You probably have, but I'm not getting them"

"*barber speaking* so is that a yes or no with the spiking?"

"Nothing too drastic, maybe just a slight curve in the front"

"Maybe when we are in space you'll lighten up a little"

"I might be reconsidering having you as a crew member; I don't need you trying to seduce the female personnel"

"Or your wife"

"*slanted eyes* you do and I will toss you into outer space and leave you there"

"*laugh* I was just joking, I wouldn't do that to you"

"*hmph*"

"*butler speaking* your tux is ready for you now and hanging outside the door, Mr. Matherson. The same goes for yours as well, Mr. Livingston"

"Thank you Alfred, we will be done shortly"

He bowed and left us again to finish arranging our ride to the cathedral.

"Too bad meryl doesn't have a younger sister"

"Why not older?"

"I would hate for her to die before me while we are up there in space…"

"That is understandable"

"Or become old and saggy with wrinkles and a flat ass"

"I was waiting for you to say something stupid"

"*smile* I never disappoint"

"* joint laugh*"

Our barbers dusted us off before unbuckling the cloth straps around our necks and flinging them off.

"*barber speaking* the showers are ready when you are"

"Thank you"

"See you the next time I am in December, Max"

"Alright, Mr. Livingston"

We stood up and proceeded to the shower area in the far back of the salon…I know I shouldn't be nervous, but I was. In two hours I was going to be a married man…at least it was going to be to the woman I truly loved…suddenly I felt a hard smack against the back of my head.

"Stop day dreaming lover boy and hurry the hell up! I can't get around you in this narrow ass hallway, you know"

"Do that again and you will have a bigger problem"

"I would hate to ruin that handsome face of yours before your wedding"

"*dryly* I would be more concerned about yours than mine"

"Yeah, whatever, just walk faster"

"*eye roll*"

With the exception of the idiot behind me, I was excited to see how our impending future will turn out…

_/Sunday Evening-The Cathedral/_

"You look GOREGOUS! Meryl, you-I can't believe this is the same girl I grew up with!"

"*blushing* Stephanie, thank you. It means a lot to me"

"I just can't believe you're getting married! I think I am going to cry"

"No, don't. If you do then I will"

"You do look absolutely stunning Meryl, it's nice to see you in something besides our work uniform"

"Thank you meg"

"Well you ladies seem to be making my future cousin in law tear up! I am glad you are here to support her on this beautiful day!"

"*Stephanie speaking* I *chocked up pause* I wouldn't of missed it for the world *teary smile*"

"Oh, Steph. I told you not to cry"

"I can't help it *sniff* I just wish carol could have come. She would be so proud of her old next door neighbor"

"I know Steph, I know."

I stood there looking at the crying and emotional women I knew, and some that I didn't, and felt so blessed to have them here with me. I knew I wasn't supposed to cry but I could feel the tears starting to swell up in my eyes. The glimmer of the golden handle to the thick, wooden side door began to move and milly came in with my mother. I was happy to see them both standing there with their beautiful dresses and wide grins. I still tried to contain my tears as milly began to speak…

"*smile* well ladies, they are about ready for you. I wanted to know if I could have a moment with the bride to be with her mother before we start."

"*Stephanie speaking* of course milly *sniff* I'll see you out there Meryl"

"*Meg speaking*Yes Meryl, congratulations once again"

"*Betty speaking* I am so proud of you, I just wanted to tell you that if I forgot too."

"*Maggie speaking* remember, don't trip when you're making that long walk! If you do, I might just have to laugh at you *smile*"

"*Matt's cousin* Congrats, Mrs. Meryl Stryfe."

"*Matt's 2nd cousin* Yes, congrats!"

"*emotional tone* thank you, thank you all so much"

They gave me their final hugs and one by one made their way to the door. Milly smiled at them all, whispering a few things to Stephanie and then entered the room along with my mom.

"*Meryl's mother* Oh baby, you look so magnificent! I can't believe this day has finally come. You're father and I couldn't be happier for you."

"Thanks Mom. Is dad ready to walk with me when the time comes?"

"Of course. He almost had a fit when he thought we were going to be late but he is outside finishing getting himself fixed up"

"*Milly speaking* Oh ma'am…Meryl, my best friend. I-I am so glad I am here right now with you. *sniff* we have come a long way haven't we?"

"Oh milly *emotional tone* I know right *smile*"

"*emotional tone* I know things haven't always been easy, and I know life has given you some rocky patches but you made it through and look where you are now. *pause* I love you like a sister, and I couldn't be happier and more excited for you. I think Nick would have loved to see this"

"Milly *crying* milly, thank you. Thank you for always being here for me, regardless of the situation. You will always be my best, most cherished friend in the world"

"*Meryl's mother* you two ladies are about to make me cry!"

"*Joint teary laughter*"

"*Milly speaking* do you think I can have a moment alone with her, ma'am?"

"*Meryl's mother* Yes, of course. I'll see you out there sweetheart"

"Ok mom"

She gave me another tender smile and walked towards the door. Milly gave her a wave as she exited the room to be seated in the church hall.

"Meryl, I wanted you to have this"

"Wha-"

She placed a small charm into my palm and closed it…

"It was given to me by grandmother from her grandmother. *smile* I wanted you to have something old that was passed down from my family to your new one. I hope it brings you the best of luck"

"*sad expression* milly, you are such a wonderful person. Thank you"

"Why do you look sad ma'am?"

"I *pause* it is nothing. There is just so many emotions I am going through right now"

"Oh…. you never answered my question from that day at the seamstress"

"Question…"

"I know you are emotional because of all the love you are receiving from everyone right now and I wanted to let you know that I support you regardless of the circumstances. I know this may not be the right question to ask you but I have to know. Are you really happy with the decision you are about to make? I am happy for you, you know this, but I need to know that you are too. "

I took a step back and sat down in the small, round cushioned chair. I looked up at the mirror attached to the beautifully crafted dresser and began to look over the woman that was staring back at me. Here I was in this elegant white gown and veil, with my hair wrapped with curls flowing from the top; my makeup was perfectly applied and I was wearing my mother in laws sparkling, diamond studs in each ear... I looked like a perfect bride, happily awaiting to walk down the aisle to her prince charming. In my mind this was exactly how I imagined it when I was a little girl…me marrying a great guy and getting all that the world had to offer me…but….the image of his face came back to the forefront of my mind and I began to genuinely cry…he wasn't my prince charming…matt was a great guy but I knew I didn't love him…not like I loved Vash. In times like these I was normally the sound minded one. I always knew what to do. I when I had duty, I finished it with precision and without doubt. Now, I was marrying a man I only felt was safest for me…I didn't really know why…I just couldn't take what Vash was telling me…what he was showing me….all in one night. So I pushed him away. I ran away from the one man that I knew would bring me the greatest gift of all. I didn't care about the money…I didn't care about the establishment…I didn't care about the endless opportunities Matt promised me. I just wanted the man I loved more than anything in the world. God, I wish I would have just let him love me like he was trying to…now I am here and it is too late. I'm losing him forever because I didn't know how to take him…why…why couldn't things have turned out differently.

"Meryl, you know you have a choice. I know matt is a wonderful man, but you don't have to marry him"

"*emotional tone* yes I do…he is all I have left. I don't want to be alone anymore; Matt is going to give me what I need and I can't just let that go too."

"But meryl-"

"No. it is fine. I am happy. Even if I don't love him right now, I will learn too"

"Do you hear what you are saying Meryl?"

"Of course I do milly but I can't let these people down. My mother…my father…they came here to see their daughter marry a man that can finally give them peace of mind. I know I might be crazy, but I don't want to hurt them just because I decided to be in love with someone I messed up being with. Matt deserves his happy ending and I am going to make sure he has it."

"Meryl…."

"*soft tone* I will be ok milly, this is how it was meant to be. Now…will you please give me a minute to compose myself…."

"….alright"

I was looking down as the sound of her heels resonated off the hard wood floor and filled the room; the click of the door closing letting me know she was really gone. I lifted my face and began dotting off the tears that stained my made up cheeks; trying to prevent myself from replacing them with fresh ones. I tried not to think about how insane I sounded. I knew it was crazy, but I felt it was for the best. My family would never understand how I could allow myself to fall in love with Vash the Stampede…they would never except or embrace him like they have done with matt. I guess I was allowing their happiness to take precedence over my own …and besides… I lost my chance at it, back in Yuba City. I chose this and now I have to deal with it. I started reapplying makeup to where the tears took it off when I began to hear the familiar sounds of organ music playing throughout the room. I exhaled deeply, stood up and looked myself over one last time before the knocking on the door let me know it was time to start…

Damn it! How could that damn hovercraft breakdown two hours before I arrived in December! I was lucky that truck driver was going my way after four hours of sitting there trying to fix the damn thing! My luck always seemed to suck the most when it mattered the most to have it around. I was practically sprinting to the church now. The wedding began almost twenty five minutes ago and I was still eight blocks away…I was hoping, damn near wishing that their priest would take a long ass time reading over what it meant to be married…I continued to run as fast I could…the feeling in my legs was beginning to leave me and I almost tripped from exhaustion… please god, I know I messed up a lot in my life. I know I am not perfect and I know I was a fool for taking so long to say the words I needed to say so many years ago…but I need you to help me! I need you to get me to this church and give me the strength to take back what is rightfully mine…please...please…don't let this be how everything ends….the sweat from my forehead was stinging my eyes as I continued to force my legs to keep running…I had to use all that I had left, to get there before it was too late…

I was looking at his handsome face and could feel my heart begin to quicken…the priest was almost finished with reciting the ritual prayers, rights of marriage and what it meant to be a unified couple. I stood there trying not to lose face as he got closer to his closing statements and then the handing of the rings, our vows and the final kiss…everything was going to change now. I was going to be leaving everyone behind to spend the rest of my life with Matt. I will miss them…. I will never forget them….oh please…don't lose face now Meryl….just stop thinking and allow yourself to live this moment with him…

"…..so it is god's wish for us to live happily in his grace and caring hand. We are witnessing the forming of the precious gift he has allowed us to share with him and it brings me great joy to be a part of this wedding today. So let me say this now before we continue into the exchanging of rings and reading of vows. Though I know this union is blessed by all in this room and it would seem no one among us would want to pull these two beautiful people apart, but if there is anyone who feels these two should not be together, may they speak now or forever hold their peace."

Silence echoed the large cathedral as they sat there with mouths closed. I inhaled deeply as the priest looked around and then proceeded…

"Well, since there isn't anyone who objects, then we shal-

Before he could utter the rest of his sentence, a loud banging came from behind the church doors. It seemed like something or someone, was hitting them.

"What the hell"

We all turned and stared down the long aisle way as some cursing could be heard from behind the locked entry. Suddenly a loud popping sound resonated throughout the massive hall as the door handle obliterated from what looked like bullet holes. Oh hell, are we being attacked by some crazy ass bandits now? It's a wedding for pete's sake! Can't they….before I could finish my thought, the door flung open and a very disheveled and sweaty Vash was standing there looking at us with wide eyes…

"*yelling* first *catching breath* did I hit anybody?"

"*random people speaking* "no" "I'm fine" "who the hell are you?"

"*yelling* good….secondly…."

I watched as he began to enter into the church and then stop once he was partially inside…

"I *heavy breathing* I object"

My eyes grew wide as everyone looked at the strange man with a sweat soaked t shirt and dirty jeans…the priest cleared his throat, readjusted his collar and looked on at Vash as he stood there breathing heavily; staring at us with determination and assurance.…

"What do you object to, young man?"

"I object to this damn marriage!"

I could feel the tension grow in the room as Matt opened his mouth to speak…

"*angry tone* Vash, what the hell are you doing!"

"*angry tone* what the hell does it look like I'm doing!? I'm not going to allow you to marry her!"

"*angry tone* I'm going to tell you this once. Leave before I make you leave!"

"*raised voice* just shut the hell up, matt! I am not here for you. I don't give damn if you don't like what I am saying because I am going to say it anyway."

He then looked directly at me and I could feel my heart fluttering behind my chest as he began to speak firmly…

"Meryl, I know you don't love him. I know for almost six years I have foolishly allowed my pride to blind me to what was staring me in the face the whole time. I know I was wrong to allow you to cry and hurt because I didn't want to accept you. I didn't think I deserved you. Me coming from a lifestyle of bloodshed and violence and you being this beautiful woman who brought a lonesome gunslinger happiness. Meryl, I know I could never give you everything he can. I don't have an endless amount of wealth and I don't own a ton of fancy things. I know I am foolhardy and at times close minded but I always knew you were something special to me. If you would just allow me to give you what I have been neglecting for so long to give, I promise you…I promise you I will never hurt you again. Meryl, please baby, don't marry this man. You deserve to be happy with me because I love you. I have always loved you. Don't leave me to live this life alone without you. Please be my wife instead"

I could feel every last ounce of self-control leave me as tears of joy ran down my face…he came…he came back for me…I never thought words could feel me with such a sense of fulfillment. I looked over to milly, who was holding her mouth, crying as well. I never thought he would come back for me…for so long that was all I ever wanted. I just wanted him to see me and to tell me that he always has…my body began walking towards him but was stopped as a strong hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me back…

"Look, Vash, I get it. You are upset because another man has come and taken away your chances at being with the woman of your dreams. I feel for you but that isn't my problem. Meryl is going to be MY wife and I don't particularly care if you like it or not."

Jason and Matt's three other groomsmen proceeded to stand in front of us as to stop Vash from getting any closer…

"*Jason speaking* that was a great speech but I'm not going to let some grimy nobody come in here and take my best friend's girl. So you can just turn the hell around and leave"

"*2nd groomsman* the same goes for me. If I have to kick your ass here in this church, I will gladly do so."

"*3rd groomsman* so what do you want to do Vash? Do you think you can take all of us on?"

"*4th groomsman* exactly, You washed up bastard. I hate a guy who thinks he can whine his way back into the arms of a woman. If she really wanted you, don't you think she would have said no to him and been with you instead?"

"That's enough!"

They turned to see an irritate knives glaring up at them as he stood up from his seat, walked his way over to Vash and stood next to him…

"My brother may be a lot of things, but I will not allow you ignorant sons of bitches to call him a washed nobody. If you want to fight him, then you will have to come here and kick my ass as well. But trust me, you don't want to fuck with me."

"Mr. Knive-"

"Quiet Milly! Stay out of this"

"Jason speaking* well I'll be damn. I thought something was up with you when you wouldn't speak with us at the party! You're the bastard brother! Well, I guess we will be having to kiss two asses for the price of one"

"*Vash speaking* that was the dumbest line I have ever heard. If you value your life, you would keep that big mouth of yours shut."

"*4th groomsman* are we supposed to be afraid of you or something?"

"*matt speaking* *slanted eyes* you shouldn't be making threats against people's lives. Tread carefully, Vash, or you might not be walking out of here a free man."

"*Vash speaking* like I give a damn about that. If your little lap dogs want to fight me and my brother then they are asking to get their asses handed to them in a condition they didn't start in"

"*2nd groomsman* arrogant little prick. I'll like to see you try!"

They began walking towards them and knives and Vash stood their ground. Oh gosh, I should do something! I need to do something!

"*knives whispering* you go for the two on the left and I'll take the two on the right"

"*Vash whispering* alright, and if matt joins in, he's mine"

"*knives speaking* I have no problem with that"

I watched as the plants took a stance that meant they were about to defend themselves if it came down to it and knew I didn't want to see four innocent, but foolish, men get massacred right in front of me. I knew I would probably regret this but it needed to be done. Damage control Meryl, just like in the old days. To matt's surprise, I broke out of his grip and dashed down the steps from the elevated platform; I ran past the four men and placed myself in between them and the two plants, with arms extended wide.

"Look, I know you are just trying to protect the dignity of Matthew, but trust me, you don't want to fight these two men."

"*Jason speaking* get out the way Meryl, I know you don't want us to hurt your ex and his brother bu-

"Look you idiot! I know it has been years since this man's face has been plastered all over the most wanted posters but his name will forever be engraved in this planets memory. This man is none other than the legendary humanoid typhoon. The 60,000,000,000 double dollar outlaw who was dubbed a living natural disaster by the Bernardelli Insurance Society; Vash the Stampede. And the other is the guy who was behind the destruction of July, the hole in the fifth moon and countless other tragedies in this plants history that you couldn't even imagine. Just walk away from this before we all wind up dead!"

That got them. I never thought I would see so many people lose the color in their faces as fast as they did…

*people gasping and jumping out of their seats*

"*2nd groomsman* *panic tone* no-no way! Are you telling me that dusty looking bastard is none other than Vash the Stampede!?"

"*4th groomsman* oh hell! He WILL kill us all! How the hell could you get involved with someone like that?!"

"*Jason speaking* she's lying! No why could this guy be the real deal! He doesn't even have on that damn red coat Vash the Stampede was known for!"

"*Vash speaking* She's not lying. I am Vash the Stampede. *sarcastic tone* you would think the name would give it away"

"*Jason speaking* are you trying to imply something asshole?!"

"*Vash speaking* well, you don't seem too bright, so I guess I am. Take a good look at me jackass and tell me if I don't fit the description."

I could see red illuminating Jason's entire face as he looked over Vash more carefully. A sudden realization surfaced in his expression, as the accusations I made registered in his mind as correct and he took a couple of steps back…

"*Jason speaking* blond spiked hair… a mole above his left eye and, seeing how you shot up that door handle without hitting a single person, ace marksman...you are Vash the Stampede….you're VASH THE STAMPEDE!"

"*Vash speaking* well thank your lucky stars, you aren't as dense as you appear to be"

"*3rd groomsman* *frightened tone* hey screw you man! Like she said, we haven't heard anything about you in years and we assumed you were dead! I-I really don't want to fight you, so please just leave and spare us!"

"*knives speaking* damn, I'm chopped liver aren't I. She did say I was behind the destruction of July didn't she? Not to mention I am the reason you damn vermin are even on this desolate planet to begin with!"

"*2nd groomsman* no way in hell are you the cause of the Great Fall! That would make you over a hundred and thirty-eight years old and you don't look a day over twenty-five!"

"*Vash speaking* it's ok. He's just mad you guys aren't quivering in fear at his presence."

"*Knives speaking* *dryly* remind me to kick your ass once we leave this damn place."

I shook my head as I watched Matt's family, as well as my own, begin to huddle in the far corner of the cathedral as a means to escape the fury of the great humanoid typhoon. Like that will help if he decided to go crazy and shoot this place to smithereens which, thankfully, I knew he wouldn't. I looked up to see Matt looking on at everything in disbelief along with the two remaining bridesmaids that wasn't in the corner with everyone one else. Milly was just standing there with her arms next to her side not saying or looking like anything. The four groomsman were gradually making their way back towards the stepped platform as I began rationalizing within myself. I knew what I had to say and after a moment of thinking it over, I placed a resolute expression on my face and began to speak once again…

"*loud tone* I am glad you all came out today. I didn't mean for any of this to happen but, as we all know, we can't control the way things take place. I am sorry in advance for hurting and disappointing some of you for the words I am about to say but..."

I then turned to face Vash as he stood there looking at me with questioning eyes…

"Vash…you are the most complicated man I have ever met. You jump into terrible situations without thinking about the consequences of your actions or how it might affect others. You act foolish when you think it is the best answer to your problems. You are reckless and unorganized….and a damn headache for anyone you come into contact with."

"Oh, well, that isn't very nice…"

"But…"

"Oh, there's a 'but'"

"*shaking head**smiling* yes, there is a 'but' Vash and the 'but' is this…Vash, regardless of how many times you have done brash things and have put yourself in harm's way…you have always done it with a caring heart and selfless soul. You are the greatest man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and the best friend a girl could ever have. You are who I have cried for…you are who I would have died for. I never knew meeting the legendary outlaw, chasing after him wherever he went and placing myself in constant danger because of it, would lead me to falling in love with him. I have no regrets in how my life turned out and I am the happier for it. I love you Vash. I will never love anyone else the way I love you. And *tearful tone* and I am happy…that you came back for me."

I looked at him with tearful eyes and he began to cry…this sensitive man….this wonderful goofball was who I loved and I don't mind saying that I do…I then turned back around to face matt and exhaled deeply as I began the last half of my long statement…

"Matt, you are a great man. A handsome, charming, charismatic and countless other complements I could go on and on about. Any girl in their right mind would die to have someone like you in their lives. I know you will be a great husband and I know you will live a wonderful life with someone who truly wants to share it with you. I will always cherish what we had and I will never forget you. I am sorry I couldn't love you like you deserved but that is because I have always known in my heart you were not the person I truly wanted. I tried to force myself to look past my emotions and do what was rational in my mind, even if that meant to disregard my own happiness. I would be lying to you if I continued with this and became your wife and I don't want to lie to you anymore. You are a prince charming, matt…..just not mine."

His head went limp as his friends and family looked on with sad, hurt expressions. I knew they would be upset…I knew they would be hurt…but I think it is better to say what was really in my heart then lie and live miserably as an addition to their family. I looked back over to matt, who was making his way down the steps slowly towards me...I stood there with my arms to my sides as he stopped in front of me, trembling. He looked into my eyes as tears ran down his perfect face, then, grasping my shaking hand, he gently placed a kiss on top of it, lifting his head to look at me one last time before speaking lightly…

"I will love you forever Meryl *pause* I am sorry I couldn't be the man you wanted to share *emotional tone* to share your life with. I wish you nothing but the best, my beautiful princess…"

He then let go of my hand and began walking in the direction of the small rooms on the side of the church…a part of me felt terrible for hurting him…but I knew I would have done worst if I married him. Katherine went running after him, followed by David, Jason and his two female cousin bridesmaids. I felt two soft arms embrace me as I looked up to see a crying milly smiling down at me. I returned her embrace and she then pulled away from me and spoke…

"Meryl, you did the right thing."

"Thanks milly"

"Now…go to the man you love *smile*"

I smiled back at her and then turned to face Vash. He had that wide grin plastered on his face and I could feel my heart melt as a wonderful sense of relief washed over me. I made my way to him and then stopped once he was in arm's length…

"I am *teary tone* sorry I ever pushed you away"

"It's alright, I wouldn't had it any other way"

"*confused expression* why?"

"Because it forced me to finally say what was in my heart."

"*crying* well, then I am happy too."

"Can I kiss you now?"

"*smile* yes, you silly man, yes"

He then wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me close…leaning down and kissing me tenderly as I wrapped my arms around his neck to bring him closer to me…I felt him lift me up as the tears ran down my eyes freely at the sheer joy I felt in my heart…

"Disgusting"  
"I know! Isn't it wonderful Mr. Knives! They finally found each other"

"*dryly* yeah, I suppose"

"*smile* and you know what?"

"What?"

"I think I want to share in this experience!"

We broke our kiss just in time to see a very surprised knives being kissed by a very happy milly…

"You go insurance girl! Wooo!"

"*smile* knives, you got to admit you like it! That huge blush is giving you away if you try to say otherwise!"

He gave us one last evil stare as he finally broke down and kissed her back…well, I do say…I think this day couldn't have ended in a better way…

"Let's go home *smile*"

"I would like that very much. What is the first thing you plan to do once we get back?"

"Well, to tell you the truth, I have to call Mitch to see if I still have my job! All these sick days I've taken has left him pretty ticked off with me!"

"Your hopeless, you know this right"

"No, but I know what I am going to do afterwards"

"And what is that?"

"I'm going to finish what I started on Wednesday *wink*"

"*blushing* oh…"

"Hey you two! Are you ready?"

We looked over to see milly holding Knives hand, dragging him towards the main entrance. Poor guy, now he will never be able to say how much he hates humans anymore…I'm glad…

"Yeah!"

"Wha"

Vash then lifted me up, marital style, and followed Milly and Knives out the large, wooden cathedral doors…

_/two and a half weeks later/_

**/ "In breaking new today: The starship K.M.D., rebuilt and crewed by one of the chief figures of D.M Matherson Inc., Matthew Matherson himself, has been said to have safely entered orbit today and will be heading out into the starry beyond for an indefinite amount of time until further contact is made with the Matherson Estate…."/**

I didn't know the bastard had a spaceship?! Where the hell was he hiding that thing? Up his ass?

"Babe! You didn't tell me you're ex fiancé had a spaceship!"

She peaked her head out the kitchen door and then looked at the television broadcasting his ship during takeoff…

"Yeah, he was going to take me to see the universe"

"What?! Are you serious! So you were going to leave Gunsmoke to go see the stars without me?!"  
"*smile* well, he didn't invite you! Besides, I wasn't really thrilled about leaving anyway"

"No? Why not?"

"I would've had to leave behind my family and friends, milly and knives and even you...under those circumstances, I wasn't too convinced about taking that adventure with him."

"But if you married him, you would be on that ship right now, going off into the vast void that is outer space, wouldn't you"

"Yep! But that is why I didn't marry him"

"*pouting* I thought you didn't marry him because you loved me"

"Is that what I said *smile*"

"Hey! That's not very nice meryl"

"*laugh* you know I'm teasing you. Why don't you find a movie for us so once dinner is ready we can watch it"

"Alright"

She grinned at me and went back into the kitchen. I reached under the decent sized coffee table and pulled out the bin containing Milly and Meryl's videotapes. I wonder how the big girl is doing anyway. Since crashing Meryl's wedding two and half weeks ago, she has been staying over at Knives apartment the majority of the time. I moved back here to be with Meryl and now I barely see her. It was nice to see their relationship blossoming so well; even though knives still refuses to call it such. I'll never get him…

"*raised voice* do you want mixed vegetables with your tomas meat and potato's?!"

"*raised voice* sure!"

I continued looking through tapes, some old, some new, and ran across the one about alien's romancing humans. I let out a light laugh as the memory of knives handing it to milly ran across my mind…

"He was trying to tell her even before he wanted us to know. This movie was still corny as hell"

"What movie?"

I looked up to see Meryl staring down at me, smiling. She decided to trim her hair down to the short bob I first met her with and she was wearing those pretty bluish-violet earrings she bought all those months ago. I smiled back at the beautiful woman and answered…

"This one, **_Attack from beyond_**"

"Are you serious?! *laugh* Wow, that does sound corny as hell!"

"Knives made milly and I watch this six and half months ago"

"NO! *long laugh*"

"*smile* I know, I laughed my ass off too. He just wanted her to know how much he wanted to 'romance her' *laugh*"

"*catching breath* he would be so mad right now. He probably didn't think you would notice"

"I know *smile* but the picture I took the day after would make him even madder!"

"You took a picture too! You have to let me see!"

"*smile* I am waiting for him to go into another one of his rants so I can use it as propaganda…or when he has kids"

"*smile* your wrong for that"

"*wicked grin* I know"

We gently laughed together as she took a seat next to me and began looking through the bin as well.

"How about this one?"

"Nah, I've seen that one three times already"

"Ok….this one?

"That's the one I got milly for her birthday when I didn't know what else to buy, two years ago. It looked ok until we watched it…I was hoping she threw it away right after."

"*smile* I don't know then. Which one looks best to you?"

"None of them"

"*confused expression* what?"

"I think I have a better idea"

"Really, like what?"

I then pulled her close to me and kissed her…pulling her closer as to make the kiss deeper and more passionate. Her hand entangled itself into my hair as she began exploring my mouth and I let out a soft sigh as her light moans began penetrating my eardrums…this was way better than any movie, any day. While still kissing her, I lifted her up and began walking to my old bedroom….I gently placed her down on the soft mattress and laid myself on top of her as I broke our kiss and began working my lips lower; kissing the outline of her jaw and then the sensitive area around her neck. She began to arch up underneath me and I made my way down to her collarbone and then the top of her chest. I could feel the acceleration of her heartbeat as I begun to pull down her tank top straps and kiss lower. Moans escaped her mouth once again while I ran the tip of my tongue over the outline of her breast, moving the thin fabric away from them and then taking the tender mounds one by one into my mouth. She placed one of her small legs on my lower back as her hand squeezed into my hair tighter and she arched her body higher. I loved seeing her body react to my fondling and exploring….I then slid the shirt down her fluttering stomach, lightly kissing the damping skin and making her body pulsate more. She began digging into my shirt and I lifted myself to remove the confining garment. I was always self-conscious about my scars…the endless riddles of stiches and metal but she never showed a glimmer of fright to their presence… she seemed to enjoy running her fingers down them and examining their perplexity. I could feel her soft hands move across my toned torso and I began to unbutton her jeans and slide them down. Her face was interwoven with desire and anticipation as I lifted her legs up and removed them, tossing the thick fabric across the room and then gliding my fingertips over her exposed legs. Head rolling and slightly cursing, she didn't seem to like my slow foreplay. As a way to show her that I had no intentions of toying with her any longer, I lifted her legs and placed one on each side of my shoulders. I began kissing her left ankle as I grazed my lips up her lean leg to her inner thigh, repeating the process of kissing and sucking down her right leg…causing her leg to jump as I located one of her spots. I proceeded to move upwards, running my tongue faintly over her fair skin as I reached the sheer lavender panties that matched her missing lavender bra. I looked down at the yearning beauty and smiled. I placed a quick kiss on the thin material and caused her legs to get slightly tense; I kissed her again, but this time a little harder and she half parted her violet eyes and looked up at me pleadingly…I then ran my hand down her thigh and grabbed a hold of the delicate undergarment, ripping at it until it tore away from her lower region, revealing the final piece to the sexy puzzle. I took my finger and began to slowly stroke the small, engorged area between her legs and she began to moan deeply…gripping the blanket beneath her as I continued moving up and down on her most sensitive body part. I could feel myself grow more excited as she began whispering obscenities under her breath and I removed my finger from the amply wet location and began flicking it with the tip of my tongue; she inhaled deeply, as her small frame pulsated with each flick making her grip the covers tighter…

"*softly speaking* do you like that?"

"…."

"*softly speaking* I will take that as a yes"

"*whispering* please…please stop messing with me..."

"*softly speaking* alright"

As requested, I stopped flicking her with my tongue and replaced it with my lips; tenderly sucking the throbbing formation of skin and being rewarded with loud groans mixed with my name…

"Vash….oh shit Vash…..I love what you do to me baby….shit….don't stop….don't stop….."

My mind was melting away as she moaned my name over and over again as her body grew closer to a climax…I felt like I was going to lose myself as I buried my mouth deeper onto her and felt her lose the last restraint keeping her from orgasiming. I held onto her legs tightly as she arched upwards as high as she could and cried out to me, making the hardening bulge in my pants become fully stiff. I need her…I don't think I can last much longer not feeling her surrounding me…I pulled my face away and looked down at her as her breathing became steadier and body more limp. I removed her legs from my shoulders and placed her gently back onto the bed. She laid there mumbling and lightly trembling as I undid the button to my pants; sliding them along with my boxers downwards and them removing them completely. I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers and she let out an aftermath moan into my mouth, causing me to roll my eyes inward and moan along with her. I then broke the kiss to whisper sexily into her ear…

"I want to feel you Meryl….I want to make you scream as loud as you can while I make you come for me once again…"

She clenched her teeth as I bite into her ear and began lifting her leg to straddle my hip…I bite down harder as I slowly pushed the head into her slick opening and cursed as I entered her completely. She felt so damn good…I hope I can last long enough to really enjoy her…

"*moaning*"

"*low tone* Damn baby…..you're so tight and wet….I love the way you feel…"

She bite her inner lip as I began getting into my rhythm and moving gradually in and out, causing her to dig into my back and pull into me as to make me go deeper…I grabbed a hold of her hips and forced myself down into her and I could feel her grow tighter and hotter as I moaned her name. I then pulled halfway out and slammed back into her, quickening my strides and we both began cursing and moaning out to each other…

"Vash…god, Vash…."

"Shit…shit…."

"Yes babe…I can feel it…I…."

"*growling* come for me…..come for me baby….I want you too….I…I want to feel you explode around me…"

"Vash…"

"Come"

"Vash…  
"Come baby…"

"Mmmmmmmmm….."

"Yes….god yes…I can feel you getting tighter and tighter…you're…..you're almost there…"

"Oh vash…vash….vash…."

"Take it…take everything I give you….t-tak-"

I was on the verge of climaxing as I went deeper and faster against her g-spot…causing her to stride with me and I began losing control…I was going to make her come for me…I was….I…..

"Mer-Meryl….Meryl...mer"  
"Vash…VASH!"

She pushed into me as deep as she could as her muscle contracted and I felt her hot entrance squeeze together and a loud scream echoed throughout the bedroom…her scream made the familiar filling of a high, blanket down upon me and I lost it right along with her….digging into her hips as the warm release washed over me, causing my body to jump and the room to became nonexistent. My thoughts were clouded as I collapsed on top of her; nuzzling my face into her neck and waiting for the high feeling to leave me…

"*labored speaking* you're….you're the only one to make me scream like that…"

"*softly speaking* *smile* that's because I know what I am doing…"

"*light chuckling*"

I held her as I began to fall asleep…her steady breathing and warm skin lulling me into a land of nothingness and peace…

"Babe….babe wake up…I need to go check on the food…"

"*grumbling* unnnnnn…I wanna sleep…"

"Come on vash…I don't want to burn the house down"

"*grumbling* I'll die happy….a sleep…."

"Get off, silly"

She worked her way from under me and I rolled over onto my back. I groggily opened my eyes and watched her reach for my shirt and throw it on…

"*sleepy tone" hey, that's my shirt"

"I'll give it back after I check dinner"

"….what time is it?"

"7. We've been asleep for almost two hours."

"*stretching* oh man…dinner is probably gone by now. If it isn't burned up, it will likely be dry as hell."

"You're probably right, but there might be hope for it since I had it set to low."

"We'll find out in a minute"

I scratched my head and looked around for my pants; once locating them, I slipped into them and made my way towards the kitchen...

"So, what's the damage?"

"Yep, it's gone."

"Should I go grab something from that restaurant a couple of blocks away?

"No, I'll dig something else out. We still have leftovers from yesterday and if all else fails, we can make sandwiches"

"Ok."

"I miss milly cooking for us all the time"

"When she wasn't trying to kill us"

"*smile* yeah"

"She did make an awesome lasagna though…"

"That she did."

"I should invite them over sometime this week."

"Milly already said she planned on coming by Thursday after work. She said knives will a company her if he isn't too tired."

"She is really wearing him out, isn't she *smile*"

"*laugh*"

"Well, that's great then. I'm going to hop in the shower, do you need me to do anything before I go?"

"Nope, have a good shower babe"

I ran over and kissed her on the cheek then left towards the upstairs bathroom. I hummed as I walked over and turned on the shower head, causing the warm water to fall into the cold tub and run down it. I need to buy some more shampoo. I dropped my pants to the ground and stepped in, allowing the comforting water to drench me as I began lathering my wash sponge. I started singing a tune from this new singer that just came out, scrubbing away at my body and getting louder as I got into it…

"*singing* someone to love...someone to trust, someone to knowww! Someone-"

I heard a banging coming from the floor boards and laughed. She didn't like my singing very much. I turned it down and continued bathing myself; smiling and humming as the joy of having her with me gave me solace…

/knocking on the door/

I hope someone will answer…I knocked on the door louder and waited as I looked down at the gray colored doormat. I was about to give up when the unlocking of the heavy latch and a familiar face greeted me from behind the door….

"Mrs. Stryfe. How are you this evening?"

"I'm doing well Kyle. How about yourself?"

"We all have been managing without the master, it is nice to see you. Are you here to return the items you specified over the phone last week?"

"Yes. Here is the box containing the items he had at my house. I also have his spare keys in my pocket"

"Alright, would you like to come inside, ma'am?"

"No, I have to get going soon so I just wanted to make sure I returned everything before it got too late."

"Very well."

I handed him the small box and then reached into my pocket and pulled out the silver keys. He took them from me and placed everything down on the floor inside.

"If you wouldn't mind waiting, I have something the master wanted me to give you."

"Sure."

He then turned and left me for a moment before returning with a small envelope. He handed it to me and I grabbed it, looking it over before smiling at him.

"Thank you. Before I forget, here"

I then began removing the huge engagement ring from around my left middle finger but he stopped me before I could finish.

"That isn't necessary Mrs. Stryfe"

"*confused expression* what, why?"

"Master Matthew wanted me to inform you to keep it. It was his gift to you, so he doesn't want it back"

"But, this ring must have cost him well over 100,000 double dollars. I can't possibly-"

"He doesn't want anyone else to have it but you. I hope you keep it as a memorabilia of your time here with us as well as him. It has been my pleasure being able to meet the young master's love."

"Kyle…"

"You take care of yourself, Mrs. Stryfe. Have a good evening"

"*teary smile* goodbye Kyle"

He then bowed his head lightly and closed the door. I looked down at the ring and small envelope and then headed back towards Vash's hovercraft. I climbed into the large vehicle and closed the door; sitting there for a moment looking at the envelope before tearing it open, unfolding the neatly folded paper and reading it….

_/ To my beloved Meryl,_

_ First off, I wanted to tell you that I am sorry for my not giving you this letter in person; I didn't know how to handle seeing you after our last day together and I knew that if I got you alone again I probably wouldn't have let you leave. I am sorry I wasn't able to give you the happiness you brought to me and become your husband. You will always be the light of my life and the mold that held me together. My heart will never love someone in the same manner that it loved you. I am now in space, looking over the vast void and yearning to have you with me, though I know it is now never possible. I hope you have the best possible life god could grant such a beautiful and loving woman, such as yourself. Vash is a lucky man to have you and I expect him to give you only the best. Thank you for letting me love you for the short amount of time you did and giving me life in this otherwise dismal existence. The wedding ring is my gift to you so you will always remember me and never forget how much I love you. If fate has it for me to see you again…to have you in my life once more after my journey is done, I will take you back with open and loving arms. Until then, you keep being wonderful and smiling brightly. I love you Mrs. Stryfe. Goodbye. _

_ Sincerely, Matthew Matherson/_

I wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled gently; folding the paper and placing it down on the passenger chair. I know he will always have a place in my heart…and I hope he will find his happiness out there in the deep blue, starry sky…I started the vehicle and began my decent down the steep hill…thank you matt…and goodbye….

-/-/-/-

Epilogue

_/six years later/_

"Hey, give me that!"

"*young child grinning* nope, its mine! I got it first Mr. Vash!"

"*annoyed tone* you little- give me back my piece of cake you little demon child!"

"*laughing while running away* you have to catch me first!"

"Damn it! Come back here Jesse!"

I shook my head as the little boy ran circles around the large hall while Vash tried to grab a hold of him. Mikey's little five year old was giving him the run around...

"Hey Meryl! *smile* are you going to help that husband of yours catch that little one?"

"I think he will be fine. He should know not to mess with little kids by now. He never wins"

"*smile* Mr. Vash has been like that for years. I just hope when you two have a child he doesn't lose that carefree personality of his."

"Yeah, and speaking of children, how is the one in your stomach?"

"*smile* Fine! I am still getting used to the morning sickness but I was glad I felt well enough to have the ceremony today."

"Knives seems a little stressed though"

"He just wants me to be ok. I think he worried all the smells would trigger another vomiting fit"

"*smile* Well, I am glad your new husband is taking care of you like he should"

"*smile* I knew he would! That's why I married him!"

"Yeah, just don't let him teach that child how to kill people and we will be ok"

"*laugh*"

"Hey *heavy breathing* do you think you could get Mikey to get that kid of his to give me back my plate?"

"Just get another piece or something else, babe"

"*whine* but…that had the most strawberries on top! Plus, they ate all the damn donuts already!"

"*smile* Mr. Vash, I will help you."

"*eyes beaming* you will!"

"Yes, I will go get knives"

"NO!"

He almost fell over the chair he was leaning on as we looked on and laughed….he knew knives would kick his butt if he thought he was doing something to annoy him at his wedding. I felt a little nudge on my arm and was greeted by the cute five year old smiling up at me.

"Would you dance with me meryl?"

"You're trying to take my wife now too?!"

"*smile* pay him no mind Jesse. Of course I will dance with you."

"*beaming* great! Let's go!"

"Wha, wait! What about me?!"

"Go get some cake and I'll be back *wink*"

"*crying* that's not fair….he stole my girl too"

"*laughing* you want me to tell knives about that too?"  
"*crying* stop teasing me! It's not funny!"

"*laugh*"

The little boy held my hand and guided me to the dance floor as I looked around the slightly crowed room. It had been a beautiful ceremony and I was happy to see Knives finally make Milly unavailable. I guess getting her pregnant opened his eyes to see that he should make it official. Mikey was sitting with his equally pregnant wife, Nikki, smiling at us as the little boy twirled and waved at them. I waved also and then looked over to see Meg talking with one of the servers at the bar. She was still trying to find Mr. Right; poor girl. I know she will get it right one of these days. Milly's countless family members were hovering over Knives and I could tell he wanted to get away from them as quickly as possible as he stood there trying to seem interested. Milly had gone over with Vash to get him another piece of cake and some of her co-workers began speaking with them about something. I was surprised when I saw some plant employees amongst the crowd of guest and figured that Knives had finally come around to making some friends at work…or milly forced him to invite them. Everywhere I looked there was smiling faces and people enjoying themselves as a warm feeling engulfed me at the thankfulness I felt to be amongst them…

"Hey, Meryl?"

"Hmmm, sweetheart?"

"I think you should leave Mr. Vash and marry me instead"

"*laugh* oh, I think he wouldn't be too happy with that"

"He will get over it."

"*smile*well, you're a little too young for my taste but thank you for the offer Jesse"

"*pouting* awwww…"

I continued to dance and then felt strong hands wrap around my waist and pull me close…I looked up to see a smiling Vash gazing down at me…

"Hey! She was dancing with me Vash!"

"*devious grin* nope, she's mine now! Get another dance partner!"

"*whining* noo, give her back!"

He then lifted me up and hurried away from the angry little boy as he chased us around the hall. This man, I tell you, is the biggest kid ever…

"*laughing* mine, mine, mine! Ha-ha, can't catch me!"

"*angry tone* I'm going to get you, you over grown goofball!"

"How did you get such a big vocabulary for a five year old?"

"We all can't be slow like you Vash!"

"*smiling* well seeing how you can't catch me, I think you are!"

"*angry tone* when I get you, I'm going to beat you up!"

"Would you two quit it?! I would like to be put down sometime in the future Vash!"

"I will *dodging chair* just give me a minute to teach this little demon a lesson"

"*annoyed whine* demon! I'm not a demon, you needle noggin!"

"*joint laughter*"

I guess nick was here with us as well. I smiled and shook my head as we continued running around the room, and thought to myself that no matter how old we get…we will be able to share all the moments like this forever…

"*Knives* Damn it Vash! Stop running around with that woman like an idiot!"

"*Jesse* *whine* give her back! Give her back!"

"*Milly* Mr. Vash, Mr. Vash! Don't make him cry like that!"

"*Meg* Sooo, what time did you say you are getting off tonight?"

"*Mikey* so like I said, he broke my brother's best friends hovercraft and then didn't think he would have to pay him for it! I told him it didn't work that way….."

"*Milly's mother* Wooo, this alcohol sure is tasty!"

"*Milly's father* put the drink down dear. I don't want to have to carry you out of here like last time…"

*numerous conversations* *laughter* *loud music playing*

Let's forever have love and peace….and peace and happiness….and continuous love…..till we no longer are breathing to enjoy it….

***************************************End******** *********************************

Writer's notes: Can I get an Amen! Amen! It has been my great pleasure to give you 'Caught up in the Moment'. The journey was long and tiring but it's now finished and I couldn't be happier with the end result. I know this Fan Fiction is long and if you are able to get through all of it, I am eternally grateful! I hope you enjoyed my work and like I said in the beginning, if you haven't then, it is ok! I did! :D God Bless, take care and until next time!

/"Repeat after me! This world is made out of!"

"This world is made out of-"

**"LOVE AND PEACE!"**


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